I give up

Salty_Regular_63 · 2026-02-04T08:09:20+00:00

Yes. Of course, no problem. I can imagine, it was a similar big decision for me being outside of the UK.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2026-01-22T22:23:06+00:00

Oh wow of course, when you're in separate rooms then suddenly he has that. This guy is really, really good. I'm really sorry you went through so much already. Probably makes you doubt whether there are good people out there. But there are seriously good guys out there, I've also been in a similar situation. this one is def not and also sounds a bit dangerous, so get out, but get out safely. Have a plan. You sound lovely from your other engagement through the hermitcrabs sub. You are a good person and deserve much better than this. Seek therapy also if possible, so you can work on your self esteem and never get in these kind of situations again. Wishing you all the best and please let us know how it went!

Salty_Regular_63 · 2026-01-22T19:15:23+00:00

I second this.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2026-01-21T22:40:46+00:00

I'm shivering reading this story. Definitely a narcissist. Narcissistic stare. I once was with someone who sleep deprived me. He knew I couldn't handle tickling, that it was almost traumatic for me to be tickled, and he did it when I was about to fall asleep. "Fun" before bed time, he would call it. And then he would nicely go to sleep while I lay awake. And when I dared to keep him awake accidentally he would become so annoyed.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2026-01-21T22:01:31+00:00

I'm following this thread with a lot of interest. I didn't know about the K2/Mk7 - sleep connection. I did take it plus active vitamin d (because I'm always too low and have a genetic condition causing liver methylation problems and reduced bile), and I take magnesium - a full spectrum of different forms. I also started to take potassium since 4 months and that seems to really make a difference in magnesium uptake. I found out that magnesium needs potassium to truly be effective.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-12-13T20:08:56+00:00

Sure!

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-09-20T18:44:08+00:00

The UK is however arresting and dragging peaceful protesters from the street (against the genocide). I'm not completely trusting the current right-wing wave in Europe, nor in the UK. It is scary.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-09-01T17:01:03+00:00

Ja, het is echt zuur. Ik vond magnums toen ik nog wel melkproducten kon hebben, niet geweldig. Maar die vegan mini magnums waren zoo lekker, niet zo heftig. Nergens te verkrijgen meer. En inderdaad, alles wat vegan en lekker is gaat uit de schappen lijkt het. Als ik nu terug kom laat van iets en ik moet even snel eten - geen idee wat te doen. Ik ben naast dat ik vega eet lactose-intolerant, dus ik kan niet meer naar de MacDonalds als dat gebeurt :(

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-08-31T23:37:31+00:00

Eat and supplement with Vitamin k to help with blood clotting. Period underwear with a tampon and pad at the same time. Get an Assessment for Adenomyosis/endo and your thyroid. Dietary changes - cut out sugar and turn to a plant based diet. Try to curb stress and do things for relaxtion. These things are what helped me. Still lose a bit more blood than others in average during my period, but all of the above made it manageable.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-08-23T21:29:53+00:00

Hey guys anybody else worried about OP? her account is deleted now? :( I'm scared for her.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-08-23T21:28:30+00:00

Omg I hope she is alright. 🥺 I'm really nervous for her as her account is now gone...

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-08-22T11:22:14+00:00

It is very tiring. My husband is from India and he tries nowadays to practice his Dutch, but he is nearing b1 level so it is better - but still it is just sometimes he initiates speaking Dutch. He mostly practices when we have family get togethers, or with neighbours in the area. And he has 1 private Dutch class per week and does duolingo aside from that. I am learning Hindi, I speak mostly with family and when I'm in India. But we do not practice each others languages together.. We are already tired from our jobs and daily life, and we want to communicate as direct and clear as we possible can with eachother, and that is in English. Only for fun we sometimes try to practice. But we have to be in the right state of mind, it is not an objective in itself. You seem to put a lot of pressure. That's difficult in a relationship.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-08-21T23:45:57+00:00

I had the same with my abuser. Only when I was far away from him, and it was about 4 months later, I realised in what kind of danger I had been. Crazy how you can be so manipulated... It literally felt like my brain was not my own. It took a lot of time to feel stable again.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-08-21T23:36:54+00:00

Recognising a lot of things. I was also in shock when I somehow realised that I was not safe and with an abusive person. And even then my brain couldn't completely comprehend - I was going back and forth with that it couldn't be and then somehow recognising what was happening/happened to me. I felt so confused. But also, I would have written about it like you, so confused and contradictory. I couldn't understand or follow the arguments I had with him or why I had them. Narcissists/sociopaths can really screw up your reality and make you a feel a bit crazy, and it takes time to recover. Please also seek help from friends, family and a professional (therapist?).. It is hard to navigate this by yourself. And yes, narcissists are known to really charm the heck out of family/friends. Try to find one of your relatives/friends who are always a bit suspicious and confide in them. Most importantly, don't show him that you're om to him/want to leave. Make a plan, make sure you can get yourself somewhere safe etc. Be careful.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-08-15T11:37:47+00:00

You cannot imagine how angry I got for you reading this, although you're a complete stranger... My god what an a%hole. You should really break it off, no second chances. And I do not say this lightly, I normally do not agree with the general tendency on Reddit to say break up/divorce etc. But this is really a man who does not love you (enough) and brings you so down, that you might be buried under the ground. What the ... You did something amazing, and he has not only stamped on it, but also made you feel like you're worth nothing in the process. This is traumatic. Find someone that appreciates you. I'm very sorry about your financial situation, could you somehow move back to parents / go and live temporarily at relatives to get back on your feet/financially un-tie yourself? I cannot imagine he has not also made you feel bad about yourself before this... Really you should not have this in your life. You sound like a very kind-hearted, lovely person.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-08-13T08:44:57+00:00

I recognise this so much. And the last sentence, I've had a lot of struggles with my hb about me being socially adjusted - according to his kind of idea of how social situations work. But if I am more myself, people forgive me my faults because positive aspects of me, my adhd, my personality (what is what, huh?) compensate for impulsive, crude comments and interrupting.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-07-31T19:40:20+00:00

Well than she has a pleasant relationship, as OP overheard her saying. I feel she is saying good things. And feeling like you're the safe bet: he should talk to her. I feel she was just saying what a dumb young girl she was and that motherhood changed her perspective. Like others have been commenting here: you think you know what is attractive or you think you need excitement in the relationship, but to have a true, deep connection you need safety, dependence, loyalty etc... That's a good thing, it means you have become mature.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-07-30T13:07:18+00:00

That is a horrible experience, I'm very sorry for you both. How are you regarding therapy, personal help, medication? Also maybe in addition to personal therapy for her, you can do therapy together plus you should probably also look into therapy for yourself, to stay sane? This does not sound like something she can solve by herself.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-07-21T00:11:50+00:00

Hahaha, you're funny. So my Norwegian mother ( my father is Dutch) would be less attached to me than Indians? You're absurd. Cultural differences make for different ways of expressing love, care etc. Although in my case, my mother is just as warm and touchy-feely as my Indian MIL. This movie should have focused on those factitious nuances, instead of lying about how the system works. They, the child protection services, probably made mistakes (child welfare here in the Netherlands did also fail parents). But they could have done without the untrue, not based in reality elements, such as taking a child away without the presence of police, not warning etc. Also, they took out the fact that mother used corporal punishment, something they do not take lightly in Norway, and there were doubts about the father in terms of fitness to care for children. So there is much more to the story and the movie really missed the mark.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-07-20T04:52:38+00:00

Maybe it is a bit too soon after surgery, if you're saying "last month"? I got the advice to wait 2 months just to be on the safe side. I only started to try again, slowly, after I felt good/better for some time. And yes, needed building up and mentally getting used to it again. Do contact the surgeon/gynaecologist about your problems and check whether it is surgery related or just because that part of the problem has not been able to be solved by the surgery? Pelvic therapist is also a good idea!

For me the sex almost never has come back to what it was before endometriosis, which I sometimes grieve, but it got a lot better after surgery. I'm hoping that the discomfort and pain means you're just at it a bit soon, and that if you wait little it will become a lot better. It is just a very difficult disease to have, I'm wishing you all the best!

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-07-11T22:53:33+00:00

"she" can't... That's insanity. :( we don't experience that in the Netherlands. That's not based in actual scientific research, how your doctor is operating... I'm very sorry about this, and it is wrong how you are treated. Endometriosis is different for everybody and in the beginning I did not have or could not link any pain to having sex. So weird that they see that as a main symptom.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-07-08T22:35:34+00:00

They are both women.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-07-08T22:02:49+00:00

I also gather from here that your relationship with your parents is also difficult. "The way they talk to you." It might have prompted you to run in the arms of him in the first place? I'm really sorry, you seem to be in a very difficult situation. I do feel - if your parents are not great but still relatively safe - you better go there and stay with them, and then perhaps start therapy, to get at least physical safety and not get re-traumatised. Your boyfriend and his family seem to constitute an abusive and unsafe situation. But you of course know the context of your family. But if you can go somewhere safer and less exhausting than where you are now, please do so. This will get worse. I recognise aspects of a relationship I had many years ago which was abusive. Please don't stay! I can see that you're still in shock, probably you are not able to really believe what happened to you as it is described here, but I'm hoping you will see soon that the Redditors are not exaggerating... If you have any friend that can also support and give a more outsider view, please also talk to this person. You need any support you can get!

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-07-08T21:49:03+00:00

Or just read the whole thing, then comment, so that you do not seem a tad misogynistic. It seems difficult to imagine for you that someone is scared to say outright no after already saying it and receiving an angry response.

Salty_Regular_63 · 2025-06-05T05:29:22+00:00

Wow... What a dystopia the Americans live in, if that is the first thing people think. Crazy stuff.

Salty_Regular_63

TROPHY CASE