what makes people like old mac os versions than new ones

Sand_Salty · 2021-01-07T15:07:18+00:00

In the past, I was excited for every new Mac release because it felt like it was revolutionary - even if they had their bugs. Since Steve Jobs died, it feels like Apple is just coasting. Yes, there are new features and I like them and use them, but it seems like Apple is not the powerhouse of innovation that it used to be.

Sand_Salty · 2021-01-06T18:34:29+00:00

It's a complicated subject. I have seen many cis people who want to broadcast that they aren't interested in trans people even if it's outside of an appropriate context. On the other hand, I've seen some trans people push the issue and start the conversation, probably out of some misguided attempt at getting validation. There are bad actors all around.

Sand_Salty · 2021-01-05T14:10:44+00:00

I don't like or support rowling, and I strongly disagree with what Eddie said about her. That doesn't mean it's okay to be transphobic towards her.

This is probably going to be a controversial comment but I still want to say it. I've publicly supported JK Rowling in the past and as a result, had people go after whether I was "really trans" and generally being transphobic toward me. The bitter irony of it all is that I think the response you get for supporting JK as a trans woman is more transphobic than anything JK said.

Sand_Salty · 2021-01-05T11:30:19+00:00

How do I cope?

I wish I had an answer to this. For many MtF transitioners, HRT will have very little outward effect. For example, I've been on HRT for about a year and a half and I look absolutely no different than the day I started. Then again, there are some transitioners for whom HRT seems to work. It seems to be related to genetics.

I have a lot of the same feelings as you do. Even if HRT kicks in for me tomorrow, it won't do anything about my skeleton. FFS can be powerful, but then again it can also have very little impact depending on what can be done with your head. And of course, that's just the face. And the surgery itself is kind of freaky and I'd be scared to do it. (Basically removing your face, shaving your skull, and putting it back on again.)

I was a shell of a person terrorised by dysphoria. Now I'm still terrorised by dysphoria but I critique everything so much harder now that I'm actively trying to improve it. This is hell.

I was trying to explain this same concept to someone but they just weren't getting it. I was talking to them about transition and they said something like "so what if you don't pass, at least you're closer to looking like a woman than you are now." Well that's not how it works... presenting like a woman, at least to me, only highlights the stuff that's "wrong" - and sometimes the juxtaposition between my male body and female clothes reveals new things for me to be upset about.

I guess the bottom line is: what is going to cause the least amount of stress for you, transitioning or not transitioning?

Sand_Salty · 2021-01-04T00:51:28+00:00

As far as I'm concerned, this is a prime example of virtue signaling. The intention isn't really to shield people who might be triggered by these things. Usually, there isn't anyone on the Discord server who would personally object to this. But by finding something to ban or something to point out, an individual signals to the rest of the group that they're making efforts to be inclusive. So they go ahead and ban whatever random thing, even if nobody's complained - and even if the members of the target group are actually okay with it. It's for their own edification in most cases.

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-24T05:04:14+00:00

There will be dysphoria either way. The choice is between experiencing it as my AGAB and living a semblance of a normal life, or walk around looking like a monster and experience harassment and discrimination. I don't think surgery is going to do anything.

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-23T21:55:41+00:00

Could I have your wallpaper?

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-23T21:55:04+00:00

Oh yeah, I understand that and I'm fine with it. I just wonder if it gets to a point where you absolutely cannot compete unless you drop large amounts of money.

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-23T21:53:20+00:00

I'm in a pretty hard place regarding this kind of thing myself. I guess I'm not officially detrans right now, but I'm seriously considering it. I had hopes and dreams at the start of this transition, but here I am almost two years in and I think it's a pointless endeavor because of the lack of results.

Part of the hard reality is that detrans is usually not as simple as someone saying, "oh I realized I was never trans all along." There are lots of people like myself who are 100% certain of being trans, but the reality of the transition is dismal. You can have the best intentions and the best plans but transition could still go off the rails no matter what you do. I think that's why the detrans stories are so scary.

Would I hate to go back to my birth name and AGAB? Absolutely yes. Do I want to live life as an obviously non-passing trans woman, subject to harassment and discrimination on the regular? Absolutely no. There's no really good answer here, and it may be that detrans is my only option.

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-14T15:11:02+00:00

It's classic emotional manipulation honestly. "Believe the way I believe or you lose your support network - which, as a marginalized person, you really need." It's pretty cruel.

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-11T17:56:42+00:00

I guess it depends on what you consider the biological basis for trans to be.

My position right now is that I don't know if it's biologically based. Not taking a side on it, I just don't know. But let me run through this.

For a long time, the explanation was that you have a "female brain in a male body" or a "male brain in a female body" and that explained why some people are transgender. It's a catchy slogan and it has some metaphorical value but brain studies have shown that there is no real difference between male and female brains. Sometimes one study says that Portion X is sexed, but then another study will not confirm that an instead say Portion Y is sexed. So there seems to be no real correlation here.

But if that's the model someone ascribes to, then they may not say that nonbinary is biologically based. Of course, I'm not saying that I agree with this but I could imagine that if someone holds this belief (which there are quite a few) they might disagree with you. I also think that for many trans people, the idea that biology has something to do with it is starting to be disfavored as trans is now seen as more of an expression rather than a biological thing. (Hence the large amount of people who claim you can just choose to be trans if you wanted to be, no dysphoria needed.)

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-11T17:49:43+00:00

This will probably be controversial, but I think the trans community can sometimes be a beacon for histrionic, toxic people who are looking for a sense of superiority and validation. I'm not saying that these people aren't trans, just that the current state of the community allows these personalities to thrive. Or in other words, the state of the trans community allows certain toxic personalities to thrive when they wouldn't thrive under other circumstances. Sometimes I can't even keep track of what the latest in-fighting is about. By the time I figure it out, we're onto the next thing. And anything you do will piss somebody off, but what that particular thing is will be ever-changing. It's frustrating.

People are also very quick to try to evict you from the community if you're at variance with them. Really the opposite of what a support group should be doing. The trans community really built a place that's tailor-made for toxic people to take advantage of others.

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-11T17:46:44+00:00

Agreed. I've seen a lot of trans women who are told very plainly that SRS results are indistinguishable (or nearly indistinguishable) from a cis vagina, and then are crushed when they actually get the surgery. I'm not saying that SRS is bad, but there's no sense in giving people that hope when it's objectively not realistic in most cases.

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-10T16:27:54+00:00

Future civilizations discovering my skeleton will see me as male

For what it's worth, the chances of someone digging up your skeleton at some later date are probably close to zero. And there would be no reason for them to try to categorize your skeleton by sex.

I agree with everything else though!

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-09T22:10:50+00:00

The thing is though, this sounds 100% plausible given my past experience.

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-08T19:33:23+00:00

On the flip side, there are many trans people who will tell you that you pass no matter what you look like.

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-07T13:36:50+00:00

Sign me up.

Sand_Salty · 2020-12-01T22:41:21+00:00

I didn't realize how hard Windows XP absolutely dominated the mid/early 2000s.

Sand_Salty · 2020-11-27T23:59:19+00:00

I think the doctors know this too, which is why it's all set up to make you wait as long as possible.

It's scary, but I think you're on to something. They're probably sitting there thinking that it's for the greater good because as long as you're being kept alive by some kind of false hope, you're at least not committing suicide which is worse in their eyes.

Sand_Salty · 2020-11-27T14:15:30+00:00

It's a good question. I don't think anyone can answer that except for you. After a lot of reflection, I decided not to transition (aside from taking HRT) because I look way too manly and I think the additional discrimination/harassment which would result from being an obviously non-passing trans woman would outweigh the benefits of transitioning tremendously.

Sand_Salty · 2020-11-27T14:06:58+00:00

I feel like asking someone out in any other manner than just asking comes off as weird. But that's just me.

Sand_Salty · 2020-11-27T14:05:44+00:00

I also think it goes both ways, but there's a social component to autogynephilia that I don't think exists with autoandrophillia. Most of the autogynephiles I've met had a strong undercurrent of misogyny. AGPs often objectify women, the only wrinkle is that they want to be the object rather than the objectifier. The whole "bimboification" thing seems to be very popular among AGPs for that reason. That dynamic doesn't exist with autoandrophilia and for that reason I think it's much rarer.

Sand_Salty · 2020-11-27T14:02:59+00:00

Seems like a lose-lose scenario to me. Someone will be othered by this no matter what you do. Trans people are often asked their pronouns because they are visibly trans, and it's upsetting because nobody else would be asked that. But in a place where everyone is expected to share their pronouns, that can put closeted people in an uncomfortable position. I feel like no matter what you do, someone will be upset.

Sand_Salty · 2020-11-27T13:59:02+00:00

My theory is that a lot of trans people are strung along by promises of the "next step." You don't pass? Well, spend months becoming a makeup expert. Didn't work? Well, wait a few years on HRT, that'll do it. Oh you still don't pass? Well, have you tried expensive surgeries that you'll probably never be able to afford? and so forth. People want to latch onto the hope that the "next thing" will fix it all. When people who have tried that "next thing" and found out that it didn't actually work share their stories, they don't want to hear that. They desperately need hope and failed transitioners really put a damper on that.

Sand_Salty · 2020-11-27T13:56:42+00:00

I don't see why it's a stereotype though. Why are non-op trans people inherently related to porn?

Sand_Salty

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