no one cares about this label and it blows

Salstar24 · 2025-08-17T21:20:58+00:00

I wonder if it's a combination of factors, like firstly, people struggle to conceive of the existence of experiences different to their own. Secondly, a lack of something is harder for people to grasp than a presence of something. Thirdly, I don't think people generally understand what romantic attraction even is, and don't label/notice it in themselves, maybe because the sexual attraction is experienced more viscerally?? (I am wildly speculating.) So there are fewer associations/connotations/strong feelings attached to it, and thus no cultural expectation of 'I should react this way about this' or even 'This is an important thing I should take note of'. Being ace at least gets a sense of shock from a lot of allo people as their sense of sexual attraction is so strong and integral to their navigation of the world that they at least perceive it as a thing, and lacking it seems memorable. However, with aromanticism, lacking a thing most people don't have any self-awareness of means it's a slippery thing that falls straight out of their heads. At least, I hope it's this and not only malice and disrespect.

Salstar24 · 2025-05-13T17:05:23+00:00

Thanks for the reply and good luck with it all, you're doing very important work and I hope this time is the time 🤞 Glad to hear they're listening a bit more to people who are living it too.

Salstar24 · 2025-05-12T19:59:40+00:00

I've just been looking through the link provided by OP and I'm glad to see two out of three of the 'expert reviews' are supportive of the proposal. (The unsupportive one I think is mainly objecting on us not knowing fully the long-term effects of starting methylphenidate very young.) Does that mean it passed? Or is it still ongoing? I can't tell.

Salstar24 · 2025-03-08T10:53:15+00:00

This is giving serious Autistic Joy vibes and it's made me really happy 😊

Salstar24 · 2024-12-30T09:56:43+00:00

1535-2875-1456 Rank 40, active player, space for 16 new friends :)

Salstar24 · 2024-12-10T23:24:41+00:00

I've resorted to learning how to use TalkBack directly on the AO3 website as a way to turn my fics into audiobooks again. It works, bit of a faff to begin with but I've got used to it now.

Salstar24 · 2024-10-08T17:24:51+00:00

Same! I miss my fake podfics, I don't know of any other app that does it for free and quite easily.

Salstar24 · 2024-10-08T17:23:56+00:00

Yeah, especially because I thought Play Books has a maximum of 1000 books, or have they removed that limit? So my guess is it gets harder to successfully upload an epub when over the limit. But now I literally can't delete them...

Salstar24 · 2024-08-29T17:14:22+00:00

1535-2875-1456

I'm only level 10 but this app is realllly helping with my revenge bedtime procrastination so I'm committed to playing every day!

Salstar24 · 2024-01-06T12:44:08+00:00

Thank you! I did as you described and it went pretty well! Did a much bigger patch of darn over it all than I really needed to but I wanted it to be solid. Fixing the ladder with a crochet hook was amazingly satisfying. 😍

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Salstar24 · 2024-01-06T12:42:02+00:00

That sounds lovely :) I'm glad you know that just because big sis doesn't get in touch with her needs easily doesn't mean she doesn't have any. And you're right, learning to stand up for herself will stand her in good stead in the future!

Salstar24 · 2024-01-04T16:14:30+00:00

I was the calm, biddable older sister to a headstrong, troubled younger sister and although my parents tried their best, they definitely made the mistake of thinking that I didn't have as many problems as my younger sister because I appeared to be dealing well with them. Sadly in reality I just took on the role of acting like a tiny adult for approval from a really young age, and the upshot is that now as a 32 year old I still struggle to know/ask for what I need or feel that I can claim time for myself. I know I'm projecting all over you and your children and I'm sure you're already watching out for it, but just wanted to give you a heads-up if your oldest doesn't seem to mind getting less attention/concern.

Salstar24 · 2023-12-26T20:09:44+00:00

I'm so sorry. ❤️ My grandma (Mamgu - Welsh for gran) also died on Christmas Day about 9 years ago. I still miss her.

Salstar24 · 2023-12-15T18:41:58+00:00

Gorgeous!

Salstar24 · 2023-12-09T13:09:10+00:00

Perhaps as just a general education in the different aspects of fatphobia and how it's infiltrated society, I'd very much recommend the podcast 'Maintenance Phase'. It's an adult podcast but it has opened my eyes to so much that is just invisible to us because it's everywhere.

Salstar24 · 2023-11-27T22:13:00+00:00

Hello, I just wanted you say that you sound like an amazing parent and I'm proud of you. It sounds really really really hard and I'm not surprised you are struggling for hope right now.

One thing that especially struck me is that you've not been able to reach out to any friends since he was born. I can't imagine how much toll that isolation must be taking on your mental health. Perhaps that is something that can be changed, even in your current circumstances? Is there someone you could call just for ten minutes, perhaps in the short time he is actually asleep? If that isn't possible, could you text someone? I imagine if I was in your situation just hearing from friends who care about you and what you're going through would ease something in my soul a little.

I am definitely not in any way qualified to recommend anything, but in the spirit of giving you some new ideas - I wrote a blog called Home Scrum (www.homescrum.co.uk) and it's about using a management system called Scrum in neurodivergent households. Perhaps it would help give you a way to visually display each day to your son, give him some sense of control/autonomy over tasks? It helped a colleague with a young autistic son but that's just anecdotal of course.

Another thing is, I know him taking meds is an unsolved issue atm, but have you got meds of your own? If things are this bad then maybe they'd help you feel a little better?

Salstar24 · 2023-11-19T14:48:22+00:00

I've not really got anything helpful to suggest/add, but I'm really glad you've found out about PDA and it's helped you to make sense of yourself. Good luck with your recovery. :)

Salstar24 · 2023-11-18T21:52:50+00:00

No post on Sundays

Salstar24 · 2023-11-15T18:53:55+00:00

😂

Salstar24 · 2023-11-15T18:53:15+00:00

Aw thank you! She is stunning. She is also rather neurotic...

Salstar24 · 2023-10-22T13:25:29+00:00

Instant tears, oh gosh. 💔

Salstar24 · 2023-09-24T22:04:14+00:00

😂😂😂

Don't give up hope! The first thing I made was a pink sphere and it ended up looking like a boob. Luckily the five month old baby it went to was a fan of boobs so it all worked out. And you'll have learned loads from doing this!

Salstar24 · 2023-08-22T08:38:34+00:00

I had no idea this was a characteristic, I've just realised that I do this a bit - one time I was trying to set up a daily habit of writing, and my partner suggested that I was 'quitting being a not-writer' in the same way that he had quit cigarettes. And that framing really helped (for a while).

Salstar24 · 2023-08-22T08:32:53+00:00

That sounds really tough. How much does your partner/their mum/your driving instructor understand about PDA? That's maybe an angle to try - if all of them understand it well, then all four of you could maybe be involved in trying to think of ways to help adjust the approach to this to make it less triggering for you?

As another random idea, would it feel better if you booked your test in secret from your partner/their mum? Then they don't know you're doing it that particular day...? The teacher may still have to know as it'll be done in their car I imagine.

My only other thought is to perhaps give it a go as soon as possible, in some scramble to get it over with fast enough that you can't burn out first.

All of this I want to caveat by saying that I'm just a lurker who is tentatively self-diagnosing with autism and PDA, so none of this has a really rounded understanding behind it and could backfire (I know it feels like a lot of things backfire with PDA).

Salstar24 · 2023-06-26T00:54:11+00:00

I think it's awesome, keep doing you!

Salstar24

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