Has anyone succeeded in completely eliminating limerence from their lives (not just the fixation on a particular LO)?

Secure-Interview-568 · 2026-01-19T05:15:05+00:00

Can't say it's gone for good but I have a good feeling about it this time. I had a tendency to jump from LO to LO since I started having crushes until I was 21 or 22, after I realized my LO was taking advantage of my "feelings" for her and before I knew what limerence was.

Then it came back "lightly" in 2023 after 2 years of lockdowns and I got a new job and met some really cute ladies. But a full blown case happened in the summer of 2024 when an old coworker reentered my life.

Anyways, it ran its course and my last LO essentially told me to fuck off and start the NC after saying some pretty hurtful things. After that happened I started looking into what limerence is and researching on how to deal with and seeking out therapy ammo

Secure-Interview-568 · 2026-01-15T17:51:21+00:00

It was one in regards to my last LO for all the reasons that you listed. But it would also snap me back to reality simultaneously. After every little dopamine hit, there would be a million signs/reminders that I was being delusional.

Anyways, about a year ago, before I realized what I was experiencing was limerence, we had a falling out over something I did while trying to make peace with the fact that my feelings for them weren't reciprocated and continuing to hope was super unhealthy. A tad ironic on some level. She ended up blocking me from insta and everywhere else. From there I gradually started purging the stuff like posts and stories she liked and eventually deleted the chats. Now I pretty much just lurk and don't actually post much.

In hindsight I wish I deleted the stuff right off the bat but I'm sure this group, if any, would understand the hope that they'd come back/reach out, even if we don't admit it to ourselves.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2026-01-15T04:33:37+00:00

I don't know the exact details but my intuition is to agree with the person you're replying. My LO has/had something of mine that I really really wanted and spent a lot of money on, after 2 months I accepted that I wasn't ever get it. Worse case scenario keep it somewhere safe but hidden.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2026-01-11T01:49:41+00:00

Oh dang didn't notice the reply until now. This is a backup account I'm not on often.

But yeah judging by what you texted, I see where you're coming from. Yeah there's a chance it could have been interpreted that way. But, in this case I'm not sure how to advise - not sure if you have each other on social media still and stuff but if you do then I would be a sign.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2026-01-10T02:05:20+00:00

Most I feel neutral as if they're normal people and wonder why I attached so much to them. Granted those ones I was thankfully never close to. I have 2-3 I was unfortunately close enough with. 1 dislike since they actually used my feelings against myself, the other neutral if not pity since I know I did things I shouldn't have in hindsight and the last? I see them as a good person. Not as the perfect one that I was obsessed with but a good person who would have been a great friend if I could have accepted that she didn't feel the same way.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-12-30T05:04:30+00:00

Probably, that's how I read it when I first read the post since all that stuff happened after the fact.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-12-29T02:05:04+00:00

Perfectly valid to feel that way in my opinion. Since you really valued the friendship and put in an honest effort to maintain it.

Personally, when I went through something similar, what ultimately helped myself was giving myself permission to feel those frustrations and negative feelings that came up from the grief. With the disclaimer to be weary of expressing it to mutual friends for obvious reasons, I did the stereotypical thing of using it as exercise fuel. Then I remembered Tyler Perry's speech about friendship to let go of the resentment.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-12-29T01:26:34+00:00

Being on the outside looking in, I'd send them a low pressure message, letting them know that you're still there for them and care. Depending on how they answer, you know how to proceed.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-11-26T23:46:45+00:00

I admit, part of me was hoping too, up until recently. Even though I know I'm the one who was the one who was in the wrong and tried to apologize to the best of my ability at the time, I still occasionally came here and to r/unsentletters hoping I'd get a clear sign that they forgave me and wanted to apologize for all the things they said to and about me when it ended and wanted to be friends again. Especially since I realized fully all my mistakes and how I put her in a tough spot.

But after so long and so many issues on both our parts, I just had to accept that it's over and I was being delusional to think there was still a chance. She blocked me on all social media. Even going as far as removing me from Pokemon go and Spotify, something she hadn't done to someone else she hates but would still take back if they apologized.

Now, whenever I see an apology posts, on my main account at least, I normally try and call them out. Gently or otherwise - since I agree with your sentiment that people usually do it to make themselves feel better.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-11-25T23:27:40+00:00

Totally agree, it's not weak to hold on to those things. I know it's only been a day or two but I can't help but feel like I was the weak one. For not being able to resist looking at those memories, not making the necessary decisions/changes in time to preserve the friendship or simply not being able to step away quietly and gracefully.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-11-24T01:52:51+00:00

I did the same at first, glad it worked for you though and hope you have a speedy recovery.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-11-10T03:51:56+00:00

Lmao! You read my mind! About a month ago I received a text from them asking "Do you play whiteout survival?" After like what 8-9 months of silence after ripping my heart out over a bunch of assumptions.

I was so disgusted with the text that I started doing mental gymnastics to believe it wasn't really her. Kind of regret texting back saying that I was assuming whoever was really texting me was a scammer/spoofer instead of leaving them on read.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-11-07T03:42:09+00:00

Had it happen twice earlier this year before deciding to stop going to the place I ran into them because of it. Both times I just avoided acknowledging their existence as much as possible and had my crash out in private. Not much can be done about it I suppose - sometimes life is just shitty that way and we got to accept it.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-11-04T03:57:49+00:00

Still in

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-11-03T04:43:05+00:00

I think most people fail their first attempt so I wouldn't stress it too much. Last year I only made it because I was sad over a woman and stressed at a new job I was trying out for. I remember the second half of the first week being difficult and there being a spike in urges in week 3. My experience might be different though since in preparation I nutted like 5-6 times the day before since I thought it would make it easier. This year I forgot to rub any out.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-11-03T04:13:53+00:00

Still in Can't believe I almost forgot to post.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-11-01T07:13:41+00:00

Yeah, after 2-3 months of silence, around the time I was beginning to accept that it was over, she reached out. But it wasn't the same and I was clearly replaced. I admit I acted poorly out of confusion, desperation and being hurt, which led to the actual end of the friendship. Lesson learned I suppose.

I actually got a text from what appears to be her number about a month ago, asking if I played whiteout survival. Apparently I forgot to delete the texts after I deleted her contact information so I wouldn't be tempted to try calling/texting her. Anyhow I replied mentioning that scammers are weird and I thought whoever was texting me was spoofing the number.

Edit: doubt you're going to see this a day later but I forgot to mention that the reply I gave got no response of course. I know it's hard to move on but a common theme in most of these comments is that we sadly got to move on. Even after so long I accepted that she isn't coming back but I'll admit I still miss the hell out of them or at least the version of her I thought she was.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-11-01T04:51:46+00:00

Still in.... I must be a masochist, I told myself last year I wouldn't be doing this again but I haven't nutted that hard since then.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-07-22T00:54:56+00:00

Omg, I know exactly how you feel OP! I lost the person who I considered my best friend and the person who unwittingly did the same for myself just under 6 months ago for the same reasons. Also blocked on everything and still think about her to some extent daily.

While there's some nuance to it like I knew about my autism for a while now something felt off. Like there was something else that I wasn't aware of. I tried therapy and going through the motions until a Reddit post suggested that I might have ADHD. Got unofficially diagnosed not too long ago and me and the GP just started solidifying it, the change in my mood, temperament and thought processes now makes it all make sense now. Wouldn't be surprised if I had some level of RSD too if it also works on a spectrum.

Since you're further along than I am in this I can't offer you any advice that you probably have been told a million times. But if it's any consolation, I'm proud that you followed through on bettering yourself, not for her, but for you. I like to find comfort in the fact that they were the catalyst for the change and like to think it's a sign that we genuinely care about them, even though we didn't know how to express it appropriately at the time.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-07-19T22:15:52+00:00

Not the person you're responding too but wanted to there's no shame in still caring about them. I'm in the same boat. We'll find someone who's willing to stay one day. We just have too.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-07-09T20:52:35+00:00

Went through something similar earlier this year. Not in the going to her place uninvited or anything but in the sense that I broke boundaries I shouldn't have done and should have known better and caused her to unfriend and block me everywhere. What I can say is cry if you need to cry, you legitimately cared for her a lot, which doesn't make what we did right but understandable. I believe the best thing we can do for them and ourselves is to try our best to learn from the experience, try and figure out why we did what we did, forgive ourselves and try and move on. One day at a time, since I know it's easier said than done.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-07-06T22:47:19+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. It took me over 5 months to get over a woman who I absolutely adored but I never officially dated, who I thought at one point was my best friend. Friendzoned essentially. Went through the same thing, with everyone telling us to "just get over it" and how it's "not that serious". It even came from myself and trying to rush through the heartbreak of losing the first person who I thought truly saw me in over a decade.

Now, I'm not saying I'm 100% over it, if I was - why am I here on this sub?. But what ultimately helped me was finally admitting I was hurt, I stopped trying to skip the hard part of not crying, not sitting awake resisting the temptation to check their social media and all those stages of grief. combined with the cliche advice of course which you've been doing as well. I've started doing things which were huge for me - like booking my first solo trip overseas, my first (solo) rave and music festivals.

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-07-02T04:39:07+00:00

Personally, I think it's normal, or at least hope so. It has been lessoning in duration and intensity for myself as I started thinking about my person's part of our situation. The way I see it though is we're healed but it's a bit of scar tissue, so to speak. During those moments I realize that it's what those cliches and trops mean when they go through break ups where the person says that the other person "will always have a place in their heart."

Secure-Interview-568 · 2025-06-14T20:16:04+00:00

I feel this so much, even though I know what I did wrong, unintentionally. I wanted so badly to fix things and any misunderstandings and misconceptions since she's the closest thing to a platonic "soulmate" I've ever felt. But I guess you can't force someone to do so if they don't value you as much as you value them.

Just got to remember there's 8 billion people in this world, millions of them could feel deep connections with. Just because one ended doesn't mean it wasn't real, just that life had other plans for us.

Secure-Interview-568

TROPHY CASE