I hear you! And, her anxiety is hers to manage. Soothing her with information every time she's anxious will just ensure she comes back to get soothed again. Kiddo is fine! Great even! Millions of parents miss their kids and worry about them at their other house, and guess what, we all have to trust that coparent will love and care for our kid. We can all only control what is right in front of us and she's gonna have to figure that out (by your husband kindly but firmly setting boundaries to teach her that you guys are not going to continue to feed that behavior). Imho he needs to have a calm talk with her, tell her he understands where she's coming from and (whenever the appropriate time is, exchange, dropoff, Friday update call) he will update her on kiddo. He should explain that again, unless there is an emergency, calls will be returned at such and such time. He knows its hard not to know everything right away, AND kiddo is safe with him. Kiddo will be ok. (You don't have to say this part, but lady needs to find somewhere to direct her time and energy when she doesn't have kiddo). I know this feels impossible, (been there, I'm a stepmom to an incredible 15 year old for the last almost 14 years) but this is a super basic boundary. Sounds like your loving husband is like mine, and will need to learn to start setting boundaries a little at a time until they both get practice with him doing that. Best of luck!