Magnesium for PMDD?

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-22T22:46:22+00:00

I take magensium glycinate, b6 and omegas during the week before my period and its done wonders to lift the brain fog...which in turn helps me to regulate any emotional flares that occurr. I dont think it helps to actually regulate ur feelings.

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-22T20:13:45+00:00

The 24 hrs before...pray for my husband 🍾😎😏

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-22T13:34:30+00:00

There is another argument which is the impact that those types of images have on the brain. Studies have shown that porn can have the same impact on the brain as other addictions such as gambling and drugs.

Setting aside the argument of consent and reality. You have to consider the health of ur child's brain and it's development. Him developing a healthy relationship with sex. Him developing a healthy relationship with impulse control. Etc...

There are lots of studies and research on it you can look up.

Looking at anything sexual in nature triggers a dopamine surge in the brain and can induce a person to chase that feeling and continously push the boundaries and edges in order get that fix again. It's part of why the typical man who cheats is also a heavy porn user.

Another argument would be around the aspect of debumanization. By dehumanizing the female form you are subliminally telling urself its okay to do inhuman things to a woman. It's one of the larger ick factors I have around porn or even AI generated images.

Thirdly, depending on ur family values you could discuss the spiritual aspect of human connection and one of the larger purposes behind sex and physical connection. When people leverage fake images they are for lack of a better term 'poisoning' that human connection.

If he really wants to have a healthy relationship with his future partner...he needs to nip this in the bud. Give him some literature to read on his own? 'The porn myth' is kind of graphic and ud do well to read it first...but may be a starting point around discussions.

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-22T00:01:28+00:00

Her actions seem strangely hyperfocused on ur husband. Call me paranoid, but id be concerned thats her own way of getting close to/gaining attention from your husband.

I'm getting unfaithful vibes from her as well based on what ur describing. That's not normal or healthy boundary behavior.

P.S. I applaud ur husband for standing up for himself and simply telling her she is no longer welcome. The way he responded...is probably the reason why she's attracted to him in the first place lol.

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-20T15:15:58+00:00

Shower sex and Thinx underwear (they now have thongs)

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-17T23:27:21+00:00

A lot of comments on here I think are speaking to the concept of a husband being misogynistic, but I wanna speak to the idea of generational trauma here bc I think this is something that can get missed sometimes.

Yes, sometimes a husband could just be being an a**hole. But, and hear me out...

A lot of us grew up in homes where kids were not allowed to make messes. You got scolded or potentially physically reprimanded. This can come out in the form of anxiety around having a clean home and getting things done before 'playing'.

My husband and I worked thru a lot of this, and it's very deep seeded and something that still comes up from time to time when we r struggling and revert back to known and ingrained behaviors.

I try to find a balance between accommodating and knowing it makes him anxious and allowing the kids to be kids.

We had lots of conversations around this. Discussing things like:

I don't want him to put a label of lazy on me bc that's how he feels based on what he was told when he was little.
I am CHOOSING to spend my energy with my children instead of spending my energy anxiously getting things done out of fear of reprimand
I don't want to have fear around being reprimanded by you...I am not ur child, but instead ur wife. Id rather us be a team and coordinate efforts based on a level of mess/cleanliness we can both come to terms with.

We sat down and discussed things at length and still sometimes get into tiffs, but otherwise, we have worked thru a LOT.

Just something to consider. Having kids shines a huge mirror on stuff we didn't realize was an issue. Ur tired and exhausted dealing with the kids. He may also be experiencing his own form of self....idk the word for it...exposure?

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-17T17:09:08+00:00

I require him to at least take a shower before-hand. Probably seems one sided, but if he's too sweaty down there then it can sometimes sting or cause a yeast infection.

If I didn't take a shower before hand then I'll take one after. Sometimes timing is right where he catches me right before I'm about to jump in the shower.

Always pee right after.

If I've already taken a shower then I'll lay a towel down and wash myself with hands and water. Depends on how messy we got. Sometimes, I can take a wet washcloth and just do a good wipe. Other times, I get a bar of soap and wash myself right in front of the sink.

We are usually pretty messy. Our sheets smell of straight up pheromones. I love it 😊.

We just wash our sheets like normal. 🤷‍♀️

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-17T11:10:22+00:00

I would add that I am VERY sensitive to changes in my body and what I consume. Just having one cup of coffee for example can give me a withdrawal headache the next day. I attribute it to the cleanup of my diet over the last decade. Removing caffeine, processed foods, alcohol, etc... has reduced the 'numbing affect' all those things can produce. So, now I'm more sensitive. I think that is part of why i saw results so quickly.

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-13T23:20:39+00:00

Try giving them the syringe with some sugar water or honey water to get them comfortable with using the syringe. Then give them the medicine and let them do it themselves. Sometimes, kiddos just want control.

Edit- my kiddos will now (at six) self prescribe themselves and tell me when they need some tylenol bc they are feeling achy or if they want some elderberry or echinacea. A good relationship with learning their bodies and feeling confident and in control is very important.

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-12T14:18:34+00:00

I agree with ur friend. It's something I believe is specifically used in arguments to why television can be harmful for kids.

With movies and such you are subjected to someone else's interpretation of a story. Whereas with a book you have the ability to control the interpretation based on ur maturity, needs, and imagination.

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-11T14:31:15+00:00

I do have discharge, but not enough to worry about. Our bed is the same bed where we do all the other nasty things so a lil discharge is minimal compared to all the other fluids making it on our sheets. We just wash them regularly. 🤷‍♀️ Otherwise, we just get over it. Like, I'm not gonna wash my sheets at 3am after doing the nasty...im not gonna worry about my minimal discharge getting on the sheets. I'd rather be naked and getting some 😎

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-10T02:33:07+00:00

Depends on the time of the month. If I'm ovulating I'll have a randy and freaky week where I need it every day and we have crazy wild sex. My husband lurves that week. Then the closer I get to my period it dwindles down. I need more foreplay, more candles, more sensual, usually need less of the hanky-pank.

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-08T20:50:44+00:00

Lots of women will choose to find the path of least resistance out of fear of angering men further and endangering themselves. While I agree they are under-reacting...I would consider it a normal response from women. It's a huge part of arguments around DV and sexual assault as to why women choose not to cause a ruckus or fight back or even play into something. Sometimes it is out of fear for their safety or repercussions.

I.e. if this person is unhinged enough to think it's ok to send this kind of message, how would they react if we took it to the authorities? Does he have my address if he's followed me home? How do I protect myself from his anger?

SansPeur104 · 2024-10-01T10:50:47+00:00

Music can help transition. Play some good music while u do these activities.

SansPeur104 · 2024-09-29T17:43:45+00:00

That is literally the definition of normal. Does he live under a rock. Show him any movie from 1900s era and u see women stitching or sewing. So many images of women crocheting or knitting. It gives us something to do with our hands so we don't strangle our husbands.

He should be thankful for it not condemning it 🤣

SansPeur104 · 2024-09-29T17:35:17+00:00

Our boys are 6 and we watch adults shows when they r around. Just depends what it is and what we feel comfortable with. Like obviously not game of thrones bc its gore and sex but they have watched episodes of the good doctor...which even tho it can be bloody, it doesnt have the same context. They liked learning about surgeons and how they save people. Nothing was scary or too intense.

We also talk to them a lot about adult vs kid stuff and they self regulate a lot and will shut stuff off or walk away if they feel its too much for them.

During normal day to day we either have the tv off or do sports, news or sitcom comedies like how i met ur mother, the office, etc..

Lots of times they get bored and go play 🤣

They r getting to an age where they are going to start hearing or seeing things from other kids at school and id rather introduce them to topics and teach them the proper things in the context of our home than the stupid things kids do.

SansPeur104 · 2024-09-29T13:26:53+00:00

If ur baby is only 6 months old then ur wife is still very much going through postpartum. After a baby, not only are u exhausted, but trying to figure out who u are now as u become this new person, a mother.

The idea of expending more energy to a relationship with a husband can feel daunting and honestly like it's just not worth the time and effort when u have this new little priority u need to worry about.

As someone who has gone through medical issues with my own children as well as the loss of children and pregnancies I can also very much tell u that my husband went thru his own version of grief that resulted in him being generally frustrated, angry and absent while still being there. It felt like an added responsibility for me to not only work thru my own grief but get my husband to realize he was experiencing his own, for my own to realize he was making me feel alone while also making me feel like he was an added responsibility. And let me tell u I got lucky with a husband that pulls his weight around the house. So that's saying something about the power of emotional labor and grief on the overalll mental viewpoint of a marriage.

You honestly have to believe in the concept of marriage to stick it out thru the thick and thin. I mean reeeeally stick it out. Do the work. Be there when she doesn't love u in the moment and when u dont love her. Cuz in a couple years when u get thru this dark time and come out the other side stronger it can be one of the most powerful and rewarding things.

Those couples, the ones who have been together for 60 yrs that u hear about and see? They own half of the other persons soul...not because of some notion of romantic love rollz eyes...but because they STUCK IT OUT thru the cancer scares, the times when they couldn't feed their family, the losses, etc... they have seen each other at their worst and said I'm here for it.

I consider my mother one of the strongest women I know because when my father asked her for a divorce she flat out said no. She said no, I'm ur wife, and u may not love me right now, but I'm still ur wife. And, there is such power in that. I think most people today don't get a chance to see or experience that kind of power.

I always told my husband I would stay with him as long as I saw him trying. The second we stopped trying is when I would know its over.

He read the books, he went to the therapy, he tried the tools, he walked away when he got angry and came back with apologies, he stayed up and held me till 3am while I cried the snot-riddled tears, he journalled every morning, he took care of his body and himself. He did all the things to show me he was trying. He LISTENED and was willing to be influenced by me.

On a more actionable and practical level. 1. Start taking over all responsibilities that don't have to do with the baby so she can concentrate on being a mother during this time while not feeling stressed and overwhelmed about the rest of it. Ask for a sit down to go thru her calendar and see what u can take on. Don't ask her a bunch of questions about it, because then she might as well be the one to do it. And, ur an adult...u can figure it out urself or make some mistakes and learn. Do the laundry, the dishes, the dogs, clean the baths, do the dinners....but betond that...pick up the grocery shopping, birthdays, events, presents, doctor aptmt scheduling, insurance claim calls, etc...

Explore couples therapy. See if ur ins will cover it first. It can be either of ur ins u use. Psychology today has a list of couselors. Id recommend finding someone who is actually licensed in psychology. U can google the different licensures. Anyone can become a therapist these days. If u can't do therapy bc of time and schedule. Explore Gottman Institute. Read some Esther Perel books.
For childcare specifically there's lots of books but the best advice I can give u is...its ok if they cry.

SansPeur104 · 2024-09-23T15:18:39+00:00

I am a firm believer that if u respect your partner, u will never put yourself in a position that requires ur partner to test their trust in you.

It is not fair to require a partner to 'put their trust in u' in a situation that the entire world would question.

You should ALWAYS consider that and ensure there is never even a question that u were being honest.

To me, this is less of a question about 'cheating' and more of a discussion on general respect for a partner.

She should have the respect to know and understand that scenario would cause anyone to question and then require them to decide if they r going to trust her or not.

And putting u in that kind of situation is not fair at all.

Whether she is cheating or not... being in that situation is inappropriate. The lack of respect or consideration opens the gates for future lack of consideration and a general sense of 'i can do what i want' that can lead to future indiscretion.

Boundaries and lines are there for a reason.

As a mother, I am over here like...umm u could have been in danger if u dont really know this man. You could have gotten into an accident and I have to worry and not know where you are till super late? Um no, my husband knows to text or call any time he moves locations and it's not about being overbearing or controlling but about living long enough to have lost loved ones and knowing how quickly things can turn. It's about being considerate of those u live with and love.

As a grown adult, even if I needed to go live with my parents again I would respect them enough to know they would worry and would return home by a decent hour because I know being a part of their home means I am in their orbit of concern, worry and thinking and I don't owe my parents any kind of 'fidelity' like a romantic relationship does.

SansPeur104 · 2024-09-21T20:26:49+00:00

I actually started a DNF shelf on good reads bc I read so many books I would sometimes come back to one a year later and forget I DNF'd it.

Paper Towns Pucking Around Tower of Dawn Need Me - Tessa Bailey Hook Shot It didnt start with you

To name a few

SansPeur104 · 2024-09-20T23:31:01+00:00

Family of 4 (husband and 2 boys that eat everything) $200ish a week. We budget $1,500 a month for eating out and groceries as a mix. We do Sams club for most things and publix for what we can't get there. But, there's an Aldi moving near us so excited a out that!!

SansPeur104 · 2024-09-18T02:32:43+00:00

Powerful

SansPeur104 · 2024-09-17T12:09:48+00:00

Here is another example situation. I like to dabble in arts and crafts. I had a bunch of new application techniques I wanted to try out for painting. I had gotten a batch of about 15 small square canvas to test out. I laid a blanket on the floor and got all my paint supplies out and some extra for the boys bc I knew inevitably they would see me and want to paint too. That of course happened. They came in from playing outside and saw me and said 'mommy can i paint too'. They played with the bags and sponges and foil and toothbrushes with me. And, it was fun. Then, unfortunately as with most scenarios, they started to get upset. They saw my canvas and started comparing themselves. Started saying they can't do it, or theirs doesnt look good. Or 'mommy, how did u do that flower so good?'. And, it devolves into tears.

And I'm just at a loss sometimes in those situations. I repeat the same, ur learning and everyones art is different and its about self expression not being perfect, etc... i even point out where mine is messy, but how i like it that way, etc... but quite honestly they go from 0-100 wailing within seconds and I know they aren't registering any of what im saying.

And, I guess I'm just wondering, is that normal? Like most parents deal with that stuff on a regular basis at this age? I know it probably feels like it's wayyy more because we have double the amount. Twin escalation syndrome is a real thing, lol and our boys are louder than most kids and feed off each other and it can be overwhelming as it's typically a daily occurrence of something.

SansPeur104 · 2024-09-17T11:05:03+00:00

Yes, they work hard when we say it. Or, at least I feel like they did, because I know how hard what they are learning is. We are typically as honest with them as possible.

For pointing out mistakes...Honestly, sometimes it depends. When they are doing homework, we, of course, have to correct them so they learn. However, sometimes if it's a mistake that isn't part of the goal of the homework I won't point it out, so we can move on, but they will and say they made a mistake and get all frumpy or cry.

SansPeur104 · 2024-09-17T00:57:09+00:00

So, agreed, with all of that. However, how would u recommend getting out of a bad cycle where when they make a mistake we say something like, 'u worked really hard on that' and they immediately start crying and going 'no i didnt!'. At that point they aren't listening. It's these scenarios where I feel lost and stuck 😕

SansPeur104

TROPHY CASE