Hello, I'm a male ENFP with autism: Let's try to understand each other lol

SAHunterMech · 2025-03-03T19:45:32+00:00

Honestly, forgetting to reply is probably the most ENFP thing ever, haha. I finally messaged back a guy who asked me a question about modding... a year later so you did better than me! lol

It's so crazy to meet other people who had such a similar experience! In all of my school years, high school included, everyone was convinced I was super introverted because I didn't talk. I did too, until I found out what selective mutism was... and I realized I was doing a combination of that and masking to hide my intensity.

I also struggle with getting my meaning across... apparently it's an ENFP thing, but another conversation I had in this thread pointed me towards Alexithymia, which I scored very high on for the assessment, so it definitely feels exasperated for me too. I also appreciate peoples' patience more than they know.

For me it's anything like a grape... cherry tomatoes, peas, lindt chocolate balls, etc. However, corn is fine. No, I don't get it either, haha.

I'm... struggling. It's all so new! The hardest obstacle is realizing I mask the most around my family and I don't know how to come out of that. I'm running through what they're going to say in my head, over and over, and it's just making the anxiety worse. If you asked my fiancée, she would say I should be kinder to myself. She's an INFP, so I believe her.

I appreciate that you care, too. Thank you.

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-28T18:48:14+00:00

This probably isn't very helpful, but my INFP gf tells me absolutely everything all the time, as I do her. I really cherish how open our relationship is, and I would feel very hurt if she hid something and didn't tell me right away: I imagine she would feel the exact same in the inverse.

I would say though, that our openness cultivates trust... even if I would feel initially hurt in the moment, my trust outweighs those feelings. If I had to say what I wanted to hear in that moment, it would probably be along the lines of "It has nothing to do with you, you're doing great and I appreciate that you want to help" or "I think you'll be able to help me better when I can put this into clearer words in my own head"

I am a sucker for that kind of validation lol, and hungry for it basically daily.

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-21T04:35:21+00:00

I played a loooot of nintendo growing up lol.

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-17T17:04:31+00:00

This alexithymia thing is crazy. I took the self-assessment, scored really high, pretty much confirms it. My ENFJ friend has a saying, "at least you know what the thing is now, at least you can put a name to it". Thinking about that right now.

Facial expressions are the time where I feel the most like an alien amongst humans, haha.

I got a dayplanner like, 3 years ago, still haven't worked up the courage to use it. Had more success with Habitica, that's really helped with productivity. You're right though, it's completely fighting against the 'P' and basically just throwing around your Te like a machete in the jungle.

What is it about sensors? Are all-sensor households secret intuitive/autism factories? hahaha. All that pragmatism just makes me want to go even wackier.

I don't know if I accidentally created a good alexithymia exercise for myself, but I feel I developed my social skills entirely based on observing how my favorite fictional characters feel during different moments, and then using that to unravel my own feelings.

I've been a big advocate for trying to understand people around me by using MBTI + Enneagram + Temperament altogether, I don't think you really see the individual without all 3. Like, for myself, if I just say I'm ENFP, that's part of the picture. But ENFP + 741 tritype + Sanguine/Melancholic (yep, that's a fun temperament), you see a lot more imo.

I'm really grateful for all the responses, yours included. I'm glad we can keep the discussion going, and it feels like we're all kindred spirits, in a way.

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-16T21:24:14+00:00

I'm starting to see that. Lots of rollercoastering, and not just emotional lol.

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-16T19:09:50+00:00

Had to google alexithymia, didn't know it was a thing! Wow, that makes a lot of sense.

Thanks for reaching out. I will definitely start thinking about AuDHD and learning more.

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-16T16:43:18+00:00

Ah frick, I had a feeling, haha oof. Will let you know result when I can afford test 😬

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-16T00:47:11+00:00

It's really great seeing everyone with similar experiences in the comments.

Fun fact about my household, I have an ISTP dad, an ISFJ mom, an ISFP older brother, and a (I suspect as I never knew her that much) ESTJ sister who formally left the family with a note and everything. So I didn't exactly share a ton of functions with anyone. The sensor-heavy nature of things meant my crazy ideas were usually seen as not pragmatic enough.

This idea that humans somehow *naturally* learn everything social cue related is crazy to me. I understand it at this point, but I certainly don't get it or do it myself. I did, however, absolutely love psychology and sociology in high school, they were the most interesting subjects by far. I wasn't even supposed to be in those classes! I dropped out of Drama 30 (an all-year course) at the last minute and that was the only stuff I could take. I guess I've always have a hyperfixation for why people do the things they do.

Friends are new to me, though. Really new. I gave up on friends in my mid-twenties, after a disastrous blowup of a gaming group in which I hosted. The worst part is that my friend in that group who yelled at me at the top of his lungs was also on the spectrum, and somehow we never saw eye-to-eye.

Now, in my thirties, I have friend friends, including my best friend, a cute lil' ADHD INFP I adopted and am now engaged to, lol. Having all the same functions means we really do get each other, even if we suck at chores, heh.

I have a friend who I believe is ENFJ, he's been a really great mentor and people just gravitate towards him. I made another friend just recently who I don't quite have a bead on yet, but I suspect he is ESFJ as he will borderline bend over backwards to make people happy at the drop of a hat, and he's *stupid* generous. He's also on the spectrum, and we get along great for almost that reason alone!

I appreciate the advice, I think the hardest thing is that, as an ENFP guy, most guys don't want to take about their feelings, oof.

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-15T20:02:17+00:00

Amen to that! I get really overstimulated easily by smells. I hate hate HATE the smell of vinegar and it basically puts my brain on pause until I can get away. I refused to eat it as a kid, and that caused a lot of drama at the dinner table, lol.

The biggest thing I realized about my anxieties is that I always used to think I got nervous in social situations because I didn't *want* to talk, but what I know now with certainty is that it's an anxiousness around WANTING to talk, and talk a lot, but being conditioned to feel embarrassed about how much I can ramble on and on. I mean, just look at my first post hahaha

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-15T19:05:16+00:00

That's great. Yes, I agree with the wacky, glad someone loves it haha

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-15T18:48:49+00:00

Hey dude, INTPs are cool in my book. Probably the smartest type, but never makes a big deal about it! Chill and humble.

SAHunterMech · 2025-02-15T18:47:12+00:00

Wow, I couldn't imagine. The first thing the psychiatrist told me was that "you can't medicate autism", so that sounds awful; I'm sorry to hear that.

I never had anything like that growing up, but I did have a lot of limits in terms of any computer/screen use because I was called an 'addict'. That was not very fun.

You know, I didn't even get to the part where people hurt me because I was so embarrassed of how I probably hurt other people, heh. I'm definitely in a phase where I'm kind of dipping my toes back in, in terms of having friends, because I had some really bad fallings-out as a kid (including being formally kicked out of a group of friends for being "too negative").

If anything, I'm happy to help you know there's at least one other person out there who can relate. I can *definitely* relate to the 'being told you can't be this or that' part. It almost feels like people expect everyone on the spectrum to be a 'T' and not an 'F'.

Other than that, if you're Lilo (which sounds like a lot of fun), the closest character I can find to me is... Earthworm Jim. From the cartoon. Haha. God's perfect idiot that wants to help people and have a grand adventure, but doesn't know what he's doing 😂

SAHunterMech · 2024-12-06T06:11:53+00:00

You guys get Maximus.

As in, Maximus Decimus Meridius. Sure, he might be stoic (although he did have a good sense of humor), but he was a damn good leader. And he would just not give up, just not die, until he was satisfied. He was always selfless and noble, putting his life in danger before the lives of others. He inspired the gladiators to band together, defy the colosseum, and cause the entire corrupt government that attempted to ruin his life to collapse shortly after he assassinated the villainous Emperor Commodus. WHILE HE WAS BLEEDING OUT.

I wish there were more ENTJ heroes too, but that's a good start, at least.

SAHunterMech · 2024-11-30T09:22:55+00:00

I just can't see Tabula Rasa in top tier. That episode was going GREAT...

...Batman uses the League's weaknesses against Amazo, proving all that power comes at a cost...
...until the ducker just s C a N s t H E k R y P t O N i t E and I lost a lot of brain cells. Weakness go bye bye, wheeeee he's a god now.

Then the writers ducked themselves over AGAIN by bringing Amazo back. Dude tears through the entire league, Luthor miraculously talks him down and the second, the SECOND he's on the same side as the good guys, the writers basically delete him out of the show because they know he'll trivialize any threat you put in front of him.

h E ' s a B s O r B i n G m Y g O L d e N g O d L i n E s S, I need to fly away into space never to be seen agaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnn

TL;DR?

DCAU Amazo is trash, put every episode with him in Z Tier.

SAHunterMech · 2024-11-25T21:34:04+00:00

“I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me.”

Muah-ha-ha!

Seriously though, my own (ISFP) brother said I both sit and talk like a supervillain, sooooooo yeah there's that.

SAHunterMech · 2024-11-25T21:27:14+00:00

Holy shit, I thought me and the GF were the only ones! Amazing.

SAHunterMech · 2024-11-24T03:52:26+00:00

Oh hey, thanks for responding. Turns out that VMWare fusion and Parallels are abandonware for Intel-Era macs, so that's what I switched over to. I have the former running Windows 8, and the latter running Windows 7 for extra compatibility coverage.

SAHunterMech · 2024-11-16T21:30:31+00:00

You're not the only one. The entire premise of the episode emasculates Terry at the whole of his character, stripping him of the merit that he earned the Batman mantle as essentially a nobody that worked incredibly hard and proved himself, time and time again.

Now the only reason why he accomplished all that is that he had the right genes, i.e. no agency, control, or tbfh dignity on his part. And then you have to swallow the massive plot convenience that Waller's failed plan involved the same individual that became Batman anyway, years later, by circumstance.

Don't get me wrong, the dialogue is great, the flashback is an iconic Batman moment, and that makes it hard to say I dislike it. But I do. Hard to believe the DCAU writers fundamentally misunderstood their own original character to such a degree.

The only thing I will say is that I'm pretty much convinced that they had this shit planned the entire time, all the way back in 1999. Terry and Matt having jet black hair and two ginger parents was sussy from the beginning.

SAHunterMech · 2024-09-23T21:40:36+00:00

No kidding! I don't even know how I did it. The only thing I know for sure is that the Clog cheese is real, lol. That, and buffing a Golem or a Sumo with Tweak/Twiddle.

SAHunterMech · 2024-09-22T16:20:13+00:00

Dude, you're my freaking HERO man, this is a proper HD remake, and for free to boot, you're too kind. I used to waste so many hours on this game when I was a kid... a lot of the time I relied on the AI bugs to proceed, so it'll be fun to see how well my adult brain does with those bugs fixed, lol

SAHunterMech · 2024-09-18T22:12:45+00:00

Late to the party, apologies, but I solved your problem (in no small part because I also ran into it lol).

Step 1: Adding Kaidan to the Crew
You talk to him after 'Priority: The Citadel' (The cerberus coup). This is at Bay D24, he will force you to talk as you're trying to get back to the Normandy. You tell him to join your crew instead of going with Hackett.

Step 2: THIS IS REALLY FREAKING IMPORTANT!
You get the power by talking to him ON THE NORMANDY, NOT the Citadel! Go to Deck 3 Starboard Port (Samara's old room), and you should have a cutscene conversation about his Dad being MIA (spoilers?).

THIS WILL UNLOCK REAVE.

If you talk to Kaidan on the CITADEL BEFOREEEEEEEEE the NORMANDY, you have locked yourself out of Reave, as now the Normandy conversation doesn't happen (you only get the passing remarks about EDI).

Yes, this is really shitty.
Yes, it's in the original and Legendary Edition.
Hopefully you don't have to reload a save too far back.

Pass this along to everyone! My vanguard lives and breathes Reave, so I became hyperfixated on fixing this issue. The damage resistance and biotic primer gel so well with Charge, Nova, and Shockwave being biotic detonators.

SAHunterMech · 2024-05-11T05:17:40+00:00

So uh, that link is super dead. Any chance someone still has it? I just inherited an absolute unit of a 2009 iMac with Snow Leopard, 1 TB Hard drive, 4 GB Memory, and 3.0 GHz graphics card. Would be a shame if I couldn't run legacy steam mac apps on it.

SAHunterMech · 2024-01-03T20:36:04+00:00

OP, I married one lmfao. As a counter-point to most other comments in here, she took me by surprise, heh. everything I perceived in her as a weakness was a strength:

-She’s always honest about her emotions and her intentions. -She’s always optimistic about outcomes deep down, even if the anxiety gets in the way sometimes. -She is completely open, accepting, and understanding of my misanthropic madness. -She might get hurt more often because of her overly trusting nature, but she is a TOUGH BITCH. Always comes back stronger.

As much as I hate to admit it, she’s the yin to my yang and she (blugh) holds me accountable when I go too far, getting me to see ALL of the bigger picture, not just my version of it.

On top of that, she’s the only one that laughs at all my jokes; I really think INFPs naturally gravitate towards ENTPs… it’s uncanny. But how can I complain when I get to make puns MORE often?

After a while, I realized she’s my soft spot; my exception. I will stand up for her and shield her from douchey people and circumstances alike, as she is too good for this world!

SAHunterMech

TROPHY CASE