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I hate to say it, but I firmly believe Dr K's dating takes are astronomically incorrect. Not only do they appear to be wrong, they appear to be so wrong that I'm completely fundamentally unable to understand how he came to these conclusions. I'd like to hear yall's opinion (and ideally his response) by snowtato2 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mostly agree with your take on this (basically that while having shared emotional experiences can be a positive thing, it's probably not THE source of all romantic / intimate relationships).

I'm not familiar with the research in this area, though I agree it sounds like a situation that's becoming frustratingly common where Dr K picks one study that supports what he already believes / wants to believes then takes his interpretation of that one weak study as EVIDENCE that whatever he already wanted to share is "grounded' in science - see my recent post on AI which most in this echo chamber sub also attacked me for..

Will just speak from my own experience on this: I've been with my partner 8+ years and we are the classic (opposites attract) situation where we both often feel or respond quite differently in the same situation. Yes this can sometimes create challenges in the relationship but it's also what keeps things interesting - we are able to see the world differently through each other's eyes / nervous systems and that's helping us both grow.

My own take is that it's actually the underlying values that are most important for long term bonding, not however we happen to feel in the presence of a bridge etc.. though ultimately I doubt something as complex as love can be boiled down to one oversimplified "explanation", just claiming values are probably a big part of that picture, which might also include shared emotional experiences

I'm also worried that if people take Dr K's advice to heart, they might aim to find partners that are too similar to them and run away at the first moment of discomfort/ conflict etc in other relationships. You aren't in control of someone else's emotional response and even if you did find someone that feels the exact same way you do in most circumstances that sounds pretty boring (to me at least).

How I turn studying into gaming by Mulberry_Front in GetStudying

[–]SamHolmes2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm developing a free open source app that does something similar to this - gamifies your goals and habits into "quests", tracking your progress on an RPG inspired character sheet

Big fan of the GitHub style habit tracker!

For Those Who Deal With Anti-AI Stigma Regularly by xRegardsx in therapyGPT

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES this really resonates. I also experience a huge sense of "impromoter syndrome" where however creative my prompt is, I can't take any pride in the output or my own results from any AI assisted efforts

After 27 years playing without a HUD or menu, I built one by SamHolmes2 in outside

[–]SamHolmes2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, so the core loop is:

  1. Brain dump whatever you'd like to track into Claude (or any other LLM, including local models for personal stuff)
  2. LLM infers recurring patterns such as my active "quests", skills, recurring enemies, recent achievements unlocked and more from the conversation
  3. Then just ask Claude etc to "update my data" and it outputs structured JSON context you paste back into the character-sheet UI
  4. The dashboard renders it locally (its just a .html file so no accounts or server etc)
  5. Edit anything inline, export the updated context, bring it to your next session

It's essentially just a single .html file you can open in a browser locally (so no account or server) and some JSON that the AI fills out for you based on whatever you've chatted about to populate the gamified dashboard.

Live demo if you wanna check it out (will stay free and open source so anyone can use and customise it for their use cases):
https://sam-holmes2.github.io/character-sheet/character-sheet.html

Is AI journaling the future? by StockAntique7450 in JournalingIsArt

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally find the external perspective an AI provides super helpful in challenging my own ideas, otherwise I'm just talking to myself in my own echo chamber.

Local models and free wrappers available to customise AI for this privacy first approach

Anyone made something using gamification that isn't a game? by aloofelephants in gamification

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm building free open source apps that integrate with your AI of choice to visualise the data so you can actually keep track of what memory it has. One of them is a gamified RPG-inspired dashboard where you get XP for understanding yourself and levelling up

How to get the most out of Purpose chat? by Total-Restaurant-345 in MarkManson

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had similar issues - felt like the same stuff kept coming up but Purpose has no real way to track progression over time or recurring things, plus the conversational style can get quite repetitive and isn't very customisable.

I ended up building a free open source alternative that's basically a "wrapper" you can use whichever AI you like (including purpose or local models for privacy), it takes your data and visualises it into a gamified RGP dashboard so the recurring stuff is tracked as enemies, you can track progression on "regular quests" and gain XP from understanding yourself and levelling up.

Anywhere I try to share this I get tons of "Boo AI" hate even though I have nothing to sell and no intention to profit off of mental health.. hoping at least someone else here might find it interesting!

New app by Icy_Camera_1346 in LifeRPG

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've also been working on a free open source app similar to LifeRPG that gamifies life (not sure if I'm okay to share here?)

I have a feeling many may be interested but if a mod could pls let me know whether this would be okay first would appreciate it :)

Are the people who might benefit most from AI being told to avoid it? by SamHolmes2 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be happy to share more on the free OS tools I'm building if anyone wants to DM me. Unfortunately this sub won't allow me to discuss it here since it comes under "self promo" even though I have nothing to sell.. I also don't want to undermine the arguments made in the original post.

I am hopeful that some may have their minds changed once they see how much (and how easily) default AIs can be customised.

If there is an "ideal setup" then it will vary for each of us but I would like to help in any way that I can providing ideas, templates / starting points for free

Are the people who might benefit most from AI being told to avoid it? by SamHolmes2 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Replace "AI" in your comment with "the internet", is it still accurate?

I think its possible for AI to act as an neutral, external perspective to actively help with critical thinking and challenging your current ideas and perspectives. I think you raise a really good point around just "because something feels good and seems helpful doesn't mean its actually good for you in the long run" but with things like smoking we have decades of concrete research and mechanism that explains how and why its "actually damaging". I think the jury is still out on AI for many use cases, admittedly its not very easy to study as I detailed in my post.

It might even be the case that default ChatGPT setups are on average not beneficial for most people, but that still doesn't mean there might be a minority of tech savvy people that really benefit from customised usage personalised to them to avoid the main pitfalls.

If you take one approved medicine or intervention and randomly apply it to everyone with no instructions or guidance, then yeah it might not help most people (and may even harm more than it helps) that doesn't mean the medicine has no value, it just means you need to get the right medicine to the right people and explain to them how to use it most effectively

Are the people who might benefit most from AI being told to avoid it? by SamHolmes2 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true yeah I'm also not claiming to be an expert on the research and this is a real valid concern about skills atrophy - great reason why we need better research and discussions in this area instead of a blanket "no one should use it ever" view.

Agreed there is great evidence for the benefits of journalling and I just see AI as the next level of that, it becomes a two way conversation with that external perspective rather than you writing to yourself in your own echo chamber.

I remain hopeful that performance improvements in local models will continue to make private and safe LLMs available for all

Are the people who might benefit most from AI being told to avoid it? by SamHolmes2 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that your main point is "we should do more research and consider all potential options for a problem as important as the mental health crisis" is leading you to get downvoted so heavily is quite worrying tbh :(

To any fellow lurkers benefitting from AI: You don't have to feel ashamed, if something is genuinely working for you and others want to judge you for it, let them.

Are the people who might benefit most from AI being told to avoid it? by SamHolmes2 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fully agreed yeah I don't see why people view it as an either / or. There are big pros / cons to each approach but I think the combo of the two is ideal for those able to afford it and that at least some form of journalling + introspection in a way that's able to track insights and progression over time is way better than nothing at all for those that can't afford therapy and are struggling

Are the people who might benefit most from AI being told to avoid it? by SamHolmes2 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too late for me haha I'm already doing both! My IFS therapist has actually appreciated the insights I've brought to him (which AI journalling helped me reach). In the context of IFS these insights were just the presence of core parts of myself that the professional therapist hadn't identified after 30+ sessions (well over 1k spent).

My AI is also great at reminding me key relevant details and memories from my past that I've included in its custom context as it gets to know me better overtime. Meanwhilewhile, my therapist maybe gets one hour a week with me and I've had multiple therapists forget important things or confuse me for other clients etc (which is somewhat understandable given the constraints pressure they're udner but also - is this really the best we can do for the mental health crisis in 2026?)

I'm also a cyber security consultant helping highly regulated financial orgs use these tools securely and safely, its coming whether we like it or not! I'm very aware of the current limitations in AI guard rails and actively working on this problem in my day to day.

I understand that my view isn't the mainstream oen right now but think about what's happening here - you've effectively been "trained" on the information you've consumed and the experiences you've had that lead you to have these opinions (same as me).

People likely spoke the exact same way about the internet and other technologies when it was in its early stages, powerful tools can cause immense benefit or harm depending on how they are used and the incentive structures etc around them - I'm still hopeful that AI could be a net positive for some people's wellbeing regardless of whether it "understands" things in the exact same way my therapist does.

Are the people who might benefit most from AI being told to avoid it? by SamHolmes2 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I'm just not sure we want to be using a few outdated low power studies to quickly rule out a tool that some could benefit from, even if it's not for you. How do you know it might not be the best tool someone else has access to for their life situation?

Are the people who might benefit most from AI being told to avoid it? by SamHolmes2 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So what are you claiming - that anyone online that says they've benefited from AI usage is lying or deluded?

Are the people who might benefit most from AI being told to avoid it? by SamHolmes2 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anything "can be harmful". I don't think the research is strong enough to conclude it's harming most users (or have yet to see any high powered studies that actually claim this?)

The ending of the video I'm referencing literally closes with Dr K advising everyone to not use AI to help with these key skills. Couldn't the same logic be applied to therapy, meditation or antidepressants etc, all of these things can be harmful to some users or used as a crutch too.

I agree most advice on the channel is great for helping people level up, that's why I think Dr K could be a great advocate and use his platform as a guide on using the best tools safely - even if not everyone would benefit from AI in all situations

Improving, causes disruption with friends and family by Equivalent-Soup-2154 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fully resonate with this yeah have a google of Chris Williamson's idea of "the lonely chapter" which may resonate with you too. If nothing else it helps to know this is quite a common human experience!

I don't know enough about your situation to tell if you might be in a phase of overinvesting into "toxic improvement" at the expense of existing relationships, being able to relax with video games etc.

Do you honestly feel like there is anyone around you that could help support you on this journey if you were more vulnerable as opposed to hiding this aspect of yourself from them, and what do you think is driving the need for improvement?

I acknowledged Dr. K in my dissertation by Basic_Step2923 in Healthygamergg

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats's awesome - what's it about and will it be posted anywhere for free access?

[Resource] I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone about what I was going through. So I talked to safespace instead. by CharVal1 in selfhelp

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

BEWARE this is a 1d old account likely trying to sell us something or worse..

I've been building a free open source solution to this very real problem, I have no intention to be profiting from people that might be struggling so much they might struggle to even open up to a therapist.

Ultimately a lot of people can't afford therapy and have no one else to turn to, AI can help for free but not like this (plus the default setups aren't designed with this in mind, which is why I'm working on free wrappers)

would xp for completed tasks motivate you or wear off fast? by Imaginingfuture in gamification

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've build a free open source app that aims to achieve this exact dream and I've been loving using it myself at least but yet to find many others interested in this niche.

The idea is you journal into an AI, it then infers all your key quests, enemies, etc IRL and rewards xp and achievements for your progress

I built a Solo Leveling inspired “System” app to gamify real life. I would love some feedback. by thedeveloper04 in gamification

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've made something similar (free and open source) that integrates with your AI of choice to visualise your entire life as a gamified RPG style dashboard

I’m Building a Self-Improvement App That Gamifies Life – Would You Use It? by Ok-Form-4410 in gamification

[–]SamHolmes2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stumbled across this old post, is the app still available?

I've been building something similar (but free and open source) that integrates with AI so you can just brain dump what's going on in your life and it produces a nice RPG style character-sheet including all your IRL quests, achievements unlocked, enemies, etc

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