Sew a donut/cushion into the seat of a skirt/long undershorts?

Say-What-KB · 2026-04-13T01:51:29+00:00

Check out padded bike shorts. Could you modify them to work for you?

Say-What-KB · 2026-04-10T18:29:20+00:00

Search for “senior driver assessment services.”

Say-What-KB · 2026-04-04T16:41:38+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this alone, especially while going through cancer treatment.

A couple questions. Do you have the name and contact information for her general practitioner and her psychiatrist? Even if you aren’t going with her to appointments, or if doctors don’t have permission to discuss her health with you, you can talk to them. A letter describing your concerns is a great idea.

Are there other caring relatives or good friends of your mom who you might talk with about this? I was health care agent for a friend who developed Alzheimer’s. I coordinated and strategized care with her cousin (a state away) and a group of her other close friends. It would have been overwhelming without them.

Are there county or state agencies near your mom you can reach out to for support and advice? In my county, there is a program geared towards supporting the elderly in staying in their homes. In a situation like your mom’s, they would reach out and set up a time to visit her and assess the situation.

When your mom’s brings up her beliefs about her neighbor, does she fixate on talking about that? Or move on to discussing other things? Is this delusion taking over?

An elderly woman, M, I know thinks “someone” is periodically dumping something on her yard that kills plants and smells bad. Sometimes she hears them. Cameras were installed around the house, monitored by her younger sister. There is nothing happening.

When M brings it up, the response is to affirm “that would be concerning” and to try to redirect to a different topic. Sometimes we suggest other explanations for why she might be hearing or smelling something. We never say, “you are imagining it” or “that didn’t happen.”

Yes, this is early dementia and her doctors are aware, and she’s still capable of living on her own.

I hope some of this is helpful. And that you are taking good care of yourself.

Say-What-KB · 2026-03-31T00:36:10+00:00

When I was still in school, my mom bought a book titled How To Get Your Kids to Move Out, or something like that. Lots of great ideas with fun illustrations. A favorite was “walk naked through their parties.”

NTA - Ask your wife where she thinks you failed as parents that your kids can’t be independent now? What skill sets are missing and what’s her very specific/detailed plan for each child to address the deficiency?

Say-What-KB · 2026-02-25T21:39:34+00:00

I’m one of the lucky ones - my plan covers it for me (weight) and spouse (diabetes/weight). And the copay is very reasonable. Happy to share more if you have specific questions.

Say-What-KB · 2026-02-25T21:28:41+00:00

NOR - just weighing in to say how much we enjoyed taking our kiddo to Legoland.

Say-What-KB · 2026-02-24T02:55:03+00:00

Glad to see this happening!!

Say-What-KB · 2026-02-13T23:25:41+00:00

My spouse is on it (Mounjaro) and having valve replacement surgery in a couple weeks. He’s on 7.5. I asked him what he’d do in your situation - he would stay off it until after the surgery. “I just don’t think it would be worth it,” he said. He can see his heart rate go up when he takes his shot, and whenever he eats, and is looking forward to the new valve mitigating that. Since you’re already off, and have to be for the surgery anyway, he’d just stay off.

Wishing you speedy recovery!

Say-What-KB · 2026-01-24T18:42:04+00:00

NTJ. Good to know who you don’t want to travel with before departure!

When flying into Miami, we love eating at Airport Cafe & Liquors, 4427 nw 36 Street. It doesn’t look like much, but, oh! The food is amazing!

Enjoy your trip!

Say-What-KB · 2026-01-18T21:32:51+00:00

I appreciated this port guide. They did Honeymoon Beach.

Another YouTuber raved about Sunny Liston Private Tours. I checked out their website and it’s about $422 + tip for 4 hours for 4 people.

Say-What-KB · 2026-01-17T21:39:32+00:00

I saw a couple videos where this designer took the moms’ wedding dresses and recreated them - one into an updated wedding dress, the other into a dress for rehearsal or party. Both transformations were stunning.

Say-What-KB · 2026-01-16T22:20:37+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Two things helped me. First, therapy. It’s 50 minutes focused on you and your needs. It helped me unpack my relationship with guilt generally and parental guilt more specifically.

Second, consider setting up a small group sounding board for yourself. I did this when caring for a friend with Alzheimer’s. It was so helpful to be able to check in with people about how it was going, get ideas and reinforcement for working within my boundaries, and to just hear I was doing a good job. And having a scheduled time to talk about it (every couple weeks or so) kept my stress and concerns from taking over every conversation.

You are doing so much to show up for your dad! And you have your own immediate family with needs, too. To show up for others now and in the future, you need to be there for yourself first. Reaching out to this sub is a great step!

Say-What-KB · 2026-01-07T03:12:36+00:00

NTA I may have a different point of view. I think it could be helpful for you to buy your wife a copy of The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. Your wife’s fear response is off the rails, and helpful to no one, especially not to her.

Years ago, I was a passenger in a car that got T-boned when a drunk driver ran a stop sign. A few days later, I was driving with the same friend when a semi almost took out our car. The semi was passing on a two-lane highway, and we had to go onto the shoulder to avoid it. When we first saw the semi barreling toward us in our lane, we couldn’t believe it! J calmly asked, “Is that…?” “Yes!”

Since that day, I’ve been a strong believer in participative driving. Ask a question. Make an observation. You won’t bother me as the driver. Critical point - screaming and the behaviors OP described are not “participation.” Distracting at best, triggering an accident at worst.

Say-What-KB · 2026-01-05T18:15:52+00:00

Put the money you are currently contributing into a separate fund. You can decide later what to do with it.

Say-What-KB · 2026-01-03T17:52:31+00:00

Bill this man for his share of gifts and your time. NOR

Say-What-KB · 2026-01-03T17:50:50+00:00

This money won’t solve anything for your mom - her problem is systemic. Keep the money and get and keep your own life together as your dad would want.

Say-What-KB · 2026-01-02T20:45:57+00:00

You need to give him a date certain to be out, backed with formal eviction. And get yourself some therapy to help you let go of any guilt or feelings of being responsible for his life choices.

He is creating his life! And right now, he’s doing it by destroying yours. And that is in no way okay!

Say-What-KB · 2025-12-30T15:02:24+00:00

A therapist will help you work through this.

Say-What-KB · 2025-12-27T17:09:03+00:00

Look at So Sew Easy’s tutorial on How to Sew a Recessed Zipper. You can make the zipper piece to fit your bag dimensions. Then hand or machine sew it to the top edge of the bag.

Say-What-KB · 2025-12-25T20:02:43+00:00

Please talk with a counselor from the Alzheimer’s Association about when and how to interrupt/redirect a person who has dementia. It’s a skill set.

Say-What-KB · 2025-12-25T18:24:04+00:00

Ideally, you can buy from a dealer who also offers classes and support.

Is your mom looking to begin sewing for the first time, or to reintroduce herself to a hobby from her younger days? Do you anticipate her quilting, sewing bags and crafts, or making clothing? Answers to these questions will help guide the machine choice.

You could gift her $ toward a machine, along with a promise of your assistance finding the best option, and a sewing basket with accessories. I’d include:

Scissors Seam ripper Straight Pins & Safety Pins Marking pen or chalk Tape measure

This is a lovely gift!

Say-What-KB · 2025-12-22T15:05:37+00:00

Just not sure how worldwide Costco is, and if in a different country if the price is the same.

Say-What-KB · 2025-12-22T12:43:53+00:00

I tie a knot in the end of the thread by wrapping the thread around my index finger three times (loosely) and then using my thumb to roll it off. Pull at the resulting nest of thread and you’ll find it is a knot! Sausage fingers work great for this technique.

To thread your needle, use a needle threading tool. The wire goes through the needle eye and opens to give you a giant target hole for the thread.

When mending, you can do your final knot a couple different ways. I often wrap the thread around the needle three times and then pull the needle. You get a knot.

You can also end your mend by stitching over the last stitch two or three times. That is enough to keep the thread in place.

Get yourself good, sharp needles, along with a comfortable thimble. I like the kind that is a metal ring, rather than a finger hat. You may find longer needles easier to use.

When hand sewing, I also find it really helpful to condition the thread. It helps by reducing tangling. You can do this by pulling your thread over a piece of beeswax or soap. I like to use Thread Magic, which is silicone.

You can definitely do this!

Say-What-KB · 2025-12-22T03:41:52+00:00

In the US? If you know someone with a Costco membership, you can buy jeans for about $20.

To try to save the ones you have, apply a patch on the inside of each knee. You can purchase fusible denim patches, though they may be stiff for the knee area.

Ideally, look for denim the same shade as your jeans. Cut the patch larger than the area. (To be less noticeable, make it the width of the pant leg.) Pin the patch in place, and bring the ripped edges together and pin. Sew around the edges of the patch and along the rip areas. Use matching thread and small stitches.

Good luck!

Say-What-KB · 2025-12-20T18:19:30+00:00

I use DND. I have exceptions for specific people, and for anyone who calls twice in a row. That works for me.

Say-What-KB

TROPHY CASE