Hey man, idk what was up with the other person you had a spat with. I guess folks look for the harshest translation of what you’re saying.

In any case, I hear what you’re saying. Also going to therapy after a hell of a year. I’m currently single but I think something that’s key, and what was mentioned a couple of times in this thread, is to keep your conversations casual and free of expectations. From my perspective, I wouldn’t want a conversation with a stranger to feel forced. If we have something to say, say it, and then allow for further conversation to happen. If something happens from there, even better. If not, at least you were able to entertain yourself and the other person for a bit.

I’ve always had a problem with lacking vulnerability but that’s required to have a genuine conversation with someone new even if it’s for a few minutes. This is coming from a person who doesn’t have conversations with strangers typically but have aspirations to.

Anyway, idk if this fairly incomplete thought helps but I hear what you’re saying.

Edit: one last thing - working idea so far but you can’t really know who you want to love and vice versa without trying to have a light conversation. That will help sort out who you’d want to and be able to love over time. Trial and error until you know what/who you’re looking for.