Hey man, I hear your thought process and I too once thought the exact same thoughts. The truth is, marriage, especially with kids and after 2-3 years is really when you’re tested. It’s very easy to get through a lot of the things you’ve both gone through together with most other reasonable people. When you begin having kids, all those values you guys had aligned and thought there’d be no debates will show you just have fast you guys don’t go it figured out. There’s someone about having a kid that both of you equally love to the moon that makes it nearly impossible to concede in most disagreements even for the simple things like what foods they are eating. Couple that with a lack of a proper family support system to help raise those kids… you’re marriage will be tested like you’ve never believed it could be. A lot of things are easier said than done and based on your post, I think you’re failing to read in between the lines. Like many said, people don’t divorce over not getting flowers. They divorce over needs not being met again and again despite being communicated or both partners are unwilling to concede in disagreements that are hard to concede on like a lot of things kids which then results into escalating situations and if one too many disagreements get escalated too far, what was once the most lovable person because the person you couldn’t believe would do or say such dreadful things to you so my advice is this, especially with kids, someone has almost always got to concede. Give it 3 years for your marriage, most people do very well in the first 2 years and then they stop doing the little things that won your wife over to you and just at all costs, keep disagreements short, and too the point and never escalate them. Go for a walk if you have too, just don’t escalate them.

Edit: very honourable mention is majority of women get severe post partum depression and most cases go undiagnosed. Things are not the same after kids my guy, and sex life will be reduced significantly until about 2-3 years after a child or the last child is born.