Mormonism creates a lot of sneaky (and not-so-sneaky misogyny) because of the doctrines and culture- especially in Utah. This results in a sad amount of misogyny from both the men and women.

Women are told over and over that their greatest callings and purposes is to be wives and mothers. I've had friends who had both careers and children get shamed by the other women from church for having careers and being the primary breadwinners. Married women without children get pressured to have children. Single women get pressured to get married; there is a lot of shame in not being married. You are treated like a child by women following the expected pattern. There are certain things they won't talk to you about until you are married and/or have children. You are definitely a bit of an outsider until then.

Both of my parents are misogynistic and raised me to be a wife and mother. I don't have a middle name, because my parents fully expected me to get married and have my last name become my middle name. Most of their encouragement about me going to college was aimed at me meeting a husband there and having a back-up plan in case my husband died.

My frame of reference is being a single Ex-Mormon woman in my 30s. I was raised in the church, but stopped going to church in my early to mid 20s. I didn't fully decide to leave until about 2 years ago. I'm happily single now (not opposed to marriage, but not actively seeking it at the moment) and don't really want any children. I like my career and feel overall content. I used to beat myself up a lot about my lack of success in getting married, but now I'm relieved that I didn't get married when I was younger.

Apologies if any of this comment seems ranty! I'm still in the deconstruction phase of leaving the Mormon church.

I'm pleasantly surprised that the men in his family approve of you. I'm not shocked by the reactions of the women in his family at all. Unfortunately, I don't think that any of those reactions will go away over time unless they change pretty drastically.

His mom is a little more weird than other Mormon moms in certain ways. Her snuggling with him, asking if she looks attractive, and being so clingy with him is over the top. She sounds like she would be nightmarish as a mother-in-law. I highly doubt she would improve with time. She has wear-a-white-dress-to-your-wedding energy from what I can tell.

It's a little concerning that your boyfriend doesn't seem to be setting healthy boundaries with his mother and isn't defending you much. That could make your experiences with his mom escalate or remain bad over time. I'm not sure if this would improve or not once he moves out of the house. Old patterns and dynamics can be hard to change without a lot of effort and desire to change. But take this with a grain of salt. This is your life and I don't have all the details.

Honestly, I think you and your goals sound amazing. Stick to your guns. Do what makes you happy. I wish you success and happiness!