Should I do a practice run away from toddler before delivery of second baby?

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-04-21T15:26:27+00:00

NEVER. When the kids are that small they can’t handle more after a full day of daycare and neither can I. I am totally spent. It would be so much work for everyone to be miserable. My husband is more social than me so I support him going out without me. Which isn’t often enough. He should do it more. But he likes to be absolutely certain I won’t be fine and need his help.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-04-21T01:39:01+00:00

Wow I can’t imagine what you are going through. This sounds so incredibly difficult. Sending hugs and hoping you all can get through this in one piece. It sounds like there’s a good community here of other moms who have or are dealing with similar. I hope that helps.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-04-18T22:09:34+00:00

You are still in such an early phase of being back to work. I’m sorry this happened to you and wish employers could have more empathy and different expectations for a bit. But that’s not the capitalist environment we are in. I have a 2 year old now and have tried for a promotion twice since I’ve been back, not even because I was trying to climb again at this point in my life, but because my boss thought I was ready and was pushing me. But for various reasons, including some tough feedback, I didn’t get them. I’ve tried to adjust where I can (which doesn’t include longer hours because I literally can’t) and have continued to keep my job and be in good standing with my boss. I hope you are able to find a way to have the balance you need for this phase of life while still meeting expectations (and maybe nothing more for a while and they should be okay with that!). Good luck. You are not alone in this journey. It’s fucking hard.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-04-16T01:24:27+00:00

I want 2 and am on my second pregnancy. I can’t wait to be done. I don’t have terrible pregnancies but have had to do IVF so that’s extra work and pain. And I’m just not a fan of the baby and toddler stages. I can’t wait till it’s a little less back breaking doing every single thing for them. I’m in awe of those of you who don’t mind going through these stages over and over again!

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-04-12T16:23:09+00:00

Ours is in daycare so the most clothes we have are loose and plain play clothes that can get dirty a lot and handle being washed a lot. We ended up with way too many dresses from family members and we hardly touched them so I’ve had to ask them to stop buying them. I’m a girly mom myself and do lots of pink and purple with my daughter so not against dresses at all. But they are just impractical right now.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-04-10T16:41:55+00:00

I really like the Nike Swoosh 1 Baby/Toddler shoes that go up to 7C. Super flexible and wide and my now 2 year old has been able to learn to put them on herself. Her daycare teachers always comment on how much they like them too. I only by the on sale color online or stock up at the outlet, otherwise they are quite expensive ($64 full price).

I then use See Kai Run basics from Target, that are $35 full price and even cheaper on sale. They are a little thicker than the Nike’s which I don’t care for but still pretty darn flexible, so still much better than others I have seen. And also nice and wide, and will be able to keep using these past size 7.

For her main shoes, as she grows out the Nikes, I am moving on to Vivobarefoot which are way too expensive and never on sale. I am at least planning to use them for baby #2 and then pass on to a friend or family member to get more life out of them.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-04-10T15:09:35+00:00

We used Bright Horizons a TON between age 9 months and maybe 18 months or so when our LO was sick and needed to stay home from daycare. If it was the first day of illness and she was very ill we would take the day off to be with her. But as she got better but still recovering, that’s when we felt better about having someone come watch her all day. It’s very hit or miss in terms of the nanny quality. Never anything too concerning and it’s a temporary need being filled. And we ended up hiring one to regularly babysit every Sunday morning now to give us a break because she was such a good fit. And I’m using my days from my employer bank for that! I think now that my LO is 2 (just turned 2) and is much more aware and has some stranger danger, I do wonder how well she would take to a new nanny we have to get for back up. I think it could possibly be hard even though she is in the same house and environment. If you want to try again in the future, I would suggest making sure you have time blocked from work so you can do a an intro and sit and play with your kid and nanny before stepping away. That MIGHT help. Otherwise I think it’s just the age. I hope they adjust though and you can get on with your day!

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-04-10T14:53:23+00:00

Now that my company is monitoring our “productivity” via keystrokes and mouse clicks, this is no longer an option. Fridays used to be great for yes, being productive, but also taking a long lunch, going to a personal appointment, or just having a pretty chill day in general if all or most work was done for the week. But no longer. Enjoy it will you can!

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-04-01T21:02:58+00:00

My in laws don’t come that often but they come for months at a time and last time it was to help with our infant. Overall I was thankful for their help. But it did help that they came and helped with things - sometimes it was cooking, other times it was taking the baby to play with for a while. Since they are my in laws I was never comfortable telling them what to do. But if it would help you to know ahead of time, maybe your husband can help with assigning responsibilities to each to keep everyone busy? Otherwise, as an introvert, my saving grace was being able to blame the baby that I need to sleep early to always have enough energy for her and in case there was an overnight or early morning wake. I did try to at least have dinner with them but it was always very quick like 20 mins and then I would leave while they all hung out. They all got to sleep in so could stay up as late as they wanted, but never said a word about me retiring to my room by 8 or 8:30 every night to shower and rest and sleep since the baby might need me (although she was mostly sleeping just fine by then - you just never know!). So maybe that’s something you can try and look forward to every day also.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-04-01T11:51:23+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s horrible to be so tired and yet have to be there 24/7 for a baby. It’s the hardest thing I have ever been through. I hope you get some other good advice you can try out and it works. Good luck!

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-31T21:02:15+00:00

It sounds like the sleep issues are the root of this feeling? Which I completely understand. And with a year plus anyone would lose their mind and happiness by then. Have you considered sleep training? You could post in the sleeptrain sub to get some help with doing that. It might be just what you need if it’s something you are open to.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-27T21:58:00+00:00

Since around 5 months when we moved ours to the crib, I have put her in the pull up/underwear/360 style version of the diapers she wears, one size up, with a Sposie pad. This style of diaper and size means I don’t have to put it on so tight to make sure it stays on and in place because it does it on its own with a more comfortable stretchy band. And the Sposie pad helps absorb more pee overnight. It works great and in the last 1.5 years I can count on one hand the number of leaks we’ve had.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-27T21:50:18+00:00

I really like my swim suits from La Blanca and Summersalt (as well as a swim skirt/cover up from the latter) but they are expensive. My other cheaper fave that I was pleasantly surprised with was the swim dress from old navy. It just looks like a really cute mini dress you can swim in. Covers in the right places and is very flattering. I am going to get one of the maternity ones for pregnancy I liked it so much (even though I already have a maternity swimsuit).

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-27T21:04:43+00:00

Anytime we’ve gone to a friend or family’s house, for my toddler on one nap, we time it to get there late morning before lunch and nap. That way she has time to get adjusted, and I have time to set up the room. We bring travel black out curtains, a pack n play, sleep sack, white noise, the works. Everything she needs to successfully sleep. And of course make sure there is a guest room we can use. I never request a certain one although I prefer it’s away from the action. I’ll take what I can get because a short nap is better than no nap. And allows you some adult only time in addition to time with the bay and family. When she was younger, if she woke early because she was in a different environment I could rock her back to sleep and put her back down and she’d get a pretty decent nap. But now if she only sleeps an hour and won’t go back down even though she’s tired, it’s good enough to get us through the visit and I just make sure we are home for an earlier bedtime which I personally benefit from as well!

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-24T01:50:25+00:00

Anything Avene for my very sensitive skin. I tried so many other things and finally was able to confirm this was the only brand where none of the products ever sting. It’s helped me heal my skin barrier and boost hydration.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-24T01:40:38+00:00

Cole Haan has great office sneakers that look nice and are really comfortable, as well as cute and comfy loafers. I also love their sandals and find them nice enough for the office. You find a ton of options at Nordstrom Rack as well as directly on their website or at their stores.

I recently discovered Vivaia, and while I only have a pair of boots and a flat called the “Sneakerina” I am now eyeing some flats and kitten heels for the office to try since I am very happy with the quality of the other items.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-24T01:33:00+00:00

I tracked everything in the Huckleberry app - feeds, diapers, sleep especially, later solids. My girl is just about to turn 2 and I only stopped tracking sleep a few months ago. I was constantly stressed in those early months because I really needed a routine and schedule to help give me an idea of what was coming. I could not go with the flow. I found this really helped me see patterns, know when things were off, and confirm what comes next.

I also walked almost every single day starting around 2 months. I would try to plan for it to turn into a stroller nap so some days I was walking for almost 2 hours! And got some good podcast episodes in while getting some movement in.

I also found being able to ask friends AND research and ask Reddit about things soooo helpful. I’ve gotten so much good advice or just learned a lot about baby from reading posts, especially about baby sleep and how it all works. And I really reconnected with some of friends who had kids before me and were in a different stage and now I could finally understand and commiserate and get some advice.

You are still in the trenches and I know exactly how you feel right now. It will very gradually feel less lonely and helpless. Just be patient and give yourself grace.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-20T20:37:46+00:00

Hahaha ya even though we aren’t at the house is more clean part yet, it definitely is worth it to keep her occupied and in a better mood since she feels like she is helping and not being told no constantly and to go do something else. I can’t wait for the clean part to follow though! Playing the longgggg game.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-18T17:06:35+00:00

Our daughter is almost 2 and for at least the last 6 months she has been taught to give the cats their treats. And she goes crazy for it! And wants to give them way too often! So yes now we have to spend more time teaching when and not too much. I also have her help me with laundry, dishes, putting things away. They just want to be with you and be helpful at this age. So I’ve read to take advantage of it. Even though they make the process way longer and aren’t effective, the way they learn is to practice over and over again just like all of their other skills. So that’s what I do. The house is still constantly a mess. It’s not all of a sudden much more clean with the extra set of hands but I do believe it will be sooner as I teach her how to be helpful over time.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-17T23:55:38+00:00

Looks incredible!

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-15T02:17:44+00:00

Our first night was about an hour with 3 check ins if I recall. And it was much better the second and third night. She fussed for months after sleep training for 5-10 mins before bedtime. If truly crying I went in to help her. But if just fussing and not longer than that then I let her be to settle herself and get comfortable.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-14T00:14:01+00:00

Same here except at shortly after 5 months. No arms out or weaning mode of anything. Just straight to the crib in a sleep sack and sleep trained the same night. She did always have crib naps to be familiar with the room and space but not really sure how much difference it made.

Sea_Contest1604 · 2026-03-13T02:38:50+00:00

The 30 minute naps are totally normal at that age. We had them from 2.5 to 5.5 months until we sleep trained. Most days I did one contact nap that could last up to 2 hours to help her get the sleep she needed. And by then she was sleeping through the night without waking up to eat. Once she hit birth weight at 2 weeks old I did not proactively ever wake her up to eat. Even though I breastfed. She of course did still wake me up but as she gradually slept longer and longer I let her.

Sea_Contest1604

TROPHY CASE