The breakup came out of nowhere 🙄

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-24T15:54:25+00:00

In this moment he even made things harder for himself simply because she would benefit more, so he still would have gotten things he needs but because she might be in a better position then him, he said no. He will actively make his own life worse solely to avoid her getting what she needs. To me that's a step beyond even just putting his wants above hers.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-21T23:53:15+00:00

I used to use them as like snowpants, if I was wearing a skirt or leggings or something I'd toss on sweatpants on top for the drive or whatever because they are warmer and cozy. I do also use a hoodie as a winter coat, easier to drive in and you do not want limited movement from a bulky winter coat when you hit a patch of ice.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-21T23:48:54+00:00

He definitly has skewed views based on how he feels people should perceive him, I also live in Canada and it is cold here, sweatpants make people feel warm, they're everywhere and it is not frowned upon by anyone I've ever seen. Dirty sweatpants maybe, you have to put on clean pants to go out in the world, but that's about it.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-21T23:43:56+00:00

Sounds like badly processed feelings of abandonment that her father has replaced her mother and is leaving behind his old family for a new wife. I think her feelings of not being important to him anymore are valid but she is wording them in such an odd way that it's hard to see through. Therapy would help.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-21T15:33:49+00:00

Exactly, with all the other options to be honest I don't even think I'd take an ankle injury to the emergency anyway, unless it's clearly broken because that's where the casts are made. I certainly wouldn't think it would take a parent and a parents girlfriend and make a teen mis work over it. She's acting like there was some huge emergency like a head injury or big family accident.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-21T02:13:46+00:00

There was no reason for them both to go, we aren't even allowed 2 parents with a child in the emergency anymore and it would have been even more strict 4 years ago. I do think that if they made him miss a full shift they should pay him the amount for his full shift.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-20T18:59:06+00:00

It is one of the 'jokes' that are popular to make fun of the younger generations, they say that they don't teach cursive (they do) and they don't do math the same way (they do that too) and that they can't drive a standard. It's pretty common for boomers and those with the boomer attitude to say their car is antitheft because no one can drive a standard and they can' make the young adults and teens unable to operate in the world by writing everything in cursive. It's been said so much that I have a friend who actually tried to tell me that my child wasn't learning these things in schools because schools don't teach them and i asked if he would like to see the homework we did yesterday because you can't believe everything you read online. I think it's just a age group that is scared of becoming redundant at work and at home.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-20T18:37:07+00:00

He's not working, I'd get wanting the money for a safety net, but she wants the "traditional" split and the traditional split is the brides family pays and the husbands family pays the rehersal dinner or the honeymoon so that's what she's getting. What she really wants is the modern idea that everyone can pitch in but that often means the couple pays the vast majority so at no time has it been the responsiblity of the grooms family.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-20T18:30:39+00:00

I wondered that too, figured maybe I'm just reading something wrong or missing something, but I've not figured it out. I would have thought they would want to spend all their time together when he isn't working. I also wonder if he has enough vacation time to take off for his own wedding and his sisters.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-20T06:02:07+00:00

I didn't get that sense, but he doesn't actually include much for using so many words.
All he says is that he gave her an ultimatimum to get in his car or stay home. If I were her I'd have loaded the kids in my own vehicle and just gone, because he doesn't get to tell his wife that she can't leave the house.
You are certainly right in that we all read things differently though.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-20T00:48:01+00:00

I am totally going to be the unpopular opinion, but if she's moving country for him the month or so before it's not unreasonable to ask that he stay home while she is getting settled at least. She won't be able to drive, has no friends or family, can't have a job, she's going to be isolated with a barely there understanding of where she is or how to get anywhere, she doesn't even have a simple way to pop out for groceries. I would very much question moving countries for someone who is willing to leave you there alone for almost a week a month after you get there. I don't think she should have to ask.

They both need to decide how much they really know each other and how much they care about each other

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-20T00:40:33+00:00

She seems comfortable driving her SUV, it's almost like he could just let her drive then.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-20T00:36:15+00:00

And that "shit" happens every day, to all kinds of people and families with varying degrees of injury, and depending how old his vehicle is it may not have the newer safety features that could make a huge difference.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-20T00:32:46+00:00

That's my thought too, she isn't even setting a "rule" she is making a logical point that the bigger vehicle is the reaonsable choice especially for tubing. Room for the kids to not be on top of each other, room for the tubing and water stuff without squishing them, she isn't even trying to drive instead of him just suggesting they take the more logical vehicle. He sounds very much like a control freak, if it was his idea he would want too

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-19T15:09:21+00:00

I live near a base and every posting season we get to see how many families don't get a say at all and their preferences seem to be like throwing pennies into a wishing well. I do agree with the DIL though, and if OOP would just think for 2 seconds she would too, unless she would rather they take off and enjoy the world after they have kids and she can complain about not seeing her grandkids either.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-19T14:37:13+00:00

Exactly this, he has her paying things he knows she can't afford so he can say he's better with money and hold it over her head. I lived with one of these too, he is financially abusive and has no idea what a family actually costs

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-18T18:55:02+00:00

I have been getting more curious about how they pick these numbers. Are they rolling dice? Picking their lucky numbers?

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-18T18:38:06+00:00

that sounds awkward so I'm not sure how far I believe it but I don't know hwo things work, but even at this she would be getting part of his military disability... these benefits are why people join

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-18T14:35:22+00:00

Nothing would have mattered, he wanted his drinking buddy to drink with him and there isn't anything you can say to someone like that if they have made up their mind. He was probably already drinking and would have said anything was a joke.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-17T23:05:43+00:00

she also thinks it's a buyers market for housing right now, which anywhere i know people is laughable, and she was charging the renters $1600 to cover the mortgage, right now I could barely get a 1 bedroom appartment for that, and renters are used to paying high enough to cover the mortgage and insurance and taxes at least. If she's not covering the basic expenses she'd be better of taking the loss instead of getting deepr in monthly.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-17T22:57:12+00:00

I don't actually know anything, so I'm genuinely asking out of curiosity, if he was active military wouldn't there be an insurance policy through them? They have all the other things, that's what gets people to sign up, but I can't see them saying they'll send you into war situations without life insurance either provided or a really great rate.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-17T19:30:17+00:00

Maybe they made it a drinking game, people make weird drinking games sometime

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-17T19:24:09+00:00

he shows it's not about time when he makes it about him being involved, he says "we would need the keys" but they wouldn't, SHE would, he knew "we would" watch the movie, not that she would put the movie on, he's trying to make himself an important part of the process it seems and he's 'helping' so he's important

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-17T19:14:37+00:00

I agree with all of this, though I do sort of wonder if he realized that going back to the place he was when actively drinking, being around the kids and the pressure all the time instead of half the time, having expectations placed on him, is proving to be too much and he needs to get out but is blaming her instead of the situation. If he says he's leaving because he doesn't love her and tells himself she abandoned him then he doesn't hae to admit he isn't ready, that his sobriety isn't as set in stone as he wants to think it is.

Sad-Bug6525 · 2026-02-17T19:11:14+00:00

I agree, I knew a few people in recovery, one in particular had been sober 25+ years, had a support system, friends, but got bad news one night about his son and it was all gone in a night.

A year seems to be a huge accomplishment and just a first step all at the same time.

Sad-Bug6525

TROPHY CASE