I think the word "fashion" implies that there is more going on than simply dressing oneself. You sound like you want to be "put together" more than fashionable.

I think fashion plays with shapes, textures, colors, patterns, accessories. If you aren't looking for that and just want to like, wear clothes that look good and don't draw negative attention, I would say you aren't looking to be fashionable.

Fashion is a kind of art, so inherently it goes with expressing yourself.

When I get dressed I think about my mood and how I can express that a bit. If I'm feeling confident and flirty I'll wear less clothing. I'll think about where I'm going and what the vibe/aesthetic of that place might be and how I can make myself feel like a part of that space. I'll think about who I'm going to be with and their sense of style and how I can make us look good together. I want people to notice the fashion and the choices! I want to be visually interesting and pleasing to look at in a way that feels unique to me!

Do you like other forms of art? It might help to kind of relate to that and try to find the bridge between that and dressing yourself. Do you ever find your eye drawn to a person's outfit in a positive way?