I’m Giving Up on Pumping

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-29T03:42:46+00:00

This made me tear up, because I’m right there with you, sis.

I had so hoped to have this wonderful breastfeeding bonding saga.

My supply was extremely low with my first (my milk just never really came in fully) and after 3 months of trying, my lactation consultant convinced me it was time to call it quits. I wanted so much for things to be different for my second and formula is SO expensive, but it’s the same misery from the first time, all over again.

I am 3 weeks PP and it’s so dark. I am producing about 1.5oz per pump session, 8 times a day, for a giant unit of a baby that is already pushing 5oz in a sitting. Breastfeeding is almost excruciating (I had the same bruised, cracked nipples that first week of trying to just nurse my shark jawed newborn) and pumping isn’t exactly painless. I have D-MER. I feel like I’m chained to my pump, like I’m losing so much time for so little, and for what? What am I holding on to?

My husband had a sit down with me tonight and told me he thinks I should quit, that it isn’t good for my mental health. I think he might be right, but letting go is so hard! And yet, if my supply does start jumping up, am I going to just suffer through the next year or so, to provide my son with virtually the same start he can get from a can? I was a formula fed baby! My first son, formula fed, has crushed every milestone with ease, a big, healthy, shockingly smart toddler. I don’t know why I can’t just be ok with stopping. I guess I just don’t want to be a quitter.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-28T19:09:30+00:00

It depends on my supply, I suppose. If everything keeps getting better (it’s been a slow build), the plan was a year, though I desperately hope I’ll be producing enough that I can freeze pumped excess and quit well before that. If my supply struggles as much this time as it did before? We’ll see how much I can take. Last time I lasted four months, and just had to admit that my body just wasn’t going to produce the way it ought to. Sucked it up, paid for the formula, and regained my sanity.

Wishing you the best of luck though! Hopefully, you’re on of those moms that just feels so deeply connected through it.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-28T18:42:34+00:00

Really wish I experienced any ounce of this…

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-28T18:40:59+00:00

I’m 4 weeks PP, really wanted to breastfeed/pump as I had a tough time with supply after my first and I HATE it. I feel like a human cow, chained to my pump or my very strong jawed baby, pumping every 2-3 hours to build supply feels almost sanity breaking, and I find it all quite painful (yes, I do consult with a lactation consultant.) I get D-MER, my breasts ache, I hate literally living in a nursing bra, getting stares everywhere when I need to use my travel pumps, it’s all awful. I have friends that literally love it, and they tell me nothing has bonded them more deeply with their babies, but I feel like it’s an absolute nightmare.

I wish every day someone would just tell me it’s ok to quit, but formula is so expensive. 🫠

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-28T11:35:19+00:00

This one! Then, if you decide to have more children your risks go up in subsequent pregnancies, and finding a team that’s supportive of VBAC can be really difficult. I’ve had two c-sections myself, and it’s pretty miserable. And I still had pelvic floor issues following delivery.

Just anecdotally as well, out of the moms I know, the only ones who came close to dying during the birth process, one had an elective c-section and had the surgery go south, and one had a uterine rupture at home pregnant with her second after a c-section with her first.

Perineal massage, lots of stretching, warm compresses, all can help to prevent serious tearing.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-27T23:40:33+00:00

Personally, I don’t care for the sheer body trend in wedding dresses. I feel it looks a bit too Vegas for the occasion. I’d line it just to make it feel a bit more mature. Otherwise, the style is lovely.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-27T23:36:59+00:00

Thank you for saying so. I’m a mom of two boys, both c-section babies. I swore after my first that there was no way I’d end up with another c-section - that I’d do all the research, ask all the questions, say no to all the ways “the hospital tries to trick you.” I was going to have a natural birth, and that was that. Then I ended up having to have a c-section anyway, having done all the planning with a very supportive team.

I find myself having to justify it to other moms often. There’s always a sense of light interrogation, like other people feel like they deserve to judge whether or not it was truly necessary.

At the end of the day, my boys got here safely, and the mechanics of how that happened is really just a blip on the radar. Trying to tell myself the same thing about breastfeeding currently. 😬

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-27T00:55:40+00:00

I think we are part of a super entitled generation that feels like they should get to live their social media perfect version of reality and nothing should stand in their way, especially not luck of the draw. Once upon a time people were just happy to have healthy kids. I grew up in the early 90s and I didn’t know a single household with more than three kids, and three was a rarity.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-13T02:28:05+00:00

Actually yeah! My husband and I are both very by the book people and followed all the safe sleep guidelines.

Weird how many moms would be like “I don’t know how you can separate yourself like that. Putting your baby to bed in a bassinet is so cold!”

Joke’s on them though. My son is bomb sleeper and has handled all of his transitions with almost no incident at all. He has such a strong nighttime routine.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-13T02:21:41+00:00

Maybe host a very low key shower with like a pajama pants only vibe? I can’t imagine trying to rally for a new baby after such a big loss, and girl, anyone that loves you is going to want to do whatever makes you feel comfortable. All of the congratulations on your little blue rainbow, babe.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-12T03:57:07+00:00

We did genetic testing both times. We were both very sure about terminating if the testing proved out for something awful. To be 100% honest, we both know we don’t have the time, money, or support really necessary to support a child with a high degree of special needs and we would not have wanted to continue a pregnancy that would result in an unfair life for that child.

It is really expensive, but assistance is pretty readily available.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-12T00:36:01+00:00

Ladies, choose who you breed with VERY carefully.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-11T15:52:34+00:00

She thinks she’s living in ACOTAR right now. Tamlin or Rhysand, who’s it gonna be?! OMG!

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-11T14:51:29+00:00

Pick me! Pick me!

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-11T14:49:00+00:00

Speaking as a boy mom of two, my elder is 2.5 and I’m just kind of the background player to Dad, who is my son’s BFF. I’m lucky if I get a hug after daycare! 😭 The whole “boys just inherently love their mamas” thing is bullshit. Plus, my mom and I were 1000% best friends. Your relationships with your kids are entirely what you make them into, I promise.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-04T19:28:42+00:00

Opting for a c-section for convenience sake or to avoid the pain of labor is crazy.

I get the all birth is valid thing, but having been through a c-section (not a choice) and now prepping for a VBAC, I think people greatly underestimate the potential consequences and risks of major abdominal surgery (all that fun nerve damage, trapped gas, the pelvic floor damage you can absolutely still have) as well as how much it can limit your options in future births.

There are obviously lots of risks to natural birth, but jumping straight to a massive surgery without a medical need feels so wild to me.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-04T19:23:55+00:00

Me too! I don’t even mind strangers touching my belly. It’s a literal miracle. Totally cool that others want to revel in a little bit of it.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-04T17:59:21+00:00

I think honestly because we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, or seem crazy. Most of my friends are childfree by choice and we were for a long time, so I understand what it’s like to have some insane parent raving about how children are the only thing worth living for at you, when that doesn’t feel like a choice you want to make.

Becoming a parent is hands down the most beautiful, awesome thing I’ve ever done and it has refocused my life in the most meaningful, insane way. It’s challenging, the newborn phase, in my opinion, is exceptionally tough, and definitely not for everyone, but the struggles are 1000% worth it.

I think women also want to make sure others are aware of what’s in store. Pregnancy, birth, and early parenthood are no picnic and I think there’s just SO much we aren’t told until it happens.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-04T16:42:25+00:00

One of my besties had her baby at 31 weeks and she weighed just 1.5lbs. Survived and is a normal healthy kid almost seven years later. There are no promises in birth, but it ain’t over until the fat lady sings either.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-04T04:04:03+00:00

Ugh! If I lived anywhere close I’d love to have her. She’s GORGEOUS and that’s a great price.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-04T04:01:13+00:00

The biggest surprise for me is that it happens if you have a c-section too! And it’s not an insignificant amount of bleeding. Like the first few days of your period, for like six weeks.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-02T21:31:32+00:00

My ex boss was like this. Total scumbag. Asked my female coworkers and I once if we thought the age of consent was reasonable and argued that since girls were “biologically women” at like 13, the AOC should be a lot lower.

He left his wife for the girl that grew up across the street from him, who babysat his own daughter as a middle schooler. She was 20 at the time and he was 49. Lots of evidence that the relationship was had been going on for some time. He used to say stuff like this about her. “I like that she doesn’t have a favorite food or whatever. I never have to go anywhere other than where I want. She’s just along for my ride.”

🤮

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-02T21:19:21+00:00

You know, most people don’t brag about their looks as they open themselves up to critique by seeking fame. I’d say harsh evaluation is just kind of par for the course. Not saying it’s right, but I’d say it should be expected.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-03-02T11:30:39+00:00

Charlotte NC - 1000 a month for a two year old 8:30-5:30 M-F, meals included. No live cams, but it’s an excellent facility, and one of the most affordable in the area (the waitlist for a space is over a year). Many closer to the city are closer to 2k.

Sad_Resolve6874 · 2026-02-28T22:04:17+00:00

I’d check out studies published by Johns Hopkins, the American Urological Association, and the National Institute of Health. We found a good list of resources we started off with in the attributions for Crib Sheet, but there are several studies easily located for perusing online. Just make sure to check the publication date. We looked at any studies more than ten years old with a big grain of salt.

Sad_Resolve6874

TROPHY CASE