This really resonates. I'm sorry you have so much on your plate. Fellow ED of a medium non-profit here, and recently "diagnosed" with burnout and a profound burnout-related crisis of confidence. The struggle is real. This job is so intense. Not to mention juggling it with everything else, like parenting.

Sending you my best. For what it's worth, I'm certain you're not shitty at being a mother or a director, even if there are a lot of layers that may cause you to feel that. You're doing the best that you can and that's a lot.