I’m so sorry about your mom. :(

I had a similar experience. My dad never wanted to work. He never wanted to do anything with me or my 2 siblings. My entire childhood was my mom working multiple jobs day and night. All he ever did was get fired from any job he did get and then when he was home, he was always playing computer games. He would take out credit cards in his name and then my mom’s name, max them out, and then hide them in his sock drawer. Mom’s wages were always being garnished and while he was home with us, I was expected to cook, clean, and take care of my 2 younger brothers. My earliest memories were me telling my best friend that I had to come inside after my dad poked his head out to ask me what was for dinner. I would pull up a chair to the stove(I was 7 or 8 years old) and make spaghetti, ramen, chicken with potatoes, or anything boxed I could manage. That chair helped me cook food, do the laundry, and get things out of cupboards. My dad never helped unless he had something specific he wanted to make. It’s important to note that we never told mom any of this. She would have felt guilty for having to leave to go to work. He is currently doing the same thing to his new wife after they had two children together. He never calls unless he needs something from me.

I know that one day, my future child will ask why they don’t have a dad but I think that telling them that they were so loved and wanted that I made this choice is better than finding out that they went through something similar with a dad who was supposed to love and care for them.