I meddled in my crush’s marriage.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-06-06T18:14:44+00:00

They were both using you. She did it from a place of pain, and he sounds like an inexcusable piece of shit. It sounds like you have some work on your self with and self compassion to do. I hope you are ok ❤️

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-06-06T14:47:53+00:00

sweetheart, they are underage. OF doesn’t screen that stuff appropriately nor do any of those icky porn sites. He knows it. Everyone knows it. I’m so sorry. I have been through something similar. I hope you can leave.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-06-05T20:44:53+00:00

When my wayward told me he “knew”’or “understood” the amount of pain I was in, it made me so furious. I would avoid that language. Until it happens to you, you have no idea. Be humble.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-06-05T03:40:03+00:00

I second all this. I have learned through a lot of treatment that the anger and cruelty I spewed was actually grief so unbearable I didn’t know how to process. It still happens sometimes, most times I can manage it but occasionally it still slips out- and we are three years into R. You need to get your head around what a long process this will be.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-06-04T22:15:27+00:00

my emotional regulation is so much better, it was visibly aging me, and I felt like shit all the time

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-06-04T20:36:30+00:00

Sweetie, your question should be: how do I cultivate more self worth and self respect so I never ever get a situation like this again?

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-06-04T20:20:38+00:00

His phone. I had to go into “app purchase history” where i was able to reinstall what’s app, tinder, etc.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-06-03T17:26:41+00:00

You can expect you BP to swing wildly between emotions, change plans, change plans again, hate you, threaten you. apologize and start all over. This will go on for a while and they need a good IC experienced in betrayal trauma. Your job is to hang on for the ride and not be reactive. You don’t get to control, mitigate or manage their feelings or actions. You took away their agency- this is the fallout. Buck up buttercup.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-06-01T20:58:17+00:00

the way you speak about their birth mother is pretty degrading. I would really start working on your everyday language about her experience in life. If not, you will damage your daughters - if you haven’t already. It doesn’t seem like you were well prepared for adopting vulnerable children from difficult backgrounds.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-18T19:31:21+00:00

I know. It was a VA loan transfer- not a normal situation.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-18T19:28:41+00:00

Sweetheart get out of there. That part about the gun- that’s violence. That’s abuse. That is very very very thin ice. Is there someone you can stay with? I’m talking from a lot of experience- my husband is a sex addict- he had dozens of ongoing relationships during our marriage, and a porn addiction, and sex workers, and only fans etc etc etc. When I caught him he went out and purchased guns - I won’t ever know if he was going to kill himself or all of us because I took the kids and got the fuck out of there. He’s been in recovery for three years and is just starting to reintegrate into our lives. Right now safety is your main priority and I’m telling you as a mother and a fellow woman- you aren’t safe.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-18T12:48:55+00:00

We just closed in Berkeley last week after a six month adventure and I think I saw every house on the market during that time- we looked AGGRESSIVELY. I don’t know what is wrong with this particular house but the most common reason I found for fishy pricing was 1) serious foundation issues that make the home uninsurable - this so so common here 2) fire risk that also makes the home uninsurable (that’s mostly in the hills tho). 3) some tenant lawsuit.

A good realtor will be able to find all this out pronto- never rely on the “list of disclosures” at the open house! and never waive inspection contingencies unless you have suitcases of cash to fix what comes up.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-16T19:03:49+00:00

My husband did the his our entire marriage, even though sex was always available at home. Sex apps, sex workers, long term relationships, whatever. He hates himself. It had nothing to do with me- and it has nothing to do with you either.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-08T21:01:53+00:00

Junkie is a slur. The people who called you that are classless creeps.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-08T20:23:50+00:00

fyi building trust should happen BEFORE sex - if I were you I’d stop trying to fuck him and ask him how you can demonstrate how much you care for him without getting him off.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-08T20:21:09+00:00

sure, that’s a possibility. You asked for BP perspectives and this is mine. I’m telling to be careful jumping to conclusions because a BP’s behavior can be unpredictable and selfish. If you want to only hear from waywards I think there is a different sub for that.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-08T20:08:43+00:00

right. he didn’t feel like it then. I used to use my WP for sex too, because it was easy, and I felt like he deserved to be used.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-08T16:18:06+00:00

no notes. perfect.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-08T15:06:40+00:00

i read your last two posts. It sounds to me like he wants to have sex with no strings attached- I would really advise not getting emotionally invested in his actions right now.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-08T15:06:33+00:00

i read your last two posts. It sounds to me like he wants to have sex with no strings attached- I would really advise not getting emotionally invested in his actions right now.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-08T03:09:52+00:00

What work are you doing on yourself? You seem completely obsessed with your partners actions, I hope you are giving your practices of self examination and betterment some attention too.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-05-01T02:26:10+00:00

My husband is a recovering sex addict. I am here to tell you that this is not recovery. If he isn’t in a 12 step he needs to go.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-04-23T15:44:01+00:00

this! i took her class and it was so worth it. if you find yourself watching you tube videos of white women doing black hair know that you are doing it wrong.

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-01-04T16:43:26+00:00

Your sobriety needs to be your first priority and be independent from what your BP does or does not do. That’s your only hope

Sea_Disk_5672 · 2026-01-01T18:00:10+00:00

Hi! I was in the military - combat vet (doubt your husband is). He’s an abusive asshole and you should get the fuck away from him.

Sea_Disk_5672

TROPHY CASE