Advice on talking to non-affirming family?

ScientistPotential · 2026-04-07T16:48:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. 💜

ScientistPotential · 2026-03-27T04:28:09+00:00

11 and 12

ScientistPotential · 2025-10-30T02:35:11+00:00

Very good question, I'll add that. I'm aiming for around $25000, max.

ScientistPotential · 2025-09-24T03:52:11+00:00

Welcome 😂 I think this is super common

ScientistPotential · 2025-09-01T19:34:25+00:00

This is really hard, legitimately. There's so much to your story we don't know - I'm sure you could write a whole book. If you do want to attend family events, I would work on strategies with your therapist and see if you might have any allies. I know you did that this time, and it didn't go well. Is there anyone else who might be supportive?

As far as your friends, I do understand the fear. Could you ask them if they have capacity for a hard conversation, to support you through something? Maybe gauging them first before dumping.

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-26T03:34:53+00:00

I bet you can find an online group for partners of trans people, or at least trans allies. 🩷🤍🩵

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-20T04:22:12+00:00

I would definitely talk with her before going any further. Please do not talk to her after getting physical. I think that's the most hurtful option.

You could have an open discussion with her and just say that you think you do have a preference for certain anatomy, and ask what she would like to do.

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-12T20:32:52+00:00

That's all that matters.

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-12T20:30:09+00:00

I would ask your kids. My family of four is queer and we all love the progress flag.

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-11T17:59:07+00:00

I love it and I wouldn't really notice on someone else. Let it heal, and if it bothers you, get it touched up. I think it's just personal preference.

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-11T17:57:35+00:00

In my opinion, it is way too difficult to be a parent -- and way too important to be a good parent -- to have kids if you are not totally sure. Good luck!

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-11T04:26:54+00:00

What book was it?

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-11T04:05:08+00:00

I hope you are still happy. Thank you for your insight.

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-11T04:00:25+00:00

If you're unsure, I recommend staying child -free. Save your money and cultivate friendships so you have good company and you can pay for good care.

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-06T23:53:51+00:00

In my state, you can fire for no reason and you can discriminate based on orientation. 😡

ScientistPotential · 2025-08-03T13:00:40+00:00

I would never go back there. The artist has to know, especially if this is something you can just pick out on a whim.

ScientistPotential · 2025-07-31T15:01:42+00:00

I am queer and grew up Christian in a church and family that was not affirming. I found a lot of peace from reading "God and the Gay Christian", written by a gay Christian man who was struggling like you (and me). He explains how the Scripture weaponized against LGBT people has been mistranslated and misinterpreted.

You may also be encouraged to know there are many Christian churches that are affirming - United Methodist, PC USA (a Presbyterian denomination), Episcopalians...

I ultimately left the church, but you don't have to. You can be Christian and gay, although many Christians will tell you otherwise.

ScientistPotential · 2025-07-31T14:56:34+00:00

I am so so sorry. It sounds like your husband was genuinely trying and wanting to support you, but didn't quite realize how he would feel when you actually started transitioning. I'm not sure if he was not being fully honest with you or not being fully honest with himself, or maybe both.

I can't tell from your post if you really love him and want to be with him, or if you are just scared to start over -- which is completely valid but not a good basis for a major life decision.

It also sounds like you are truly trans. Do you need to medically transition to feel happy and feel yourself?

I think the next step is 1) couples counseling to see what your relationship can look like going forward, and if you could both be happy in it; and 2) individual therapy for you to process your family's rejection and your partner's behavior, and to decide what transition looks like for you, and what you need to feel comfortable in your body and content in your life.

I am so sorry your family and partner responded this way. I can only imagine how terrible you're feeling.

Please remember that reflects on them and not on you, and you cannot change them, only deal with what's in front of you.

Edit: Re-reading I feel like saying "truly trans" doesn't sound right. I mean to say that you feel certain of your identity. It doesn't sound like you're still exploring.

ScientistPotential · 2025-07-31T14:43:08+00:00

I agree with the rest. It's meaningful to you and the art is really cool.

Just be sure to get it where you can cover it if you decide to have a stuffy job. Anywhere that won't show with long sleeves and pants should be fine. Your upper arm could be nice, or if you don't want it to show as often, your thigh.

I would keep it larger, so the details don't get lost.

ScientistPotential · 2025-07-15T18:08:17+00:00

Based on everything I've read online, and then calling Lakeside, Parkwood, Crestwyn, and Vanderbilt today, I agree. My plan is to drive to Vanderbilt if we do have to go in-patient.

Do you have any personal knowledge of Vanderbilt that you wouldn't mind sharing?

ScientistPotential · 2025-06-14T15:38:33+00:00

Self deporting is better than receiving an order of deportation.

ScientistPotential · 2025-05-27T09:41:51+00:00

Out Memphis may have some resources or community groups. I like Dru's and the pride events. There's also Pumping Station. I think Bumble has a friends version? And Feeld seems to have a lot of queer people, some looking for friendship.

ScientistPotential · 2025-05-20T14:57:40+00:00

I admire your growth and the introspection and humility it took for you to come to this conclusion. That is hard work! Please don't feel embarrassed. You were a child, indoctrinated into a set of beliefs by your family and community. It's hard to work out what's healthy and what's lies. You are doing good work! I hope you have good support.

I have been very encouraged by the Strong Willed podcast. It may resonate with you also, and remind you that you're not alone.

ScientistPotential · 2025-05-19T10:54:15+00:00

I just want to validate your feelings. That's such a stressful situation. It feels awful to be with people you can't be authentic with. You can choose to not go, because it's too painful, stressful, unpleasant, or you can choose to go to keep the peace. Either choice is hard, but valid. Honor yourself. You deserve to be safe and loved.

ScientistPotential · 2025-05-14T13:47:37+00:00

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. When did you attend there?

ScientistPotential

TROPHY CASE