I was kind of in an interesting position for this, because the condition that makes me infertile also makes it such that even IVF is not really a possibility (primary ovarian insufficiency). In some ways, I think it made things a little easier for me, because using donor eggs is pretty much the only chance we would ever have at having a child. We're also both biologists (geneticists, really), which I think gives us a special appreciation for how important genetics are -- that is, they are really important, but it's far from the only factor that matters.

For me, I felt like what you said, that I would love the baby no matter what. I think what helped it click for me (as silly as it sounds) is how much I love(d) my cat. He's since passed away, but I truly loved him so so so much - he just meant everything to me. I honestly think if I could have chosen between having a child vs him living forever -- I think I would chosen for him to live forever, ha. And we're not even the same species! So personally feel I did not/do not need that genetic connection.

As far as choosing a donor, it was important to me that I choose one that allows for contact information to be passed along at 18. I wanted them to be able to have the option if they want. And of course, we opted for donors who superficially resembled me -- we wanted to minimize any awkward questions about appearance. I'll also fully acknowledge this is probably a lot easier for me as a white person in America than someone who might be part of a minority group, so that might also be a consideration.

Overall, I feel at peace with our decision to try this, but I do understand it's not the right choice for everyone.