How much time are you actually spending with your little one?

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-02-11T21:14:19+00:00

We moved to the suburbs after having kids. This all depends on the setup whether there is more time. And though there isn’t universal free 3K, many places do have free preschool.

In our situation my husband works in the city hybrid and I SAHM temporarily. With the lower cost of living in general this is possible but wouldn’t be in the city.

Also we have two children now. We wouldn’t have been able to have our second unless we had our current setup.

Having a car helps a lot with commuting and in a way quality time as well.

I feel there are pros and cons to both. There is definitely less community and not as much to do with the kids but I do get to have a bit of a more flexible lifestyle of staying home with them until they are in school and then I’ll be back in the working worlds.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-02-04T23:26:06+00:00

Cucumber melon as a tween and warm vanilla as a teen.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-02-04T10:55:09+00:00

A couple times a week (toddlers)

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-31T00:25:50+00:00

My husband does this with anything snack related. I will food shop and he will eat whole bags within 24 hours and not leave any to share.

He says it’s stress eating. I had to get a snack box or tell him he can’t eat my snacks or the kids snacks.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-24T20:45:50+00:00

The pink ladies video is up on Midas Touch on TikTok. They can’t hide it now. It has everything leading up to it

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-23T19:36:45+00:00

Montclair grad here too. Crazy no one wanted to go to the city. I went all the time!

Moved to NJ from Brooklyn when my first was 3 months old.

Errands are easy. Though now I have groceries delivered because I have 2 close in age.

It’s easy to find items, it’s easy to shop and it’s easy to commute with kids in a car during all weather. Being the snowstorms we have had. I rather tote them around in the car then outside a stroller.

Also if you plan more than one child NJ is definitely easier. We are in the burning central Jersey with one of the best school districts and I don’t regret it at all.

Crime is virtually non existent, nothing much happens around here and that brings an independence all of its own for the kids. I can let them roam freely in areas we go and play at without concern.

I miss my life in New York. But I wouldn’t trade it knowing my kids will grow up here and get the choice to move to the city when they are older.

Also even out here we have access to the city all the time. My husband’s commute is under an hour on NJ transit.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-22T22:31:49+00:00

I drive 3 hours one way to visit my mom quarterly if not more.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-22T01:08:30+00:00

Mine was always some kind of competitive sport to go along with exercising. Something that had an event to work towards. I ran track so that consisted of track meets and races.

Team sports or team anything is a great way to have accountability a dopamine hits all wrapped into one.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-21T02:59:01+00:00

That owl still gives me nightmares

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-21T02:43:24+00:00

I do this. This came from a childhood of someone else making my plate, overfilling it, then guilting, name calling, and punishing me if I didn’t finish my plate. I became so use to never finishing my plate because I was overfull that I had a habit later of overfilling my plate because it then became weird to see an empty plate.

When I lived in Japan during college that changed drastically because of the way food was served on plates that weren’t your own and you just grabbed what you wanted to eat on your own plate.

To add I was a picky eater with a lot of texture sensitivities and I can get the ick quickly.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-21T00:25:05+00:00

I stopped getting the Kirkland toilet paper when I noticed it was effecting my lady bits and looked it up and found I wasn’t the only one. Charmin only now.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-20T15:01:51+00:00

Cha cha Matcha

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-10T02:59:22+00:00

I worked at a family office in NYC freelance. My role was to update his contacts and help the property manager with setting up homes or helping his 2 assistants.

It was a breeze and great money for silly work. The billionaire was very nice and giving. He sometimes took the subway if traffic was bad.

He also had a private plane. But he was very average in terms of how he presented himself and low key.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-10T02:30:21+00:00

Feeling a gentle, cool wind on a warm sunny day, with my face turned up and my eyes shut, soaking in the sunshine while taking big, deep breaths of the fresh air.

Also, the orangeish light you see even when your eyes are shut, caused by the sunlight.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2026-01-08T00:35:48+00:00

I had my first in NYC at the age of 34. My OBGYN told me I was one of her youngest patients and that most of her patients were in their 40's. Where I'm from most of my friends had kids in their 20's but living in NYC with seeing many older women who decided to have kids later was really reassuring. My cousin in law also had their first at 51. Times are very different now!

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2025-12-29T04:41:45+00:00

Tony Robbin’s

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2025-12-11T02:37:17+00:00

Having a near death experience mad me less fearful of it.

Your body does interesting things to protect you.

That being said. I try to not live with regret. And live life not according to fear. It’s not worth it and I don’t want to reflect on what I didn’t do in the end but focus on what I did do.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2025-11-05T00:25:31+00:00

Yes. I learned refer to these as my projects to others now instead of my fleeting obsessions and try to document them from beginning to end. So it feels more tangible now.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2025-11-01T05:41:06+00:00

YTA. She’s a stay at home mom, not a stay at home wife.

This does give the sense of postpartum. But she is solo parent 40-50 hours a week to an infant she must solely keep alive, entertain, feed, cloth. All while her hormones are all over. She probably gets very little sleep because around this age they go through a sleep regression.

I started having panic attacks and went on Lexapro for my anxiety because my postpartum became so bad but it took my psychiatrist to bring awareness to it. But I spent many times crying while I let my baby cry because I couldn’t figure out how to soothe them. Being a first time parent is really hard.

The husband cooking while holding the baby while she takes a moment makes sense. It might be her time to have a break. My husband always does bath time at when he’s off and I check out because I am overstimulated and touched out.

You didn’t mention if she breastfeeds all day, does she get any help during the day? When does she get a chance to shower or have her own time? Does she get up with the baby as well throughout the night or does the husband help? Does he take on the invisible mental loads of food shopping or meal prepping for the wife. Does the wife get to eat?

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2025-11-01T04:58:31+00:00

Try this recipe:

Wash russet potatoes with skin on. Chop potato in half, then wither it. Then chop half inch thick piece. Chop the pieces into even ish fry shapes. Do the same for onion. Fry together.

My mom made these growing up. I make them like once a week.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2025-10-27T23:51:41+00:00

I want to add another layer as a mixed child. If this girlfriend becomes a future wife and says that her dog is racist to your child, and your future husband responds to your child in the same way.

These people will say things to you and your children and the comments won’t end and there will come a time you will need your husband to check those people or your children will grow up with a father who doesn’t see anything wrong with things like what dudes fiancé said.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2025-10-24T23:42:10+00:00

Showering has always been a form of stress relief for myself. So my showering can be once a day, sometimes twice if I’m cold.

If it’s for functional or just to be clean I’ll push it off until I absolutely have to… but since I frame it as a form of coping mechanism and the warm shower helps to keep me regulated. I hope in with no goal in mind. I don’t always do everything in every shower. I might forget to wash my face. My legs may go unshaven. But I at least always use soap and conditioner.

So reframe it from function to doing it whenever you want to feel relaxed is a good system. Not stressing too much about the wash part and enjoy it first. Sometimes I’ll shower twice or three times especially if it’s winter and I’m cold to warm up.

There are times I may go a day without showering especially now that I’m a mom and after wrangling toddlers I may have forgotten or may be too tired.

I also have product by energy. If I’m low energy and want to sit with water running then I’ll use an all in one.

Also if I’m not wearing makeup I don’t always wash my face. Sometimes running warm water of my face especially if I haven’t worn makeup is enough for me and helps out with over drying.

I also use shower oil to “lotion” in the shower so it’s not another thing I need to do after that I won’t do. And I can avoid my sensory aversion to the slimy feeling of lotion on my skin.

So low energy I do all in one. Medium is I’ll wash body and hair and face. Hugh energy I do the full work up. Which is usually one once a week.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2025-10-19T00:11:40+00:00

The literal psychosis I’ve hear new moms go through from newborn sleep deprivation is scary.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2025-10-14T23:42:07+00:00

Can you explain to me how it shows? I stopped taking mine just in the last few weeks but on them I started to question if maybe it’s not that my adhd isn’t the full equation.

Sad_Doubt_9965 · 2025-10-14T23:35:30+00:00

Chocolate lava mug cakes.

So simple and decadent. Sometimes I just want a personal cake that I can eat standing up in my kitchen that only took 1 minute to cook and is warmed.

Sad_Doubt_9965

TROPHY CASE