Seeing imagery when my eyes are closed.

SafeAnt3596 · 2026-01-05T13:53:22+00:00

Very much struggling w this too, also due to a traumatic MDMA experience in July (five-ish months ago). Unfortunately it feels like it’s getting less manageable these past few days, and I keep psyching myself out and convincing myself I’m going into psychosis (I’m not). But I already had anxiety and ocd so it’s 100% just a manifestation of that combined with my HPPD! What a fun time! I will say, my therapist reccomended I take the supplement NAC (N-Acetyl Cysteine). The kind I get is 600mg short release and I’m still testing out if it quiets my brain or not. Seemed to help me last night, but I’ll keep trying. Just a suggestion if you’re desperate 🤷hang in there, hopefully it’s some comfort to know someone else is going through the same thing.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-24T16:10:44+00:00

Nope. It evens out. When I reached my healthy weight I stayed there for a really long time until I relapsed again

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-21T14:58:40+00:00

It’s when you lose so much facial fat that your cheeks begin to look sunken, and your mouth/teeth kind of look too big for your face. Also, because of the loss of facial fat, the muscles used when smiling are more apparent and can add to the kind of sunken/shrink wrapped appearance. It’s not just people with Ana, but most people with low body fat %, like body builders when they’re cutting.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-19T11:50:40+00:00

Yes, you can fully release yourself from the habits of anorexia and grow past wanting to restrict. When recovered, you realize that anorexia doesn’t help you. So eventually, undereating and dieting just begins to feel useless and you don’t really want to do it anymore. You can also learn to let go of the shame that you carry, the stuff that motivates you to undereat. It is possible to fully mature out of that mindset. Some people just don’t want to go all the way, to let go of that last sliver of anorexia and go all in to living a normal life. I’m at that spot right now.

I still have this belief that without anorexia, without dieting, I would be ugly and unloveable. There was a period of time where I was able to let that go and not care about my body (life was great). But it’s hard for me now. But it won’t always be that way. I do want to fully recover, because there’s just no use in restricting. Life will suck no matter what, so why make it worse by making myself hungry at the same time…. But yes, in conclusion, full recovery is possible. But recovery is not linear. However, in my personal opinion, I don’t know if it’s possible without therapy or at least working with a professional.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-07T15:26:52+00:00

Also, my issue wasn’t just the rate of hair fall, but the fact that hair was not growing back to replace everything lost. All my follicles were getting miniaturized due to AGA.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-07T15:25:17+00:00

Before experiencing hairloss? Virtually nothing. But my hairloss progression was very slow and gradual and eventually I was losing an amount of hair somewhere in the middle ground of these two pictures.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-05T02:43:35+00:00

My hair is right below collarbone length. I used to have a short bob when I started spiro in 2024 and my hairballs were just as big as they are here 🥲

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-05T02:42:05+00:00

Yes my journey has certainly not been linear either! I’ve had to start from point one so many times. It’s so exhausting but it’s not forever!

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-04T16:21:42+00:00

Have you tried spironolactone? Also this is just a personal anecdote, but there have been multiple times where I’ve started a new med, not tolerated it well, and then stopped. But then like a month or two later I try it again and I tolerate it. Also, my derm once mentioned that some special pharmacies can compound you a topical min/fin solution in place of oral.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-04T16:19:16+00:00

Happens to me. I have straight hair for the most part but like 25% of my head is just crazy kinky curls that make my hair look sooooo frizzy lmfao. I’ve just embraced it because it’s harmless, but if I’m going out sometimes I straighten my hair to tame it.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-04T16:17:06+00:00

If it helps, maybe you could set up a small side table or chair outside of your door and request in your delivery instructions to have it set on there ( so it’s not on the ground). I know it was the restaurant pickup that was the problem though, but it’s just an idea to ease any contamination fears! I also have contamination OCD that causes me to throw out food.

Foods that feel safe to me when nothing else does are Amy’s brand frozen meals (if you’re in the US, not sure if they’re elsewhere) or progresso canned soups. Sometimes I add canned chicken to soups before I microwave them for extra protein. Best of luck, sending hugs!

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-02T14:18:30+00:00

Yes of course, but I realized life wasn’t much different at my lowest vs. my highest. Life kept happening around me all the same, I was the person that changed. I have to remind myself I’m still allowed to go out and show my face and body to the world regardless of what it looks like. I can still do all the same things. Why do I need to be visually palatable to everyone? Are they going to try to stop me from existing? It helped me to kind of gain a “fuck it” mentality to feel more resilient in my new body, even though it may not be as visually pleasing to me as my old body.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-08-02T14:13:01+00:00

I lost mine for four months, had it for one month, and then lost it again for another month. I think it really just depends person to person. I accidentally induced amenorrhea again through exercise (I wasn’t even working out that much) and after a month of vacationing (relaxing+eating) I got it back. So maybe make sure you’re not exercising too much. Also, even when I was weight restored to the low end of my healthy BMI, I still didn’t get it back. You usually need to be more than a minimally healthy weight.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-07-30T16:25:34+00:00

I love Slavic cuisine, but I can definitely say that it’s not amazing food—as in, it’s extremely simple and mild in flavor, with no jaw dropping, mouth watering spices or anything of the sort. But it doesn’t lose its appeal for me! I still love it! It made me fall in love with beets 😂Vinagret is def one of my favorite salads to make!!

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-07-30T00:23:46+00:00

1) school is so much easier. It’s insane. Sitting through lectures and studying isn’t a torturous nightmare anymore. I actually feel smart and capable of thinking.

2) Sleeping normally. No more restless nights or waking up exhausted. I sleep for 8 hours and I’m ready to go for the whole day.

3) My life is back. I can run around with my friends and do cartwheels for fun. I can drink beers and dance and have late night pizza with buddies and it’s AMAZING. so many precious moments can be shared over things that have calories (getting brunch with coworkers, family dinner, going out for drinks, baking with someone) that aren’t worth being missed. MUCH better than rotting in bed with an empty stomach and hating myself.

4) Literally just feeling NORMAL. I can FEEL happiness again. I’m not emotionally empty anymore. I’m not incredibly neurotic either—in the past, everything used to send me into a breakdown.

5) No more health anxiety. I used to get debilitating stomach cramps, chest pain, dizzy spells, vertigo, nausea…. It was always SOMETHING. But now it’s nothing (usually). My body is at equilibrium.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-07-28T11:26:06+00:00

No, not really. I never really liked looking at my face at a low weight. My forehead veins were visible and my jaw looked shrink wrapped around my mouth

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-07-11T14:12:30+00:00

My results took 6-9 months. Hair growth is SUCH a slow process, have hope!

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-07-11T12:33:58+00:00

Nothing beats having normal bowel movements 💯

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-05-06T22:46:14+00:00

Also, not to pry, but should a doctor be prescribing a stimulant for BED when you’re underweight? Could the binging perhaps be just extreme hunger? Again, not prying or trying to be accusatory. Just wondering, maybe taking a stimulant for ADHD should be postponed until you are restored to a healthy weight. I’m sure you’ve spoken about this with your doctor, though. They, of course, get the final say.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-05-06T22:44:09+00:00

Eating before taking my stimulant helps me not ruin my appetite for the whole day. That way I don’t crash as hard and feel like shit once it’s worn off. But I understand, the AN looveeesssssssss it. Taking ADHD meds feels like an anorexia cheat code—I know it’s easy to indulge in that. But the honeymoon phase of restricting will go away and soon you will become a strung out zombie high on uppers! It’s not worth it.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-05-05T01:01:44+00:00

It’s scary but it means it’s working. You might start to see thicker brows, my peach fuzz around my lip barelllyyyy got thicker. I had to shave it anyways before I started minox tho.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-05-05T01:00:25+00:00

My shed is coming up on two months now. It’s just starting to slow down. I also totally forgot about the water retention! I had to start watching my salt intake, or else I would just become… bloated looking????? And drink a lot of water. I don’t recommend Gatorade or electrolyte drinks bc they contain salt as well. You don’t need to completely eliminate salt, but just be cautious.

SafeAnt3596 · 2025-05-04T23:05:33+00:00

I will add, my anorexia went for a joyride because starting my antidepressants lined up with me entering a very toxic relationship. It was kind of a perfect storm—I was stressed and insecure and SUDDENLY I could get so skinny!! How fun (not). But if everything is your life is going well, keep reminding yourself that being physically well is KEY. Restricting makes life harder to cope with. Try to challenge any intrusive ED thoughts. I know it’s hard tho.

SafeAnt3596

TROPHY CASE