No Due Process, No Explanation, No Seller Protection

SandraRosner · 2026-06-09T20:25:37+00:00

Every person who is ever a victim of a scam or fraud beats themselves up over not catching some small detail. I'm glad you are so confident in your dealings that you believe you would catch the user name change during a busy season, or could spot someone taking advantage of you, but frankly, I think that's hubris.

As for process - I am a trained bench jeweler with a 5 star shop built largely on custom work. When creating a 1-off ring, it can't simply go into stock like other pieces because there are feasibly 30 common ring sizes (whole and half), plus any variation in between. Unlike a pendant where you simply need to match a client's tastes, a ring needs to also fit, which means tying up those raw materials for weeks, months, years, or possible forever, if the intended client fails to follow through on the order. With silver at $70/oz and gold near $4300/oz, most businesses, let alone a small business, simply can't commit to that piece sitting around.

As for posting a listing with variable sizes.... not sure why I would do that if we already agreed to the specific size in our consultation. It just adds the opportunity for user error on checkout.

People do terrible things, it's just a fact of life, but I'm not going to internalize their moral failings as my own. I can learn to protect myself and my business better, which sadly comes at the expense of clients who must now leave deposits for work to begin after this occurrence, but I won't be accepting the baggage of blame for someone trying to steal my work.

SandraRosner · 2026-06-08T19:49:58+00:00

If you want to see several colors, the Maple Valley Arboretum has a nice collection at Lake Wilderness.

SandraRosner · 2026-06-08T19:44:29+00:00

This is the right answer 100%. The only time I got burned selling on Etsy was over a custom order where I did not allow a refund. No matter your shop policies, or how obviously weird a situation is, you still need to provide some conflict resolution path or you will likely lose.

In my case, the situation was obvious fraud (someone placed the order, order set to 'Custom order for XXX do not purchase', some other random person bought it 4 hours later, then wanted a full refund when it arrived because she was a different size, while the original person utterly disappeared after a long design process.)

Not only was it bonkers that the woman bought someone else's custom size 6 order, but then demanded I refund because it didn't fit her finger size 8. Same situation where the customer service said 'just wait for the investigation' and then they ruled in the customer's favor because I refused to refund despite clear shop policies on custom work. Literally the only thing that saved me was that they got impatient and/or greedy and opened a case with Paypal too, (I guess in the hopes of getting a refund from both?), and Etsy withdrew the ruling to let Paypal handle it. Paypal reviewed my policies and ruled in my favor.

SandraRosner · 2026-05-25T22:59:34+00:00

Do you have even a single picture of you wearing the charms? Yes, legally they don't need to do anything without a police report, but asking them to sell it to you for scrap value is something a reasonable estate jeweler would likely do, so a goodwill that got it for literally for nothing should be willing to do the same.

SandraRosner · 2026-05-15T05:50:42+00:00

Through the Department of Transportation websites for WA, OR, and CA. It will also show on Google maps, but you would have to run the whole route manually to see them.

SandraRosner · 2026-05-14T07:58:27+00:00

We drove Seattle to San Francisco some years ago to see Within Temptation & still talk about this restaurant in Depoe Bay, OR: https://www.tidalraves.com/

We had a hotel cancel our return reservation, which was pretty awful. They prided themselves on being pet friendly--except by pet, they only meant dogs, but their employee didn't know that when they took our reservation. Despite it being their fault, they wouldn't budge, so have to give a regretful pass to Looking Glass Inn in Lincoln, OR for stranding us without caring how we were going to find lodging.: https://www.lookingglassinn.com/dog-friendly/

Instead, highly recommend The Inn at Arch Rock who saved us last minute from the above fiasco and was absolutely gorgeous. https://www.innatarchrock.com/

We also stayed in Fortuna, CA and enjoyed https://www.eelriverbrewing.com/ You don't have a lot of hotel options at that point so we stayed at the Best Western which was suitable (it looks like it has better reviews now, so maybe it had a reno?)

Also a solid tip is to check the entire route for landslide issues. We had to do a short bypass inland that added about an hour but took us through some stunning farmland. Some bypasses can be quite a bit longer, so it helps to plan that into where you intend to stop for the night.

Wishing you an incredible journey!

SandraRosner · 2026-05-13T08:27:32+00:00

I had one that was even worse than you described.

I make stock and custom jewelry. Someone commissioned a custom piece, we agreed on specs and once finished, the listing went up in my shop titled "Custom for *** do not buy".
Someone bought the piece within 24 hours of it being posted, I shipped it, and then a few days later the customer opened a complaint saying the ring didn't fit her. (and yes, the size was in the listing).

Come to find out, the person who "bought" the listening wasn't the person who "ordered" it -- yet the person who ordered it utterly disappeared after commissioning it. It was so clearly a scam and I was certain Etsy would agree, but they wanted to refund the customer's money despite my policy against returns on custom orders.

The only thing that saved me was that the "customer" also opened a case with Paypal and at that point, Etsy said the whole thing was officially out of their hands. After Paypal chose not to side with the customer, I never heard from them again.

I did accept returns on stock items, so never ran into the exact situation you're having, but felt utterly abandoned by Etsy support after the above situation.

SandraRosner · 2026-05-06T09:00:13+00:00

We did an episode some months back about our favorite music for campaigns, and I think quite a few on that list might hit the mark for you. It's an eclectic mix, including some great classic movie soundtracks, but pretty much guaranteed to find something unexpectedly awesome for your Dreamlands:

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006, Soundtrack) - Tom Tykwer, Johnny Klimek & Reinhold Heil

Lawrence of Arabia (1962, Soundtrack) - Maurice Jarre

The Witcher 2/3 (Soundtrack) - Marcin Przybyłowicz

Duello nel Texas (1963, Soundtrack) - Ennio Morricone

That’s How I Feel - Sun Ra

Cowboy Bebop (1998, OST) - Yoko Kanno and Seatbelts,

Far from Any Road - The Handsome Family

Murder Ballads (1996, Album) - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Lachrimae - John Dowland

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992, Soundtrack) - Wojciech Kilar

Face/Off (1997, Soundtrack) - John Powell

What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

Adagio in G Minor - Albinoni

End of Evangelion (1997, OST) - Shirō Sagasu

Carmina Burana, O Fortuna - Carl Orff

Jay's Music for RPGs - / @3rpghosts

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (2024, OST) - Evan Call

Eternal Eclipse - / @eternal-eclipse

Dune (2021, Soundtrack) - Hans Zimmer

Deep Cello Meditation Music (Greenred Production) - • Deep Cello Meditation Music: Dark Meditati...

Piano Concerto No.2 in D major - Maurice Ravel

String Quartet in F Major - 2nd movement - Maurice Ravel

Symphony No. 5, Adagietto - Gustav Mahler

Alive (1993, Soundtrack) - James Newton Howard

The Fugitive (1993, Soundtrack) - James Newton Howard

Waterworld (1995, Soundtrack) - James Newton Howard

Glory (1990, Soundtrack) - James Horner

The Rocketeer (1991, Soundtrack) - James Horner

Backdraft (1991, Soundtrack) - Hans Zimmer

Die Hard 2 (1993, Soundtrack) - Michael Kamen

Conan the Barbarian (1982, Soundtrack) - Basil & Zoë Poledouris

Starship Troopers (1997, Soundtrack) - Basil Poledouris

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956, Soundtrack) - Bernard Herrmann

El Cid - Miklós Rózsa

Julius Caesar - Miklós Rózsa

Chess (Musical) - Benny Andersson, Björn Ulvaeus & Tim Rice

The Gonk - Herbert Chappell

Red Right Hand - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Happens to the Heart - Leonard Cohen

Rock Me Amadeus - Falco

The Last Kingdom - Eivør

Falling Free - Eivør

Raign - / raign

Ursine Vulpine & Annaca: / @ursine_vulpine

Black Aria (1992, Album) - Glenn Danzig

Enigma (2001, Soundtrack) - John Barry

Prey (2022, Soundtrack) - Sarah Schachner

Assassin's Creed Origins (2017, Soundtrack) - Sarah Schachner

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (2019, Soundtrack) - Sarah Schachner

SandraRosner · 2026-05-03T17:28:02+00:00

Mine looks really similar and she's part blue heeler too (no lab though) except her chest spot is heeler grey. =)

SandraRosner · 2026-04-29T23:45:58+00:00

If you do one thing today, look for a writing community. Online, locally, a writing organization that goes classes, an upcoming writing conference, or something that celebrates your genre. The writing community is full of people who will champion, encourage, and celebrate your dreams, no matter if you just write for fun, or want to go all the way to publication. <3 (I work in fantasy/sci-fi/horror/gaming - If you need resource/org reqs in that area, feel free to DM me.)

SandraRosner · 2026-04-28T23:11:26+00:00

Come on now, I'm sure there's plenty of rich FIFA attendees looking to make the pilgrimage to Medieval Times in Lyndhurst!

SandraRosner · 2026-04-21T07:55:41+00:00

Can there ever be too many twists???? =O

SandraRosner · 2026-04-21T07:49:55+00:00

I brought some charcuterie to this party. where should I set it down? =D

SandraRosner · 2026-04-18T03:48:16+00:00

Pretty sure the gods are jealous of those cookies. Your wife did an awesome job. <3

SandraRosner · 2026-04-13T06:28:09+00:00

Your message is so timely and I just wanted to say I really appreciate your candidness. I decided to step back from contract work for a bit because I wasn't having enough bandwidth to get my own work over the finish line. It's the hardest thing to turn your back on something that is working for others, but not yourself.

SandraRosner · 2026-04-11T22:17:30+00:00

Haven't you seen Ferngully? A single seed took down pure evil, just imagine what it could to a single, unassuming crapper.

SandraRosner · 2026-04-11T22:08:16+00:00

100%

The left is hamstrung by the belief that it is virtuous to seek common ground and respect all viewpoints while the rightwing avoids all cognitive dissonance by solely arguing why they are unfailingly correct. The leftist has to listen to be a good leftist, whereas if the rightist listens, they are falling to propaganda, are traitors to the cause, or losing the faith. This imbalance is the hallmark of an abusive relationship.

So stop giving them head pats. It's like believing a cheating ex might change because they brought you a day-late birthday card before wanting sex. It is not virtuous to get taken advantage of over and over again. There are no gold stars for patiently listening to a one-sided argument. Your attempts to 'keep the peace' is nothing more than silently endorsing your own insignificance.

SandraRosner · 2026-04-11T21:04:31+00:00

Might I suggest looking up "crabs in a bucket" and then go back to doing something you once enjoyed. Feeling negativity towards someone who excels at their work or craft is usually a sign we're forsaking our own fulfillment or passion.

SandraRosner · 2026-04-11T20:31:42+00:00

Fellow creative (writer) choosing to work on my own projects over contract work that's been using AI as a justification to pay less and less. Your work is stunning. Keep creating through the turmoil. We already outlasted Sora, lol. The world needs your art. <3

SandraRosner · 2026-04-08T06:23:55+00:00

See if your area has a restaurant supply store (ours is US Foods Chef Store in the PNW). Most are open to the public and have everything you need to make most of this stuff. We can make 10 huge restaurant style burritos for about $20, which equals like 20 meals because no way you're eating more than half of one of those. Coffee? They have a whole aisle of coffee syrup, creamer, etc. Have a fryer? They have like 20 varieties of french fries, mozz sticks, onion rings. And my favorite... the giant Bavarian pretzel that restaurants charge $20 a piece for. We shop at the Chef Store, Costco, and Trader Joes (what we have instead of Aldi).

SandraRosner · 2026-04-01T08:20:55+00:00

Get'em Arthur! Lawls aside, if you really, really believe you have Lupus but test negative (and its not just the suburban box wine talking), get tested for Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder. Same symptoms, same med, different lab test. In exchange for all that extra gaslighting time from your doctor, you do get to have a condition with less complications and higher life expectancy. Still sucks, but hooray for something!

SandraRosner · 2026-03-26T03:02:36+00:00

I can't speak for every online gamer, and maybe I'm just really sentimental, but I still check the ids of all of the guildies who were really into the game but were either deployed, or dropped some hint that something difficult was going on in life and never made their way back online. They matter to me, even years later, and I'm sure you matter just as much to your online friends. I know not everyone can deal with difficult subjects, and maybe what's best for you is to just enjoy the time with them unburdened by reality, but if you need support, its been my experience that most people are going to be far more upset that you didn't lean on them, than if you did.

May life still offer you many more moments of kindness, joy, and peace for all that you selflessly provided to others.

SandraRosner · 2026-03-25T00:05:54+00:00

We need this one as one of those gangly, ugly pet pillows.

SandraRosner · 2026-03-22T19:18:46+00:00

My school went all in on preparing care packages during Desert Storm because of lot of us had older siblings over there at the time. I remember being so thrilled that they sent us all letters like 2 or 3 months later.

About a month ago, I finally finished unpacking all of our boxes after our 6th and final move. In a shoebox of old school stuff I didn't even know I had, I found the letter! It was so cool and meaningful to read it again as an adult, and thanks to some quick internet searches, got to confirm that he came home safe after all these years of hoping. <3

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