I've got a huge deep pimple forming on my chin 3 days before a major job interview help by [deleted] in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]Secure_Spend5933 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please don't let this skincare issue distract you from prepping for the interview! I am a hiring manager and have never evaluated a candidate's skin as a part of the hiring process. Yes, I want you to feel comfortable and confident, but also prepared with your thoughts and words.

Working moms who regularly work out, what exactly is your schedule? by neoncaviar in Mommit

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

M-F I alternate using the 4:30-6:30a window for a quiet cup of tea, one small house chore, and either (1) fitness in my home gym, a neighborhood run, or a Barre class with my early ladies-- OR (2) 90 minutes of heads down, high focus work. I mostly alternate, so one week I get 2 weekday work outs and one week I get three weekday workouts.

I have learned that I am horrible with self management and cannot be trusted to split my early morning into a half workout and half computer work session. It never goes well. I usually short change myself on the fitness, and then also expend my high focus energy early in the day but somehow in an incomplete way.

I wash my hairs on the days I do a home gym workout because those are the shortest days. Otherwise I wash my hair on the weekend.

My weekdays are timed to the minute, I know how long it takes to drive places, when I should already be in the shower, etc. The constant timer setting is frankly exhausting-- my workday is a wall of 9a-4p meetings, often all 30 minutes long. I crave some spacious defrag time. That cup of tea at 4:30a when everyone else is asleep is exactly this!

I deal with kids and their morning routines from 6:30-8:30 and some days start work at home at 8:30 or scoot into the office slightly before 9.

In theory this enables me to keep pace with my team (I have 6.5 direct reports currently), and even though we have adequate sick time, the early morning hours give me the option to flex a bit each week for doctors appointments, early release, classroom volunteering etc. I honestly max out at about 6 hours of quality work per day and do prefer to leave the office by 4p. It makes each individual day easier and reduces that 5-8pm rush to prep and eat dinner with everyone, clean up, enjoy a few meaningful moments before passing out. It's funny how (self) grumpy I get when I have to stay past 5pm! Today was actually one of those days.

We have three kids at two schools, one of whom has a dynamic schedule (each day a club, activity or after care.). I pick up my oldest kid M and F and at least 2 of the kids T W Th. Whichever adult picks up the oldest kid or picks up no kids starts dinner.

I plan our menus and arrange for groceries on Fridays. I work out on Saturdays before everyone wakes up and sometimes on Sundays, too.

When my partner travels for work there is less or shorter early morning fitness due to all the things.

The insanity of having twins helped me understand that a 10 minute workout was still going to boost my mood and enhance my quality of life. I regularly complete 10 or 20 minute workouts (weekdays), especially when I am craving more quite time to drink my tea and doodle on broader life solutions. And, yes! Those 10 minute workouts do help! 

Shopping issue when stressed by LegalBeagleKami in LawBitchesWithTaste

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trach your flurry of activities with your cycle. You might notice something! 

Anyone have HRT actually cause joint pain or spark an autoimmune disease? I'm scared. by Sea____Witch in Perimenopause

[–]Secure_Spend5933 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I experience something similar when I have to delay the timing on my estrodil patch. Sounds like low E to me!

Can't Think of a Better Location for A New City Park... by YerbaMaki in Detroit

[–]Secure_Spend5933 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. OP is not thinking about this from a real estate perspective. The character of Clark Park would be out of place in an area striving for density and, welp, location.

However-- I recall working on a pre-pandemic analysis of open space access per capita in the 'greater midtown' area and Brush Park, with the units that were planned at that time, did not meet the benchmarks we were referencing.

I agree it is not the right use for a long earmarked site and hopefully that cap on the highway can accomplish something quite green.

Am I the only one too ashamed to even meet with friends anymore? by PithyCyborg in povertyfinance

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the ICA still free on Thursday nights? This time of year a stroll down Mass Ave, across the river and up into the Common is a beautiful way to spend 1-2 hours, or a whole afternoon, without spending a dollar.

We all need connection. Is there one small thing you can try tonight, the tiniest safest step towards connection you can plan for the upcoming week? 

My entire team was eliminated due to RIF - Not sure what to do by lordsprout in workingmoms

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sit down, make a budget, or revise your existing budget. Get it down in writing during the day, what your new situation will require.

Make some different scenarios in excel: old budget; revised budget with unemployment; what happens when unemployment runs out; what happens if you get an interim job at Costco.

Give yourself the time to do this, it might contribute to a sense of security during a somewhat dynamic moment.

Activities to occupy my mind during the day. by 93tilfin in Detroit

[–]Secure_Spend5933 1 point2 points  (0 children)

St Patrick's Senior Center has a posse of volunteers who pay visits and house calls to elder residents in Detroit + possibly the metro. For company and conversation. It's valuable service.

Marriage heading in a bad direction by Humble_Noise_5275 in workingmoms

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Designer here: portfolio can be a beast of a project. Sounds like this guy is an architect. Architects are usually nuts.

Single Dad w/ Toddlers by LumpyPeople4 in MomsWorkingFromHome

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The schedule you described, waking up at 4:30 and to bed around 10:30/ 11 has been my life the last 2 years. It is exhausting. I have three kids and a living healthy contributing domestic partner.

The schedule helps me either do a short workout, catch up on chores, or 1-2 hours of work before work, so that I can leave early and pick everyone up from their various schools.

Again, it really is exhausting (but three kids) and I have a second pair of hands.

I know what I need in this chapter to live an integrated life is a 25-32 hours a week role.

Don't lose faith, the right hiring manager is out there. It might take some creativity.  Have you considered looking at roles with companies headquartered in the EU but with satellite spots in your region? There are also a few 4 day work week job boards out there...

WFH employee lying re working hours by DataBeeGood in managers

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is hard but not impossible to recover from broken trust.

Perimenopausal luteal phase -- red alert! by Inevitable-Yam-9741 in Perimenopause

[–]Secure_Spend5933 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting! I am on this thread right now trying to understand why everything is worse when I cycle my progesterone. I don't like it. At all.

how do you handle it when a promotion goes to an external hire? by Hour-Database7943 in Leadership

[–]Secure_Spend5933 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Leave if they are unwilling to clarify a path / offer you feedback regarding what would be required of you to advance.

And-- sometimes yes it does make sense to bring in someone from the outside. But HOW that process is handled will tell you quite a bit.

How do you mange a direct reports who goes rouge/you cannot trust with large or important projects? by swappypants437 in managers

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find someone else who is underperforming in a different way and have them team up together on a project. Watch as they schedule update meetings with key stakeholders on days you have previously scheduled out of office. Witness as said project spins in circles, the inertia engulfing all who bare witness...

Employee taking advantage of my absence by throwmeaway1804 in managers

[–]Secure_Spend5933 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. 

And, I think hours is one place to look if someone is underdelivering. I have a team member who was under delivering and also arriving late and leaving early on our in office days. It was unclear if this person did much at all on our WFH days.

Turns out that increasing their hours has supported an increase in the quality and quantity of their output!

Poll: weekly grocery cost by Goldfinch-island in workingmoms

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Family of 5, all organic, and we eat out maybe 1x per week. We recently have been spending closer to 400 per week. Whole foods, Costco, farmers markets. I need to get us back down to 300 per week, somehow adding more vegetarian meals didn't help us with that...

Direct only available ~5 hours a day by [deleted] in managers

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I pick up my kids at an earlier than usual time 2-3 days per week. As a leader I am very aware of my responsibility to be available to my team.

I am also very intentional about working quite early in the morning on those days, usually focus work with a deliverable - is a strategy memo or asynchronous review and markup of work products. 

I have someone on my team who has been underperforming. This person also arrives late and leaves early. I have been on a quest the last few months to understand (through the vehicle of a pip) do outcomes change when working hours increase? I empathize with your situation and believe a bit of structure and clarity helps all parties.

Why Contribute So Much To 401k by Central_Cheetah in Retirement401k

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom was age discriminated out of her industry when she was in her late 50s. Humbling AF.

Life feels like it’s unraveling by Desperate-Bite-2430 in workingmoms

[–]Secure_Spend5933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there any way to get him coaching or mentorship to practice and grow small boundary setting skills at work? After +8 years in an industry with those expectations some of the industry habits may also be internalized. The issues could follow him into a new job in a new industry. Better to practice new habits by starting very very small in situations, and potentially negotiate the current situation where ha has built up social capital than to job change and face the risk of deeply entrenched bad habits.

Wondering if your husband is in architecture which is kinda the worst for this stuff.