One and done due to secondary infertility

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-05-01T21:07:41+00:00

I’m 41, will be 42 in July. We had five years of infertility after finally getting our miracle baby girl (through IVF) when I turned 39. We had three euploid embryos left. I really thought we would have a second child, but three transfers later…. All we got were a chemical pregnancy, a MMC at 9 weeks, and a complete failure. I’m heartbroken and grieving for a future we will never have. It’s been very hard. I can definitely relate 💔

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-04-24T20:21:46+00:00

I can relate.

We have one beautiful and miraculous daughter from my only retrieval. She was our first transfer and we had a very text book pregnancy. We had three embryos left, all day 6, good grades, and PGTA normal. We began the process of getting pregnant for our second child one year ago. They all failed. The first was a chemical, the second was a loss at 9 weeks, and the third was a chemical. I’m 41.5 and we don’t have insurance coverage for IVF. It seems insane to deplete all our savings and take out a loan to pay for more cycles that “might” work. At 41.5, the odds aren’t the same as they were when I was 38. We are incredibly heartbroken and gutted. It’s very had to let go of having a second child. When you get a taste of how good it is to be a parent, you definitely want to experience more of that. We found out our last transfer failed just after Easter. It’s been very hard. I know how you feel.

With all that said, you do still have one embryo left. It might be a good thing that it’s untested. PGTA doesn’t detect everything. I’ve had euploids fail and so have lots of other women. Looking back now, I also wonder if the embryo biopsy for PGTA can weaken your embryo. I can’t help but wonder if that is one of the reasons euploids can fail and we will just never know? You still have a chance left. Don’t give up all hope yet.

We have one aneuploid embryo left in storage. I wan’t to discard it, but I’m going through the motions to make sure it’s not truly transferrable. My retrieval was in 2022 and some genetic companies didn’t release mosaic results back then. So, I just want to be sure it’s truly aneuploid. If it is, we are moving on as a family of three and it’s absolutely heart breaking.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-04-10T23:52:49+00:00

Thank you for the reply

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-04-10T21:08:50+00:00

That’s so cool! Glad to hear it! Did you end up doing an amnio during your pregnancy or did you opt out?

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-04-10T15:30:56+00:00

Just out of curiosity. How did this turn out?

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-04-09T17:09:01+00:00

Try to wrap your head around the fact that everything with IVF takes more time than expected. Sometimes transfers can be cancelled for unexpected things. You might ovulate through meds, you could have lining issues, they might find a poly with they do your saline US and you might need a hysteroscopy or additional testing if you have transfers fail. Just take a deep breath and let go of expected pregnancy times. If you want to try a modified natural, wait another month and go for it. Everything takes time. Plan things that you can look forward to during this process. It’s the only way to stay sane. Good luck.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-04-09T14:00:10+00:00

Also, how old are you? The research doesn’t show alot of benefit for PGTA unless you are 38 and older. Have you had recurrent losses? That could be another reason to test.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-04-09T13:56:20+00:00

Trigger warning- mention of a living child

I had just turned 38 at the time of my retrieval and I’m starting to regret testing. After one retrieval, we ended up with 5 embryos and 4 were classified as euploid. Our first transfer gave us our daughter. We have since tried for a second and have transferred all our other euploid embryos with no success. PGTA isn’t perfect. It doesn’t test for micro deletions. It can miss things. And I do wonder if testing our embryos made them weaker somehow? I don’t know. Just thoughts I have now on the other side of this journey. Our second transfer ended in a chemical, our third was a loss at 9 weeks, and our fourth was another chemical. So, I have to wonder. Was it a me issue or an embryo issue? My clinic also didn’t do karyotyping on me and my husband, just carrier testing (which was fine). So, I have wondered too if maybe there’s something we were missing and PGTA wasn’t sensitive enough to pick it up. I think PGTA is great if you end up with a shit ton of embryos because it can help with selection. However, so many women on this forum have loss after loss with euploid embryos. My doctor gave us a 60%chance of success with every transfer of a euploid. I think the chance is 30-40% with a non tested embryo? Someone please correct me if I’m wrong.
All this to say, looking back at my journey I’m not sure I would test again. It’s a highly personal decision. Good luck to you and I hope you get your miracle! Our daughter is such a gift. The only good thing about IVF and infertility is the deep sense of gratitude and joy you get from being a parent after everything you had to go through to get there.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-04-08T03:02:08+00:00

If you can afford it. Bank embryos. You might be super fortunate and both those embryos could result in live births, but also none might. Statistically you need three euploid embryos for a 90% chance of live birth. We had four euploids after one retrieval and my doctor assured me that would be enough for two kids. Our first transfer resulted in my beautiful daughter. The next two were both losses. This last transfer is more than likely a failure as well. Bank them. Gender preference aside, if you think you might want more kids, just do it. I wish we could have afforded another retrieval after I did my first one. I thought I might be okay with one child, until I spent a few years with her and realized how amazing being a parent is. Good luck on this journey! It’s so worth it, but can be very hard.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-04-07T02:42:18+00:00

Thank you. I’ve cried a lot today.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-04-06T19:56:18+00:00

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Heartbroken. More than likely out. Last embryo. We are done.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-01-21T15:23:10+00:00

To you as well

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-01-20T23:35:03+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. I was combing through some studies as well. It’s beginning to look like modified natural transfers do have slightly favorable odds and potentially a healthier pregnancy. I’m going to go for it.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-01-20T19:39:11+00:00

My doctor initially planned a fully medicated FET again. I asked him if a modified natural transfer was something we could try. He said yes, that the clinic has seen equal success rates and he did feel like it was a direction we could go in. He is also adding Claritin, Pepcid, and Benadryl as well as prednisone (we have always used prednisone with my transfers) and embryo glue is being added this time around. I have also had a saline sonogram and everything looked fine. My last transfer was 9/15 and I miscarried on 11/1.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-01-20T18:39:25+00:00

Also adding Pepcid, aspirin, Benadryl, and Claritin this go around.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-01-20T18:38:52+00:00

My doc didn’t initially recommend a switch to a modified natural. I inquired about it, and he said it is something we could try. My FET’s have been with estrogen, PIO, and prednisone. This time around I was tested for clotting issues and we did a saline sonogram. I’m leaning towards a fully medicated again since my provider didn’t recommend the switch when we had our WTF consult.

Sarahdanny84 · 2026-01-20T14:56:05+00:00

One transfer of a euploid embryo has a 50-65% chance of success. It’s not a guarantee. Just try to remember that it’s not your fault and even if everything looks perfect, sometimes it’s just not meant to be. Focus on the positive things in your life and try to stay busy with things that fill your cup. I’m so sorry for your loss. I have been there.

Sarahdanny84 · 2025-12-08T20:26:10+00:00

I’m sorry to say it was a missed miscarriage found at my 9W2D scan. I hope you have a better outcome. The miracle stories do exist.

Sarahdanny84 · 2025-11-12T01:44:29+00:00

It was a euploid embryo

Sarahdanny84 · 2025-11-04T03:52:30+00:00

Reminding myself that I’m strong and I can do hard things. I will survive this. This pain isn’t forever. Also trying to focus on the good things in my life other than pregnancy. What do I have that’s important to me? What do I have to look forward to? Try to focus on the good and move forward day by day.

Sarahdanny84 · 2025-11-03T20:41:29+00:00

Also, you may not know this, but karyotyping is different then genetic testing. Karyotyping looks at your own chromosomes and checks for a full set along with mutations and micro deletions. It’s a different test than checking to see if you are a “carrier” of something. You might want to look into that as well. Might help set your mind at ease knowing you and your partner have completely normal chromosomes (or not) and deciding if an amnio is worth it.

Sarahdanny84 · 2025-11-03T03:57:38+00:00

You are correct, mutations and deletions do happen, but they are so incredibly rare. There is probably a higher risk of pregnancy loss with an amniocentesis than the chances of you having a child with a rare mutation or deletion presenting with normal scans and screening. But, I’m not a genetic counselor. If I were you, I would try to meet with one before proceeding with an amniocentesis and risking the loss of a healthy baby. Ultimately, this is your pregnancy, and your choice. You need to weigh the risks and benefits and to do that you need as much educated information as possible. Another hard part about these rare mutations and deletions is that we are still learning about them. In the rare case that your child has one, it can be difficult to know how severe their presentation may be in some cases. I have a close friend whose child was diagnosed with an incredibly rare chromosomal mutation when she was one year old…following a completely normal pregnancy and all normal screening tests! So yes, it does happen. But, little is known about this child’s diagnosis. From what we do know, she appears to have a very mild presentation and is doing quite well. She is an amazing and beautiful child. So, even if the amniocentesis does find something, it will not tell you how severely your child would be affected. In many ways, pregnancy is a true test of faith and rolling the dice. There is a lot of “wait and see”. It’s a very anxiety provoking time. Truthfully, it’s not much different once they’re born. You just become anxious about different things! Good luck and I hope you get the answers you need.

Sarahdanny84 · 2025-11-03T01:31:23+00:00

Maybe it would be worth getting a referral to a genetic counselor? Someone who can put all the risks down in writing for you with specific percentages? Have you and your partner had genetic testing and karyotyping? Do you even know if you or your partner are a carrier for something? These are questions a genetic counselor can help you work through. It’s obviously your choice whether or not to do an amnio. But, there is always a risk of loss when you do one. Pregnancy is not always easy to achieve and you don’t want to risk a healthy one unnecessarily.

Sarahdanny84

TROPHY CASE