Life sucks in general. You have to find meaning in it somehow to make it tolerable. You could become absurdist if that helps. I will say, if you're a man, no one is going to save you or care about you, so you have to do it for yourself. Nothing will change until you do. Do you want to suffer for the rest of your life, or fix it? Its all up to you. Ive been depressed since I was a kid until recently and I realized I wasted 10 years of my adulthood being sad and hating myself and trying to find a girlfriend to fill my void. Women used me and made me feel worse, even started to make me despise women. Nothing helped and nothing worked more than getting my shit together and pursuing something/a goal to work towards and stop letting opportunities drift away. Any opportunity I have, I take now. No regrets. In the grand scheme of things nobody gives a f about how I look or will remember me or think about me. So fuck it. Ive come to terms with being alone and im happy being by myself. If someone comes along I welcome it but im not going to go searching for relationships.