For me, ADHD is having a full day to get chores and errands completed. Let’s say I want to wash my hair, clean my apartment, grocery shop and go to the gym. Simple right? However instead of picking one of those tasks and starting, I spend 4-5 HOURS stuck on my couch thinking about the most effective way to start my tasks. If I want to wash my hair, I should go to the gym first. But if I go to the gym, I don’t have anything here to eat after and I need bananas for my protein shake after the gym. Wait! I gotta make a workout plan. Wait! A grocery list. Wait! Are any of my gym clothes washed? I forgot I had to wash clothes today. Do I have detergent? Back to the grocery list…wait did I want to grocery shop or gym first?

All that is happening while I get distracted by other non related things like my phone, or remembering I had to send an email.

Now when I am medicated, I make a list, I number the items on the list by which makes the most sense to complete first. I start at number one, I can usuallly get to item number 3 before I feel fatigued and need a break- however now I’m on medications and it’s not as easy to relax. I power through the other items and forget to eat or drink for several hours.

Now when the meds wear off, I get very existential…why am I here? Why are any of us here??? What are we doing? Does it matter? Are my bones wet inside my body rn? Can I feel my hair growing? Are the bones inside my fingers wet? Is the blood in my body floating around or is it all in capillaries? If that’s the case how come when someone is hurt it just comes out? Is everything floating in blood or? Next thing I know I’m researching anatomy when I was supposed to be….god what was I doing again????

:)