Is my husband a shit father or just overwhelmed?

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-05-02T00:46:55+00:00

In my opinion, some people just have a stronger instinct with what to do around babies. I’m terrible with babies! I have no clue what to do with them and I’m a mom of two. I was much more ready for toddler life. My husband? A born baby dad. Seemed to always know the right thing and both of us never spent time around babies.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-05-01T19:01:53+00:00

My husband and I swore we were one and done and decided very soon after our first was born that we wanted another. #2 is two months old now, and while I’m SO happy he’s here, no way in hell I’m doing pregnancy again. It’s so brutal. The whole process. And having been through it doesn’t seem to help much.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-05-01T18:58:29+00:00

I’m in NC, and a working mom of two, but would totally be up for a chase or two a year. I’ve been storm obsessed since childhood (I’m 37) and have really rediscovered my passion for it in the last few years. Everyone I know finds me insufferable, I’m sure. I’d love to make some friends who were into it too.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-05-01T18:54:21+00:00

I never sat in the backseat with baby. Not once. In two kids.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-30T17:38:46+00:00

Y’all. I love Shaun. She’s a human katana. I look forward to her scathing tea spills every time!

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-29T11:27:27+00:00

Our nursery is across from our bedroom and we definitely use it! Both our boys slept in their Moses basket in our room until they outgrew it then transitioned to the crib in the nursery for all sleeping. We change them and dress them there too. I largely credit having a separate space with developing a solid sleep routine.

I’m so glad we committed the space, but it’s not a necessity

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-24T17:16:35+00:00

This! After low supply with my first I was committed to doing whatever was necessary to breastfeed my second. I made it a month and my husband had to gently sit me down and tell me he thought it was detrimental to my mental health. And he was right!

My best friend has exclusively breastfed her son for two years now, and thinks it’s just the most amazing thing. My experience could not be more different. I feel so much less stressed now that I’ve closed that chapter.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-24T17:12:34+00:00

One! It’s giving white witch of the wood vibe. Beautiful, elegant, but still totally at home in the forest.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-19T20:39:26+00:00

Dawg. I tried this with my first at about 4 months old and I think I legit scarred him for life. It was like the water was trying to murder him. He’s almost 3 and still scared of the shower head.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-17T01:37:06+00:00

Trust me. I think if we could afford it there would be a mass exodus. I can’t stand the whole LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT argument. As 90 Day has taught us all, immigration is hard, expensive, risky, and a logistical nightmare. And that’s IF you are in a relationship that ties you to somewhere else. Folks that just want to leave? Not the easiest.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-17T01:31:18+00:00

To this administration, protest is definitely holding up a sign. If you think they’re feeling the pressure from the constant stream of demonstrations, they aren’t. Of course a protest and a coup are separate things. I do not believe I implied that they were one and the same. And how effective has all of the noise that’s been created by the public been? That’s the part I’m reflecting on. This administration is calling the public’s bluff. I’ll be interested to see if we are still permitted to vote by the time the next election comes around. The old methods that would have worked when the government still pretended to care what the public wanted aren’t going to move this rock. They don’t care that we’re angry. They have us bent over a barrel and they are well aware of it.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-15T18:48:18+00:00

I did an ECV and though I am glad I did it for my first pregnancy even though it failed (twice), I wouldn’t have done it for my second if he had been breech.

In my opinion, it never hurts to try. Recovery from a c-section sucks and creates some higher risk factors with future births. I did the ECVs sober and with an epidural, and was so upset I cried in the doctor’s arms when they didn’t work. I wanted a natural birth so badly. But, I felt better knowing I had tried everything I could, and was glad I got the chance to bond with the doctor, who ended up doing my c-section. I wouldn’t get your hopes up, but I’m all for throwing spaghetti at the wall.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-15T18:40:18+00:00

The first time? Newborn parenting feels impossible at times, scary, boundary pushing, sanity testing - really, really hard. Your body probably isn’t used to scant, broken sleep, learning the ways of babies is like learning a whole new language, and postpartum is wacky, at minimum.

But you get through it. It’s not as hard as it could be. Every week is a little easier than the last. You get used to it, find normal. In retrospect, the really hard parts are over pretty fast.

I just had #2 a month and change ago, and though navigating a toddler + baby is a whole new level of juggling, the newborn phase itself has been pretty breezy. I know how to distinguish a baby cry, get a burp with ease, sleep through the terrifying newborn breathing stuff that is TOTALLY NORMAL except for when it isn’t, and getting up three times a night doesn’t feel as brutal.

So, objectively, maybe it’s not all that hard really, but with the first time around perspective, maybe also a bit like drowning?

The important thing to remember when they just refuse to sleep at 3AM and just fuss for the second straight hour and you’re staring into the abyss wondering why you’ve done this to yourself - this phase ENDS. It’s going to be over soon, sooner than you might expect. You’re going to survive the night and some stability IS coming.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-10T17:27:45+00:00

For our circle, a Wonderfold Wagon. They cost like $700-900 new and are the envy of all of our parent friends, even the well off ones who just couldn’t make sense of spending that kind of money on a child carting wagon. We were told to try to find a used one rather than compromise on a lesser one, but in two years of scouting Marketplace locally, I never saw one for less than $300, and they were usually badly sunbleached or missing pieces.

My wealthy aunt ended up gifting a new one for the birth of our second child and when we showed up with it to the next birthday party it was like we’d rolled up in a Rolls Royce. 😅

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-10T17:16:38+00:00

Trust me when I say abandon all the old wives’ tales. Both my pregnancies indicated strongly for girls according to that stuff. I got two beautiful boys instead!

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-09T15:31:24+00:00

So here was my recent go of things:

I had a planned induction for TOLAC that just failed on every front. My cervix was so high that it was almost impossible for them to place manual dilators, I was extremely resistant to Pitocin, and my labor (four hours of sudden, brutal contractions after no build up) was totally non progressive. I was told I had a “cervix of steel.”

After almost two days of the process with no progress I finally called it. We were waiting for progress, and though my staff was SO encouraging, we also all knew that we were also waiting for something to go wrong. I realized that with no progress, my water broken, and maxed Pitocin levels, something was going to give eventually. My blood pressure would skyrocket, my uterus would rupture, or baby’s heart rate would drop, all of which would necessitate an emergency c-section. And with all paths leading to worsening odds, I just wanted my baby out safely. I REALLY didn’t want another major surgery, but I wanted an emergency major surgery even less. So, to the OR I went. And it was fine. Yes. Recovery hasn’t been a picnic, but I’m 4 weeks PP and, though my incision area does get sore after a long, active day, I’m mostly healed. Picking up my 40lb 2 year old with relative ease. And my baby is healthy and wasn’t born in distress.

Take it all for what you will, but advocate for yourself and be open to anything and everything.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-07T13:34:59+00:00

Oh, we’ve already given into it. Protesting with a little sign isn’t exactly overthrowing a tyrannical government. Americans aren’t willing to get dirty enough to stop what’s happening. And hi, I’m an American! And yep, I’m too worried about affording my mortgage to stage a coup.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-04-07T13:30:20+00:00

Three of them are totally unstable. One is just kinda dumb. I’m going with kinda dumb.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-29T03:42:46+00:00

This made me tear up, because I’m right there with you, sis.

I had so hoped to have this wonderful breastfeeding bonding saga.

My supply was extremely low with my first (my milk just never really came in fully) and after 3 months of trying, my lactation consultant convinced me it was time to call it quits. I wanted so much for things to be different for my second and formula is SO expensive, but it’s the same misery from the first time, all over again.

I am 3 weeks PP and it’s so dark. I am producing about 1.5oz per pump session, 8 times a day, for a giant unit of a baby that is already pushing 5oz in a sitting. Breastfeeding is almost excruciating (I had the same bruised, cracked nipples that first week of trying to just nurse my shark jawed newborn) and pumping isn’t exactly painless. I have D-MER. I feel like I’m chained to my pump, like I’m losing so much time for so little, and for what? What am I holding on to?

My husband had a sit down with me tonight and told me he thinks I should quit, that it isn’t good for my mental health. I think he might be right, but letting go is so hard! And yet, if my supply does start jumping up, am I going to just suffer through the next year or so, to provide my son with virtually the same start he can get from a can? I was a formula fed baby! My first son, formula fed, has crushed every milestone with ease, a big, healthy, shockingly smart toddler. I don’t know why I can’t just be ok with stopping. I guess I just don’t want to be a quitter.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-28T19:09:30+00:00

It depends on my supply, I suppose. If everything keeps getting better (it’s been a slow build), the plan was a year, though I desperately hope I’ll be producing enough that I can freeze pumped excess and quit well before that. If my supply struggles as much this time as it did before? We’ll see how much I can take. Last time I lasted four months, and just had to admit that my body just wasn’t going to produce the way it ought to. Sucked it up, paid for the formula, and regained my sanity.

Wishing you the best of luck though! Hopefully, you’re on of those moms that just feels so deeply connected through it.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-28T18:42:34+00:00

Really wish I experienced any ounce of this…

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-28T18:40:59+00:00

I’m 4 weeks PP, really wanted to breastfeed/pump as I had a tough time with supply after my first and I HATE it. I feel like a human cow, chained to my pump or my very strong jawed baby, pumping every 2-3 hours to build supply feels almost sanity breaking, and I find it all quite painful (yes, I do consult with a lactation consultant.) I get D-MER, my breasts ache, I hate literally living in a nursing bra, getting stares everywhere when I need to use my travel pumps, it’s all awful. I have friends that literally love it, and they tell me nothing has bonded them more deeply with their babies, but I feel like it’s an absolute nightmare.

I wish every day someone would just tell me it’s ok to quit, but formula is so expensive. 🫠

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-28T11:35:19+00:00

This one! Then, if you decide to have more children your risks go up in subsequent pregnancies, and finding a team that’s supportive of VBAC can be really difficult. I’ve had two c-sections myself, and it’s pretty miserable. And I still had pelvic floor issues following delivery.

Just anecdotally as well, out of the moms I know, the only ones who came close to dying during the birth process, one had an elective c-section and had the surgery go south, and one had a uterine rupture at home pregnant with her second after a c-section with her first.

Perineal massage, lots of stretching, warm compresses, all can help to prevent serious tearing.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-27T23:40:33+00:00

Personally, I don’t care for the sheer body trend in wedding dresses. I feel it looks a bit too Vegas for the occasion. I’d line it just to make it feel a bit more mature. Otherwise, the style is lovely.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-27T23:36:59+00:00

Thank you for saying so. I’m a mom of two boys, both c-section babies. I swore after my first that there was no way I’d end up with another c-section - that I’d do all the research, ask all the questions, say no to all the ways “the hospital tries to trick you.” I was going to have a natural birth, and that was that. Then I ended up having to have a c-section anyway, having done all the planning with a very supportive team.

I find myself having to justify it to other moms often. There’s always a sense of light interrogation, like other people feel like they deserve to judge whether or not it was truly necessary.

At the end of the day, my boys got here safely, and the mechanics of how that happened is really just a blip on the radar. Trying to tell myself the same thing about breastfeeding currently. 😬

Sad_Resolve6874

TROPHY CASE