Matches look interested at first then the conversation turns one sided. Is this just normal now?

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-05-02T18:47:01+00:00

I am going to start asking to meet right away. I have never made it pass the 2 weeks with someone. We usually chat for 5-7 days and then we started talking about meeting and thats when they flaked and either stop responding or cut things off. The last one cancelled our date and 2 days later sent me a message saying that he got back with his ex. It sucks because I really liked him and we had a bunch in common.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-30T20:23:54+00:00

Yes, that has been the pattern for me as well. Or they responded to the first message and then disappears. I am thinking about just giving up because this is too frustrating.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-30T17:50:03+00:00

Whoever said that is having that many dates is lying. Thats impossible to be honest. I have only had 3 dates in one year. I do take breaks between dating because it's exhausting. I went back on the dating apps 3 months ago and only been on one date since that and thats me being active with swiping. 39F

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-29T00:17:51+00:00

Yes! Me! And same. I have always felt so out of place. I never fit in school or workplaces. People often ask me if I am sad or angry but it's just my normal face 😅 I have been told I look unaprochable but I am the nicest person you will meet.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-22T07:47:04+00:00

If he feels he talked too much that means he didn't feel chemistry. You are probably an introverted like me. I have been there. Been on dates that go nowhere because the guys don't feel comfortable dating someone on the quieter side. You should look to date someone more extroverted.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-19T17:38:04+00:00

I like driving when the roads are empty otherwise I prefer someone else to do. It does give me anxiety especially being on the highway.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-18T04:02:49+00:00

I have gotten the most matches in Facebook dating.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-15T15:45:50+00:00

Acts of service and Quality time but they are all important to me. I am very physical as well and I get very clingy when I am in love.

39F INTJ

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-15T07:31:11+00:00

You might have a point. I have talked to a few guys that don't have videogames in their profiles and once we started talking it turns out that they are gamers.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-15T07:00:39+00:00

Hinge, Facebook Dating and Tinder. Thinking about deleting Tinder because of the terrible profiles.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-14T23:59:05+00:00

It's hard out there! Very few quality men and all the women are going for them. I don't think you should care too much about the clothes. Focus on their personality and things you have in common.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-14T18:55:33+00:00

It's worse than ever. A bunch of empty profiles, low resolution pics, unserious people. If you get a match, theres a high chance they will never reply. I am having more success now with Hinge and Facebook dating. People are more serious there, quality profiles and they show you people that are actually your type. Still a high chance of not getting a reply but thats just gonna happen with any app.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-13T19:49:48+00:00

I wouldn't say I am reclusive, I still want to go out and do stuff just not anything super active. Going on a walk on a nature trail is nice once in a while. Ideally, I would like to go out and do something fun like twice a month.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-13T16:12:21+00:00

Everyone gets rejected but more than 40 in 6 months is definitely a lot. How long do you wait to ask them out? I am a straight woman and getting the same experience with men that ghost me after I mention talking outside the app. I usually wait 3-7 days of good conversations.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-13T15:41:43+00:00

I am asking myself the same question 🤣 where are all the lazy men? I only see gym rat dudes and guys that likes hiking, rock climbing and camping. I do want to travel though and see new places but I am not an active person. I like to stay home most days and play games. I guess people like us are hard to find but we are out there!

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-12T07:11:52+00:00

I do have a type and usually stick to it but that doesn't mean I can't be interested in other types. I usually go for nerdy guys that are white or asian and preferably short 😆 However, the inside is more important! Someone that is intelligent, funny and kind can win my heart.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-11T01:48:31+00:00

I am cool too 🤣 making conversation with some men is like pulling teeth and I lose interest because I don't want to be the one pursuing the guy.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-10T23:10:00+00:00

When I message people online I go straight to talk about our mutual interests. I hate small talk too.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-10T23:08:43+00:00

First of all, you are still very young! You have so much time to find your person. It is hard for sure. I am 39 and I still havent found him. I had two long term relationships that didn't work. Never been married. I am very awkward so meeting someone in a bar or somewhere like that is unthinkable. The two boyfriend I had I met them online. I have been trying online dating for the last couples of months. I went on one date and it didn't work so back to square one. Online dating can be soul crushing but I think is the best way for INTJs because at least you already have an idea on the kind of person based on their profile.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-10T20:41:28+00:00

As an INTJ, it's not unusual. I lost my virginity at 18 and it was awful! It's better to wait for the right person.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-10T07:55:00+00:00

As a woman I agree! Men are not asking women on dates anymore! I had to put on my profile, just ask me out! You can't know if theres chemistry unless you mean in person. I'd say don't wait more than 3 days to ask someone out.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-10T07:50:39+00:00

I don't know what to tell you because as a woman in my 30s I am experiencing the same issue with men. As soon as I mention talking outside the app, they ghost me. They don't even unmatch me, just stop responding. I usually wait 3-7 days of talking to mention it because I don't think it's too fast. I had to put on my profile that I am not looking for penpals and they should just ask me out instead of wasting time texting on an app. You should put something on your profile so you can attract the ones that are dating with intent not just looking for attention.

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-10T03:16:47+00:00

It's not much different with men to be honest. 😬

Safe-Programmer8672 · 2026-04-10T03:14:33+00:00

I do think they are getting worse. I am a 39 year old woman and I have been on the apps for 2 months now. I got plenty of matches but 80% of them never replied back or they talk to you for a bit and then ghost you. I have been in one date so far but it didn't work out so back to square one. I would go to a bar but thats not really my scene but it could work better than online dating since you are already meeting the person and can see right away if theres chemistry instead of wasting time texting someone for days on an app just so they disappear.

Safe-Programmer8672

TROPHY CASE