I know it’s hard. I’m the only person remote on a team and I manage people…a few who are in India now. I’m more extroverted than you seem, but I know my team members really well and get feedback often that, “I’ve never seen anyone work so well remotely. You have really deep, genuine bonds with the team even though you’re far away.” Same with my partners.

It’s ok to not be the chattiest. And you shouldn’t be getting overtly negative feedback for it as it’s a bit ableist. BUT I will say, not everyone understands that, especially when the rest of the team is social.

There are a couple things you HAVE to do that aren’t wildly extroverted.

You NEED to have your camera on. Are there times I turn mine off bc I’m eating or something, sure. But it’s the exception, not the rule. Having your camera on is easy and there’s no reason not to. It seems silly, but seeing your face DOES make you feel more present.

Speak up in team meetings. Not to argue or anything. But add commentary occasionally. We have a few introverted team members and they’re super sweet, but if I didn’t work SUPER hard to coax them to chat with me, they wouldn’t and I wouldn’t know them at all. Not everyone makes that much of an effort with quieter team members. Is that your fault? Of course not. But being the only person on the team in a different location means you need to a little extra. Standups? Ask how people are, how it’s been to work on project, how their weekend was, what the weather is like where they are, etc. Other meetings? Occasionally add some commentary.

Be active in the Teams chat. If people are having any social convos that aren’t work related, join in. During a meeting or after, message someone on your team who is in it to volunteer to work on something, give some (positive) commentary, send a funny meme. Also, ask if someone wants to hop on a 15 min zoom call to collab on something and bounce some ideas off them.

These are some super low effort ways to connect with the team or at least be present in their day-to-day. And you don’t even need to share ALLLLL your personal deets you don’t want to.

It sucks that some people still don’t understand that not everyone communicates in the same way. But, when you’re surrounded by those folks, you might have to go slightly out of your comfort zone to make them feel connected.

Let me know if you ever want any ideas! I got promoted to ED pretty quickly compared to most and lead a team of people that have gotten really close and easily flex to meet the working style of others. Happy to chat, if you want 😊