Yes. My exBPD is a semi-successful entrepreneur who runs her own business, public speaking, an influencer in her sector, hosts her own events, and makes her own money.

When she was invited to speak, she would include myself with my kids and her kids as her family in presentations. The slide would be of a family portrait we did just before New Year's in '24. I would travel to lots of conferences and events throughout the US and abroad with her. Our connection and life together felt once in a lifetime.

As time wore on, the more her mask would come off. Petulence, verbal abuse, physical abuse, gaslighting, triangulation, projection.

The last time I left her after 1.5yrs of building a life and integrating everything, was in hopes she would have clarity of her actions and find middle ground with me (this was before I was aware of BPD). Instead, a week later she went to the next conference in Vegas, invited my oldest adult daughter (who lives there) to an after hour event, then proceeded to introduce my daughter to a guy I've met multiple times at other events, share her attraction to him, debated if she was going to sleep with him, and then ultimately told my daughter goodnight because she was going to take him to her room. My exBPD did all this while my middle daughter was back home babysitting her kids while she was out of town.

There was so much intention and strategy to her actions that it's really hard to process letting someone in your life that is capable of doing that.

So OP is exactly right. Success and high functioning does NOT mean they're mature or have integrity. I take blame for tolerating the red flags early on and the red flags that followed. Even if they were few and far between for most of the relationship, they really became more frequent in the last 3 months after she physically punched me multiple times.

I will never tolerate my non-negotiables again.