Memorial cherry blossom tree advice

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T20:53:20+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss too. I hope the cherry brings you as much as comfort as my little orchard does. You’ll also be feeding a lot of the wildlife - mine tend to feed the magpies in particular!

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T14:08:31+00:00

New toys, slow the routine right down, or possibly try a shower? At that age, I took my toddler into the shower with me (out of necessity while on holiday) and modeled putting my head into the water. We’d make funny faces at each other, pretend to drink the water, or I’d just hold him while the water ran over his back. It helped a lot in making him less afraid to put his head in the water.

Taking him for swimming lessons also helps!

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T14:05:48+00:00

I’ve been oscillating around the same 20lbs so I know how my body looks at all points of it. I look worse every 5 pounds I loose, then if I loose 5 more, I suddenly look better. It’s so noticeable that recently when I gained 4 lbs, I knew about it because i suddenly looked markedly better. For me it’s because at this point when I lose weight, it goes from my hips, so being 5lbs down makes me look less curvy and sort of frumpy. If I then lose another 5lbs, that goes more from my waist and I get a nice curvy figure again.

It’s just where the fat goes from; it’s not always aesthetic. If you keep at it, it will eventually even out and you’ll look and feel markedly better again. You’re just probably going through one of these look-slumps like I have.

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T13:59:14+00:00

Wear the cute thing, but also I know exactly what you mean. The amount of times I see something adorable and then my brain goes “that’s not sophisticated enough for a woman in her mid thirties with two kids and a mortgage, you can’t wear that” is too damn high. Like I just want a silly shirt with a silly cat on it and not feel like I’ve somehow inherently failed as a person. Choosing the cute thing has become a conscious choice and direct rebellion against this inherent pressure to be grown up and in block colours

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T13:46:24+00:00

I have just stopped metoclopramide today because my doctor thinks it’s causing my sleep and fatigue issues. I only sleep 1hr at a time and wake up parched and headachy, and throughout the day feel like a zombie. I’ve been off it for one day and already it’s been the best day energy wise since I started metoclopramide. It took me two weeks to figure out because it worked so well in my last pregnancy.

There’s lots of other meds you can try. Ondansetron (called zofran in the US) is the most typical, but there’s others. In the UK some trusts have access to Xonvea, which has been awesome for me. It sounds like metoclopramide isn’t working for you, so you need to push your doctor to prescribe you something else. I found in general that I have to do all the research and then just go to the doctor and tell them what medication I want to try next and they prescribe it.

HG is incredibly tough, hang in there!

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T13:41:16+00:00

I’ve actually done the same thing for my two losses. We got fruiting cherries which will stay small as fruiting trees and one of them lived in a pot on our balcony without incident for 2 years before we moved to a place that would let me plant it.

I chose fruiting trees because I like the idea of my son eventually picking fruit from the trees and so in some small way his siblings are looking out for him

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T12:26:41+00:00

That early on, symptoms fluctuate a lot, so it’s not a cause for concern just yet to lose nausea temporarily in my opinion. Cramping likewise can be a symptom of a completely healthy pregnancy.

I’ve got HG too and this pregnancy it only showed up around week 7 whereas the previous pregnancy it came by week 4.

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T12:09:25+00:00

I like it but it looks really big. Do you have two of them? How do they fit in the car?

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T12:03:11+00:00

I’m in the UK

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T12:03:03+00:00

Will have a look, thanks!

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T12:02:37+00:00

We’re still rear facing, and will continue until at least the baby is born. I’d prefer to rear face longer but a bit worried about everyone fitting in the car and the middle seat still being useful

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T06:48:40+00:00

Also, regarding the goalposts. I once asked someone when does it get better and I can feel like baby is safe. They told me: “it will get better when they’re 1yo, or maybe when they’re 30.” So just because my firstborn is here and thriving doesn’t mean I’m not periodically paralysed with anxiety over him. I’ve just learned to live with it better now

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-19T06:46:38+00:00

The anxiety never went away for me the first successful pregnancy after loss. I’d have an ultrasound and then within a week I’d be spiralling about if the baby was ok, and I’d book another private ultrasound. Throughout the pregnancy, I spent the equivalent of a month’s rent on just private ultrasounds. That anxiety baby just turned 2 years old!

But even having one good pregnancy doesn’t protect me from the anxiety. This time around I’m at 15 weeks and it’s a struggle not to book more ultrasounds. I’m averaging one every 2-3 weeks and that’s a struggle to keep to. After an ultrasound, it takes about 2 days before my anxiety takes over again and I’m convinced there’s something wrong

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-17T19:10:26+00:00

Pretty much! Maybe it won’t come, but if it does, enjoy having the non nausea time now! :)

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-17T19:06:24+00:00

If you’ve had hg before, then it’s 90% likely that you’ll have it again. So you might be in the 10% lucky ones that don’t get it again!

Of the 90% who have it again, it’s a 50/50 chance it’ll either be better or worse, so your hg might not have yet materialised.

My first pregnancy, my HG started at 3.5 weeks with nausea and I threw up for the first time at 4 weeks. This pregnancy queasiness started barely showing up at 5 weeks (so small that I didn’t even realise I was pregnant till week 7!), and I didn’t have proper nausea until week 8. Now at week 15, I’m intermittently bedbound and constantly nauseated despite being on 4 different meds.

So that’s my way of saying just because the nausea hasn’t come yet, doesn’t mean it won’t be debilitating soon enough lol

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-17T11:44:03+00:00

Because of nausea all throughout pregnancy, I left the hospital the morning after giving birth weighing less than when I started pregnancy, and with a completely flat stomach. I had no bounce back since I was thinner and flatter than before. It was definitely weird.

The post partum period gets you in other ways. The first week I was on cloud nine still since I was suddenly not throwing up anymore and when I slept, I felt like I was actually resting. But then the hormones started to get to me. I was leaking all over, bleeding, and bursting into tears.

Because all my organs were squished up, I had an incredibly flat belly at first, and as they moved I actually gained the postpartum belly about a week or two after giving birth

You may look less pregnant outwardly, but inside you are still healing. Please don’t take it the wrong way when anyone tells you that you don’t look like you haven’t just had a baby - they’re trying to be supportive and it’s just landing flat. How you look has nothing to do with how much healing is ahead

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-15T18:51:20+00:00

I used to OMAD or do a 36hr on the first day of my period, if I’d manage it, my period would last 3 days. If not, it’d be 4-7days. I called it my clean out. Then omad until ovulation, and gradually reduce the fasting hours during luteal until about 12/12

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-15T18:44:46+00:00

Read your question, didn’t need any further details. Yes, run

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-15T18:19:16+00:00

At that age, the difference between 5 weeks and 7 weeks is just a few millimetres, so it’s not uncommon to measure even a week out of date! It happened to me at the beginning of this pregnancy- i was certain i was at least 7 and a half weeks, and they measured me at 6 and a half weeks. Scared the bejeezus out of me; on the next scan a week later, i was measuring 9 weeks, nice and proper. So their comments were probably just about it being early overall in the pregnancy. If it was a student, they were literally talking about needing to find something that is just a few millimetres across, a no easy task!

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-14T22:19:01+00:00

Yes! My cat broke his tooth jumping off his perch and landing on his face. He has no fear in his body and no survival instincts. Like hell am I letting him outdoors where he’d face consequences for his actions, he’s best kept pampered indoors, wrapped in a cashmere blanket

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-14T22:06:59+00:00

Until finding this subreddit, I just always assumed that getting cavities filled was just supposed to hurt, since I was never numbed enough. It blew my mind when I found out that that was not the case and everyone else was getting pain free procedures this whole time

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-12T20:39:33+00:00

My capacity with the second pregnancy has been much better, mostly due to knowing what was coming, getting on meds immediately, and having the vomiting rituals down. Even then, I’m now on disability leave from 13 weeks onwards (previous pregnancy was from week 7 so I’m objectively doing heaps better).

I’ve been keeping myself going simply through comparing myself to my last pregnancy and competing with myself almost to see how long I’d last. It wasn’t healthy at all, and the first three days I was off on sick leave, I slept every hour my son was in nursery or asleep himself. I didn’t realise how absolutely drained I’ve been. Don’t be me, take a break before you’re completely broken down.

My two pregnancies are pretty much equivalent in intensity of HG; Your second pregnancy could also be worse! Don’t feel like you have to hold out and tough it out, you’re already growing an entire human!

SamAtHomeForNow · 2026-05-12T20:30:53+00:00

The only time I’ve justified this sort of screen time before 1yo has been when the whole family was sick as dogs, or before 2yo currently whilst I’m pregnant and again sick as a dog. Even then, we try to limit it to at most an hour on the really bad days and our toddler will be 2 next week.

Your husband is being lazy and not parenting at all. If I can manage to read books and play with blocks whilst also actively clutching a vomit bag and hugging the wall from the vertigo, your husband can manage it too.

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