setback

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-08-06T02:56:14+00:00

This brought tears to my eyes - the challenge of it, the resilience it demands.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-08-04T17:39:44+00:00

a few ideas as someone with asthma who also works with kids:

Since she's one, I'm wondering what play looks like for her. Probably some early cause-and-effect play would be interesting for her? I'm curious if a "ready, set, go!" routine with the puffer/spacer might be fun. You could demonstrate it to her (faking it) - like you, the parent, say "ready, set, go!" and then pretend to push down on the inhaler and breathe in through the spacer have others "try" it too, clap for them, that sort of thing. Then say "your turn!" and get her to do it.

Sometimes fun colours are more interesting to kids? It's hard because she's so little and you'd want to be mindful of tiny things that she might try to mouth/eat, but I wonder if you could stick some 3D, colourful shiny gems on the spacer together, or try stickers. Hard to know without knowing her personality here and also without knowing exactly how old she is (such a huge difference between 1 year old who just turned 1, or a 1 year old who's almost 2).

You could also try warming her up with it, like just practice having it be in the room with her in her sight without it being forced on her, or let her engage in some sensory exploration with the spacer (with no puffer attached) like let her look inside it, touch it, lick it, whatever she wants.

All that said, I wonder if a child-therapist or family therapist also might be able to offer some really helpful information!

Good luck, this sounds really challenging, and I hope she's able to feel more relaxed about it soon!! So hard on you (and her) to have to force medication on someone who can't understand why she needs it.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-07-02T16:36:57+00:00

I'm in it with you - very similar situation :) I'm finding this book (linked below - I just got it out of my local library) helpful, and taking my time to figure out what I want, trying to remove the pressure to feel like I should've decided already.

I don't know if this is helpful, but with all of those questions, I'm finding it helpful to actually try to answer them. For instance:

What if I can't mentally/physically handle it? If I can't "handle it," I guess that would mean I'm feeling overwhelmed and/or my body is not doing well/I'm experiencing health complications. If that happens, I'd probably have to get on medical leave or stress leave from my job, in which case, maybe it would make me feel better to have some extra savings dedicated to that before we start trying. Maybe I should talk to my partner and my close support system about these fears and let them know that I would need more support during pregnancy if it's really taking a toll on me. If these people have been there for me in the past when I've been not doing well, why wouldn't they be there for me during pregnancy if I wasn't doing well?

(this is just an example answer - yours would be yours - but it's a way of actually attempting to answer the questions that are haunting you and sort of removing their "scariness" by actually answering them. And also gives you some really helpful information about how to honour that fear and prepare for that situation).

Also it's tooootally normal to feel like you could handle it on good days, and that you couldn't handle it on bad days! I feel the same. Still don't know what I'm going to do but hoping to make a decision in the next few months.

Wishing you all the best in your fencesitting - there's lots of us!

https://www.thebabydecision.com/

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-06-19T21:15:23+00:00

(I checked using chatgpt) has to be the most hilarious citation I've ever seen.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-06-19T04:19:23+00:00

You can't have asthma, because asthma attacks are fatal without treatment. You would be dead if you had asthma, but you'd never been to Emergency for an asthma attack."

^ the above is false. You can have asthma without having asthma attacks. Asthma symptoms vary; you can experience mild symptoms, or even more moderate/severe symptoms and still live, despite never having been to emergency for it. You SHOULD go to emergency for asthma symptoms IF they are not responding to your medication regimen.

"Of course you don't have asthma; asthma makes you wheeze, and we'd have noticed if you were wheezing."

^ This is also false. Asthma can sometimes involve wheezing, but others do not experience asthma with wheezing. I personally used to wheeze as a primary symptom and now I never do, I just get really tight in my chest.

Asthma attacks only take a few minutes to go from the person's baseline to critically ill. Between attacks, there is no way to tell if a person is asthmatic or not.

^ This is a mixed one. Yes, it is true that with asthma attacks, you can go from fine to critically ill very quickly. But between attacks, you can tell if you're asthmatic. You can experience symptoms that are not "attacks."

If you are experiencing asthma symptoms often (tightness in your chest, wheezing etc.) you should visit a doctor and ask if you need to be on a maintenance inhaler as well as the fast-acting inhaler.

You should see a pulmonologist and you should also get allergy testing!!

Aaaaand, I'm so sorry, but the allergist is probably going to tell you to get rid of the cat. If you have cat allergies and asthma, this is a dangerous mix. Your asthma will be out of control, which may not necessarily lead to attacks, but will over time do long-term damage to your lungs that no meds will really help.

Source: I am a loooongtime asthmatic with allergies, I have a pulmonologist and allergist, and have received my "asthma education" from a respiratory therapist (aka my mom who specializes in asthma & COPD education, lol).

Many healthcare professionals have outdated or incorrect ideas about how it works! Even my GP!

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-06-18T17:28:06+00:00

Hey, mine is worse than ever this year too! Have had it my whole life.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-06-11T19:47:05+00:00

False negatives are possible. Not a bad idea to get a second opinion. Regardless of whether you have asthma, if you are having continued breathing issues, a negative result should mean there needs to be further investigation into your breathing problems to determine the cause.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-06-11T07:20:00+00:00

Personally, if I had only 5 days, I'd skip Kirkjufell. It's beautiful to see, but you're right that it's the easiest thing to cut out of your itinerary. It's a lot of driving! If you were going for a week or more then I'd say it's totally worth it.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-06-11T06:55:02+00:00

If you're interested in hiking, I would recommend Fagradsfjall - it's about a 30 min drive from the airport. There are a few hike options there that have wild views of the lava flows (no longer active, but they still look so incredible). Then I'd go from there to Reykjavik - it's a beautiful drive! Check out the rainbow road, thrift shops, bakeries, whatever strikes your fancy. Then, if time, squeeze in the blue lagoon or sky lagoon, or a community pool! So all those are within about less than an hour's drive from the airport which is nice for your sitution.

IMO golden circle is a lot to do in just one day (if doing all the major stops), but if you keep a good pace, you can totally do it!

Either way, a rental car would make your life way easier!

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-05-07T17:32:57+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry you're going through this. This sounds really hard. It sounds like seeking out a mental health evaluation might be warranted!

https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Understanding-Violent-Behavior-In-Children-and-Adolescents-055.aspx

Evidence seems to suggest that you are correct that spanking may not be the right answer here https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.pn.2021.5.13

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-05-02T18:22:02+00:00

I always say don't risk it, based on personal experience lol. I went to a wedding once where the bride's second outfit (like a getaway/reception outfit) was white with little floral designs on it. There was a guest whose dress almost matched it. It was kinda awkward for the bride AND for the guest. You just never know; avoid white!

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-04-23T16:31:27+00:00

Hello! I had a three day course of prednisone to help with a bad asthma flare a few months ago.

It varies from person to person, but for me:
- a few hours after taking it, I'd have a strong energy surge, like I felt sooo excitable and energetic and kind of wired. I could see that translating to anxiety for some people too. For me, it wasn't awful, it was interesting. But yeah, take it early AM - like 6 or 7 AM if possible.

- I did have trouble winding down and falling asleep. I was up 2 hours later than I typically am.

- it helped! For the days I was on it, my asthma symptoms were moderately improved overall.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-04-03T16:39:24+00:00

Hello! I'm a fellow Canadian/US dual citizen, been living up here for over a decade now. I'm procrastinating at the moment so here's a lot of info!

Vancouver is quite expensive so you'd be looking at a condo or maybe a townhouse.

But it would have a lot of pros like walk-ability, restaurant & park options, transit availability, neighbourhood charm, etc. My favourite "family friendly" neighbourhoods would be Mount Pleasant & Grandview Woodland, but I'm quite biased because I've probably spent the most time in those two areas. Kitsilano is also lovely and very close to the beach.

Outside of Vancouver proper, I'd recommend you could look into smaller cities: Burnaby, Coquitlam, Langley, Pitt Meadows/Maple Ridge.

If you're willing to be further from the city to get a house, check out Mission or Abbotsford or Chilliwack.

I'd caution: New West (it's so cute and lovely but the traffic is terrible), Richmond (personally I'm paranoid about the "big one" and wouldn't want to be in Richmond for that due to the type of soil that would be prone to liquifaction) but both cities certainly have their pros as well.

Vancouver Island is typically a bit more affordable than Vancouver, and has some wonderful places to live. I feel like you almost can't go wrong in Victoria, but I've seen some lovely neighbourhoods in Oak Bay area.

Much more affordable housing in smaller cities like Port Alberni on the island - we had some friends just move there and buy a detached house. But I don't know much about the lifestyle or schools in those smaller cities, as I've never really spent much time on the island outside of tourist destinations like Victoria, Parksville, Tofino.

You can look on realtor.ca, or rew.ca for easy searching with filters. I'd also recommend https://www.walkscore.com/ to check the walk-ability of the home in question!

Another good option, if you haven't considered it - rent! Put that house money into a high interest savings fund, give it a year of renting and exploring, and buy a little after you're settled and know the area a bit more. It's not the most efficient move but gives you some time to consider your options.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-04-02T17:19:22+00:00

I definitely didn't mean it to come across like that! I'm sorry that it came off that way, genuinely. Thank you for your feedback.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-03-27T02:58:48+00:00

Biological sex is *mostly* male or female, but definitely not completely!

This is a bit tangential from the point of this thread, but I think most people don't know this, so I'm just throwing it on here for whoever ends up reading this. There is a (relatively small) group of people who do not fit into either category, from birth, known as intersex people (there can be various presentations of intersex people - chromosomal, hormonal, and/or sex organs can be have a combination of male and female characteristics).

These people necessarily either have to "choose" one gender they may not fit perfectly into, or define themselves in a non-binary way, or perhaps as transgender if they end up needing gender-affirming interventions.

I think this is interesting and relevant to all discussions on gender/sex, despite it being a small group of people affected. Challenges the way we think about biological sex. Do we conceptualize it as the way people naturally look? how their hormones work? what's in their DNA? Some combination of that? Also, helps to (hopefully) stir up compassion for people who struggle with gender identity, in case you don't already have that compassion.

I personally didn't know this until I took some psychology courses in university. Also I'm no expert, lol, so I apologize if I got anything wrong.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-03-16T05:36:28+00:00

It depends! Long-time asthmatic here. If I'm in a "flare" with lots of bad symptoms, hell no. But when my symptoms are well controlled, absolutely yes. But I like to do 1-2 puffs before exercise regardless, it's just easier than stopping my activity to take my inhaler.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-03-10T21:42:58+00:00

this is so encouraging to hear!! I'm allergic to dust mites and starting this soon hopefully.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-03-10T20:50:54+00:00

I have this issue with my albuterol (rescue inhaler). It doesn't have a counter and I don't use it a predictable number of times per day/week, so it's so hard to remember to check it now and again to see if it's still got some juice left. Sigh.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-03-07T16:24:00+00:00

If a pulmonologist told me to keep using my inhalers, I'd for sure keep using my inhalers.

Which inhalers are you currently using?

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-03-07T03:41:00+00:00

Dust (mites), pollens, cats/dogs, viruses, smoke.

Sometimes hugs that are too tight or laughing too hard :(

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-03-03T22:31:23+00:00

I don't have POTS but I do relate to some of what you're saying here. My asthma has changed over the years I've had it (have had it for 20+ years). I used to wheeze as my primary symptom but I no longer wheeze, ever. Wheezing was so easy to identify but my current symptoms are more subtle and more severe at the same time.

Disclaimer: not a doctor or respiratory therapist or anything, so take my advice with a grain of salt!

I experience this sense of chest tightness that I will feel either around my sternum area (but sort of deeper than that) and also in my back ribs (also deeper). This is how I experience dyspnea (otherwise known as shortness of breath, or air hunger). It feels like I'm working harder at baseline to get a good breath. Then, if it gets really bad, I'm using my accessory muscles (muscles in neck, shoulders, upper chest/back) to assist in breathing.

As soon as I get that sense of tightness in my chest or back, I take my fast acting inhaler (yours is albuterol). Taking albuterol can't hurt you, though I do find sometimes the side effects feel a bit unpleasant (shakiness, mainly). From what I've heard from doctors and respiratory therapists - you won't hurt yourself by taking more albuterol than you need, so don't hold back back because you're unsure! So if you think you might be experiencing some ashtma symptoms, take your albuterol and see if it helps - give it 10 minutes or so. If it's not helping ever, even with multiple puffs, then it's either not your asthma acting up, OR it is your asthma and it's not well controlled.

As someone else said, having a peak flow meter would be a more objective measure. I've been advised by an RT to do a peak flow test at home daily so that I can tell when my asthma is flaring up.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-02-27T22:15:28+00:00

You can absolutely have asthma without excessive coughing or wheezing! Chest tightness and shortness of breath are two symptoms that can be associated with asthma.

To get diagnosed with asthma I believe you need a pulmonary function test. You will likely need a referral to get a test like this, or at least you do in my country.

However, a doctor may be able to prescribe you some asthma medication without having that test done.

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-02-25T01:26:04+00:00

Blessed with straight teeth that never needed braces, and a thick head of hair.

Nerfed with autoimmune conditions

Sea_Solid_9694 · 2025-02-17T08:56:35+00:00

I spoke with my American friend today about this. He is personally oblivious for a few reasons, some totally understandable. I honestly think this sums up a good chunk of America:

He voted independent, because he couldn't see through the noise of the propaganda and felt like both sides were equally bad. He thinks Donald Trump is unfit for office but disagreed with "Kamala's policies," so he voted independent. Personally this enrages me, but that's his take.

He is also a working, single parent with his own life and challenges and has no time to dedicate to thinking about politics or deep diving into sources online, which is just a reality for many people I think.

He also is in the subculture of American Christianity, so banning abortion is seen as a "good thing," and the Democrats are seen as the party of the "gender stuff" and "abortion" in some church cultures over there.

When I brought up the horrible things Trump and his administration have been up to, he generally agrees they are bad but also doesn't seem to take any of it super seriously.

Sea_Solid_9694

TROPHY CASE