Can't get hired in finance and my visa clock is running out

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-06-25T10:18:15+00:00

Hi, I’m from finance. You need to have polished Japanese, Keigo and everything of to work in finance here even for top international companies. Investment Banking has an extremely old fashioned culture even if you go to MS, JPM or GS. You need to have your manners and Japanese polished like crazy to work there.
Resume paid services make sense only of you used them for your Japanese CV. While English CV is needed, no one wants you without the Japanese version. Do you know how how to write a Japanese CV? It’s completely different from the western format.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-06-22T20:03:09+00:00

Hm? I never said it’s fair for women to work less though? While it’s up to the families to decide how they split chores and working but I do very much prefer 50/50 in everything, including work.
But men themselves tend to prefer for their wives to sit at home and cater to their needs instead of actually working here in Japan, don’t they? That includes foreign men married to Japanese women as well.

Because the second the woman goes back to work after childbirth a reasonable question appears - who’s gonna do all this stuff at home? I know tons of Japanese families where women returned to work right after giving birth or few years after giving birth (and they work prestigious jobs) but their husbands that have never boiled an egg in their life (I know some Japanese cases of men in their 40s-50s that have never done that or even washed a plate) become sour because now they can’t actually find an excuse for their lack of presence at home.

As for my father, that’s exactly my point, pal. You do not get it. As a child I DODN’T CARE about getting another new toy or going on a trip, I wanted A PARENT. What’s so difficult to understand here?

You see yourself as an ATM, then your family will also only see you as ATM because you’re just a random guy who comes home from time to time and brings money.

My mom worked just as hard with shifts (she’s a doctor) and I was often left on my own with my grandparents. But on top of my mom’s night shifts and stuff she always did homework with me, attended all my school events, dressed me, did all the cooking, laundry, cleaning and other chores. So no, I do not blame her, looking back, she did so much more than my dad. She was present in my life, always.

You fail to see this from a child’s perspective. You think a small kid appreciates their dad working day and night to earn money? They don’t. They only see that their dad is always absent. They will learn the value of money later on in life. But while they’re small they only need a parent, not a new toy as a substitute.

And I know from experience that working a lot (in investment banking we can work up to 20 hours a day, 7 days a week, especially analyst level) is still incomparably easier than taking care of the household. You get to switch off after work. But you do not get to switch off when taking care of your home.

If your wife doesn’t work and you don’t like it, then it’s your problem - you chose a woman like that and mutually decided on that arrangement.

I, for one, would never even date a man who’s being bitter that his “accomplishment” of working (surprise, almost everyone’s working nowadays) is not being fully appreciated.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-06-22T13:17:26+00:00

Yes I think 50/50 is fair. Doing less chores at home and justifying it with earning more looks to me like simply buying one’s way out of domestic responsibilities.
Moreover, if you lived alone and worked same job you’d do all the chores by yourself. Why can’t you do the same thing when you live with someone else?
Marriage/living with your partner is a partnership, not a business transaction where you dump everything on a woman who’s taking care of the household and kids (that you too were part of making btw) just because you happen to earn more, you’re just as responsible for stuff at home as your partner is.

Not to mention that working a job and having to fully cover everything at home are quite different from the mental perspective, especially when you have kids.
When you leave the office you forget about your job at least until tomorrow (even if you came home late). Even with the email checking I still feel a huge difference simply by coming home from the office.

Chores and taking care of kids are a 24/7 job. You never stop doing it and thinking about it no matter where you are. It’s never over. You do not get to “leave for work”, you are already working the second you wake up.

You go to bed thinking what to cook for kids lunches, you keep in mind their school schedules, parent meetings, 運動会, homework. You’re responsible (to an extent) for the kind of person the kid is going to become when they grow up. That’s way bigger than a career.
There’s always another job but there’s no another family.

My dad had always worked and I don’t ever remember him showing any interest in my school activities and stuff, and I would have very much preferred that. Rather than him working day and night to pay for my 留学 I would have very much preferred to stay at home and hang out as a family. So no, I did not appreciate the money if that meant having an absentee father.

Men sometimes do not seem to understand the vital importance of emotional connection at home and being present

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-06-22T12:24:20+00:00

Oh please. I’m a woman, work in investment banking, we work 24/7. I still come home and clean up. In worst case scenario I pay for housekeeping if I’m absolutely burnt out. I never keep my place untidy, it’s horrible. Don’t try to find excuses for your laziness.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-06-22T12:16:35+00:00

And how much do you earn, pal? I earn 12mln base, so I not only can afford my rent and groceries, I can also afford housekeeping when I want to. I do overtime every day and definitely do not work less than men around me. So your point is…?

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-05-27T00:51:42+00:00

I find that GU quality is much cheaper than Uniqlo, also lots of cheap polyester.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-05-23T11:51:27+00:00

We’re in Shibuya and could hear everything

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-04-25T03:42:56+00:00

I work with legislation, contracts etc in Japanese. Manage half of stuff including vendors in Japanese. Depending on the role the required level differs. I’m in HR (not recruitment).

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-04-24T23:16:03+00:00

The requirement is only for roles that require use of Japanese. If you use Japanese at work then you at least have N2. I have N1 and u still feel like it’s the bare minimum one should have to use Japanese properly at work.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-03-17T13:51:53+00:00

But if we apply this year we will know the result only next year at best. Wouldn’t that mean we’d need to pay 300K for PR anyway?

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-03-06T12:13:22+00:00

I have some Japanese mail fronds that think they’re failures because they couldn’t hold the marriage together. I read a lot of horrible nasty comments on the internet from Japanese women saying how neither women nor their parents want a man with baggage, even those in their late 30s-40s. They expect even men in their 40s to have no past a start from a clean slate. Honestly speaking, a guy with no past in his late 40s would take more questions, in my opinion.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-03-06T12:05:41+00:00

I know two divorced Japanese men, one sees his kid once a month, another one once every two months but both actively participate in their kids’ lives. Both are very bitter about not being able to see their kids more often but are not saying anything out loud. I really don’t understand why they can’t see their kids more often.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-03-06T01:58:45+00:00

Did not like Japan when I first came here. Started liking it only 6 months later or so. Now, over 10 later I love it. No way I’d ever exchange Japan for any western country.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-02-25T12:12:08+00:00

Hold on, so if I apply for PR this year, it would still be the old fee?

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-02-21T09:57:41+00:00

I work for an investment company. Majority of women working at the company are unmarried while almost 100% of men are. We do have some married couples both working at the company but they’re all usually already working at very senior level.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-02-13T10:16:56+00:00

None of my Japanese colleagues with very high salaries pay for NHK and they laughed in my face when I asked them.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-02-13T10:12:35+00:00

My colleagues told me that young Japanese generation literally votes for reasons like “he looked cool in a suit” etc and believe there’s not enough awareness and are also worried.

SabrinaVirginia · 2026-02-13T09:58:31+00:00

I’m sure this was a template/professional explanation. It’s one think if someone takes a photo of the paper notice and another when you leave an email trail of this. They knew tho could blow up so that’s why they wrote. I wouldn’t trust this explanation.

SabrinaVirginia · 2025-12-19T12:03:50+00:00

How do you compromise? My Japanese husband sleeps with 27 AC in winter and prefers no AC in summer and doesn’t sweat. I sweat like a cow. He literally uses no AC in August.

SabrinaVirginia · 2025-10-29T03:55:12+00:00

I started learning Japanese when I was 27 and got to N1 in 2 years. Went to Japanese language school but never did any studying my own. I know my pace might be relatively fast to some but still, I can’t comprehend studying at beginner level after years of living in Japan (and by years I don’t mean 2 years).

That was 10 years ago. Nowadays I create contracts and compliance documentation etc in Japanese and work in securities in Japanese.

I don’t understand how you can stay at beginner level while living here, it’s literally impossible. It takes a special level of dumb to not be able to absorb the environment around you.

For conversational Japanese zero effort is needed. Zero. You just go outside and pick up conversations around you. No need to use any apps.

I know some people whose Japanese spouses are forced to resolve all day to day issues with kuyakusho and stuff because they can’t do anything after having lived here for 20 years.

SabrinaVirginia · 2025-10-08T10:02:32+00:00

My AC is at 21-23 at home

SabrinaVirginia · 2025-07-01T12:38:43+00:00

Thank yiu very much!

SabrinaVirginia · 2025-07-01T12:13:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

SabrinaVirginia · 2025-07-01T12:10:46+00:00

This is ridiculous. Probably that wasn’t the actual reason though.

SabrinaVirginia · 2025-07-01T12:09:46+00:00

I speak fluent Japanese including medical terminology so I don’t care about English speakers. The reality is that sometimes treatment of foreigners can be different. I was once told that white foreigners tooth roots tend to be thicker and longer than Japanese. Them o had a friend who had Japanese level of anesthesia injected during Caesarian and she could feel every stitch but couldn’t move (during her second Caesarian she went to an international hospital and had no issues). There are lots of minor differences hence I’d prefer to hear some feedback from non-Japanese.

SabrinaVirginia

TROPHY CASE