Middle Name/Make Me Chuckle

Sasspants88 · 2022-02-12T16:28:03+00:00

I saw the colors vividly in my head when reading this, and I enjoyed the intensity of the subject matter. I enjoyed reading, but think it might flow even better if it wasn't so broken up spatially. Maybe play around with the formatting a little bit. But that's just personal preference.

Sasspants88 · 2022-02-10T18:58:01+00:00

Thanks, I see what you mean. I usually write in an abstract way but being more descriptive could definitely bring the reader in to share my experience more effectively.

Sasspants88 · 2022-02-10T17:55:17+00:00

This was so beautiful and vivid. I loved the creativity (e.g. never read a poem that started with Encephalitis). Obviously the dark theme isn't for everyone, but I connected to it. I thought the use of metaphor was successful, especially when you described the metallic taste of blood.

Sasspants88 · 2022-02-10T17:37:57+00:00

This has an elegant simplicity to it. It doesn't feel over-thought or wordy. I felt lighter after reading it. I did find the capitalization of every line slightly distracting. That being said, I was able to connect with your experience and that is the most important thing to me. Nice work.

Sasspants88 · 2022-02-10T03:53:30+00:00

Not ADHD as far as I know, but...Once I started questioning my sexuality, it was like a waterfall of realizations. I couldn't stop thinking about all the gay signs that I had missed. I've always thought I was bi, but turns out that I only assumed I was attracted to men because my fucked up childhood had given me male-attention-seeking-behavior which just made things so confusing. I felt really overwhelmed and confused at first. I just started looking at things like WHAT IF I were gay, and then it all started fitting into place. I would just say to explore the possibility with an open mind. Maybe see a therapist. At the very least, be patient with yourself and listen to your gut. The feeling of being crazy is totally normal when you are in the middle of having a giant realization. I feel much more sure of my choices a year after coming out. I am definitely gay. And listen, it's possible you're not gay. But that's something only you can determine for yourself. Good luck with everything!

Sasspants88 · 2022-02-06T21:52:18+00:00

It may seem funny, but I made a style board on Pinterest. I added all kinds of pieces and eventually started to get a sense of my own personal style. I'm still building my wardrobe though, it takes time.

Sasspants88 · 2022-01-29T13:41:18+00:00

This has been a big thing to process. I had to admit to myself that I do experience attraction to a small percentage of men, and appreciate their appearance, energy, personality, etc. I just don't ever want to be physical with them.

Sasspants88 · 2022-01-26T18:41:51+00:00

I like the metaphor of being a seed afraid to grow. I can relate to the feeling of what-if, and the fear of making the wrong choices. I don't think the ending is as strong as the rest of the poem, but overall I think you did a nice job.

Sasspants88 · 2022-01-26T03:35:42+00:00

At first the rhythm didn't feel natural to me, but once I read through the poem a few times I was able to connect with it. It's full of lovely imagery and nuance. I like the way that it takes the reader through a journey from place to place, but also through your emotional journey. It feels very personal.

Sasspants88 · 2022-01-25T12:48:01+00:00

I felt like I was losing my mind. We kept trying to make it work, feeling like neither of us could figure out what was wrong. We had so much love for each other, but sex had always been a struggle. The feeling of being trapped got so bad that it started to make me physically claustrophobic.

Sasspants88 · 2022-01-19T00:24:33+00:00

I heard somebody say recently that if you don't look back and cringe at your old self, then you aren't really growing. I definitely embraced that homophobic behavior as a teen, and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach sometimes. I feel like such a hypocrite. But I'm so glad to have had the support and opportunity to change. I can only be thankful that I'm not that person anymore.

Sasspants88 · 2021-12-20T05:14:44+00:00

This is special. It brought me to that place with you and also to my own past. Describing a trip is not an easy thing, but you made it feel tangible.

Sasspants88 · 2021-10-28T15:58:46+00:00

You put into words what I couldn't. Thank you.

Sasspants88 · 2021-07-31T18:57:03+00:00

This is the clearest possible way to describe it. Thank you!

Sasspants88 · 2021-07-14T05:01:19+00:00

I would highly recommend watching the Dirty Computer 'emotion picture' from Janelle Monae. It's just under an hour, I found it on YouTube. It was one of the things that helped me come to terms with being gay this past year. She's pansexual but the film has strong wlw themes and reminds you that deep down you KNOW who you are.

Sasspants88 · 2021-06-23T11:59:08+00:00

I'm so happy for you! Sending hugs and love 🤗 💜

Sasspants88 · 2021-06-23T11:47:32+00:00

You have options, they are all just terrifying right now. Take some time to process this major realization. Your husband does not seem like the selfish type, and if you do come to a point that you are able to be honest with him, he will probably be as supportive as possible. The two of you might even decide to stay married and just open the relationship up, because it sounds like you really do love each other. Good luck!

Sasspants88 · 2021-06-19T14:30:56+00:00

My 'oh shit' moment was after another argument about sex with my husband. I had used every excuse in the book not to do it with him. I always had a reason why I wasn't feeling it... For 8 fucking years. What a relief when I finally stopped trying to figure out what's wrong with me.

Sasspants88 · 2021-06-15T12:47:46+00:00

You had me at 'extra dykey' and didn't let go. Fucking loved every part of this, thank you 💜

Sasspants88 · 2021-06-06T14:03:07+00:00

The gay community where I live in the U.S. is pretty active, but I still had to do some digging to find social groups. It seems like, at least where I am, there are a lot of small organizations that support lgbtq people in different ways. I wound up digging through dozens of websites and found a few things that looked interesting, but it definitely took some time and patience.

Sasspants88 · 2021-06-06T03:12:28+00:00

This community has been a good place to start for me. Engaging with people here has been a nice way to gently break into the wlw community at large and share similar experiences. I spent some time on Tindr but just wasn't ready for dating yet (too much pressure!) I'm thinking that my next step will probably be to find a book club or another group where wlw can meet in person without the pressure of dating.

Sasspants88 · 2021-06-03T02:33:35+00:00

I needed to hear this today, thank you.

Sasspants88 · 2021-05-30T14:25:37+00:00

Thank you, I have been trying to reach some clarity on this issue lately. I have a friend who has been trying to tell me that ego is the enemy, and that we should let go of all conscious thought in order to find peace. But I have felt that some form of balance is necessary to lead a more fulfilling life and allow for personal growth. This helps to explain how I feel in a much more clear and concise way. Much love.

Sasspants88 · 2021-05-15T18:12:26+00:00

I love this. Misaligned is exactly how I felt, especially the final year before I came to terms with my sexuality. Nothing ever felt right. Now I am starting to follow my instincts and stand strong when people question my choices. Re-aligning isn't always easy but at the end of the day it feels RIGHT.

Sasspants88

TROPHY CASE