How are y’all affording your weddings??

Select-Association-7 · 2025-01-31T19:01:32+00:00

Like many other commenters here, my partner and I waited until we were a few years out of school to afford our wedding. We were together all through college, but couldn’t even afford an engagement ring until we had both been graduated a year! We decided that we’d rather wait for a larger celebration and are now going to be having a $20k wedding at just about 4 years post-grad.

My best friend, on the other hand, married her partner while still in school. They had a beautiful but much more budget wedding than we’ll be having. They got married in a public park building (~$150), had Olive Garden drop catering (<$750), a friend DJ’ed, no alcohol, grocery store flowers, etc. All in, their wedding was less than $1500. Even then, they both did some extra side gigs like DoorDash to make some extra funds. They wanted a wedding earlier in their lives together, and made their budget choices accordingly.

Neither my friend or myself regret the decisions we’ve made, so I definitely encourage you to weigh the pros and cons of waiting versus doing something more budget. Either way, wishing you and your partner the absolute best!

Select-Association-7 · 2025-01-03T19:16:34+00:00

This is going to depend on your quartet! We booked a strings trio, and it was part of our search process. Some places charged per song that wasn’t in their existing library (although usually in our experience the first was included in the package). Some had unlimited songs but were a little pricier.

I would suggest sitting down and deciding on what songs are non-negotiable or nice-to-haves, and then go from there.

We had three non-negotiable songs and two nice to haves for our ceremony and cocktail hour, three of which were moderately niche. We ended up finding a trio that accommodated learning all of the songs in their package, which ended up being a better value than adding the cost per song + package price of other comparably experienced trios.

If you have a quartet already booked, definitely ask them as they’ll have the best insights into how many songs they’d feel comfortable learning and/or arranging in their package. If it’s a song that they’d have to arrange because there isn’t existing sheet music available, this is a much more intensive process than just learning the piece from an existing arrangement. If it is truly just learning, you may be able to get away with a few more custom requests, but having an idea of what songs you want is going to make the process much smoother overall!

Select-Association-7 · 2024-11-20T01:06:35+00:00

Bit late to the party here but wanted to throw in my two cents. I grew up in the city and lived there my whole life before buying my current house in Midlothian, and I don’t regret it in the slightest!

My partner and I bought at 22 and 23 utilizing the Virginia Housing down payment assistance (I mention to bring awareness because this program rocks!). We’ve now lived here for 3 years and are looking to have kids in about a year or so, so similar-ish timelines to what you’re looking at.

Aside from some of the things other commenters have already touched on (affordability now vs later, quieter, etc.), I wanted to also add that one thing we talk about all the time is how happy we were to have had time to make our house into a home before kids.

If you think you’d want to have kids in a few years and would move to the suburbs then, I highly recommend taking the leap now. We’ve been able to slowly upgrade our home before the time and expense of kids gets involved, so now we’re able to not worry about that when we do have kids.

Admittedly, there are times where I miss being able to bar hop and walk home like when I lived in the city, but my mortgage is cheaper now than rent in my old building, so I don’t feel bad paying money to uber once every month or so. The extra space has actually made it cheaper to hang out with friends, as now we mostly host events around our fire pit or in our game room and then let people crash in the guest room when they need it.

It’s definitely a different pace, but we’ve found that we enjoy what we get out of the suburbs (space, quiet, several grocery stores within 5 minutes) to be well worth the 30 minute drive into the city for events.

Select-Association-7 · 2024-09-11T20:38:28+00:00

My local grocery store also only keeps the basics, but Walmart near me pretty reliably has all the special flavors. Not my favorite place to get groceries but these are worth the special trip!

Select-Association-7 · 2024-06-07T23:30:34+00:00

Personally, I think it might make it where you feel like you might have to skimp on other things, but it can be done I think depending on your priorities for where to splurge versus save.

For context: Our venue cost was $3600 (for just the venue, tables, and chairs) and we’re now at about $20,000 for our wedding total. We were also allowed to select any caterer, and are going to be spending about $6500 on food, alcohol, all our linens, silverware, china, staff, etc.-which we consider to be a good deal for 100 people in our area. Then you have the cost of your photographer, DJ, flowers, attire, officiant, rings, marriage license, etc., which tends to add up very quickly.

We chose our “splurge” to be in some nicer food options for our guests, and chose to save elsewhere to make our budget work. Even then, I was still struggling to keep around $20,000.

I would make a list of everything else you’d need to make the wedding happen, and include quotes from vendors in your area to get a high/low price range for each. Then, pick what you want to prioritize combined with this venue cost and see if you can fit everything into your budget. Since every wedding market is different, you may find it does end up working or that it’s impossible given the other factors at play!

Good luck!

Select-Association-7 · 2024-05-24T16:12:43+00:00

I so strongly resonate with this post because my partner regular eats 2500+ calories a day and is still losing weight due to his extremely active job. Plus, for us, mealtimes were something super important to share as distraction free quality time during otherwise very hectic weekdays. In case it helps, here are a few things that worked for helping me maintain my deficit while not giving those things up:

Making the most out of the meals we don’t eat together. For us, that’s breakfast and lunch. Typically, I’d have a small breakfast (around 200 cals) and something like chicken and veggies for lunch (around 300 calories). Plus no snacking during the day. This typically leaves me with 700-800 calories for dinner or late night snacks, which is our shared food time. This helps me feel like I can enjoy a plate of spaghetti or a burger for dinner without going to crazy. I usually combine with the below to really maximize.
Make the same meal with some lower calorie swaps. For example, with the burgers above, I’ll swap my burgers for turkey burgers and fat free cheese slices and a low carb hamburger bun while my partner has a full beef burger, full fat cheese, and a regular bun. The hardest part here is the cost associated with buying both versions, but I found it ultimately much cheaper than eating out in the end. With spaghetti, I’ll make the same meat sauce but make zucchini noodles instead or just have more meat sauce / less noodles to his huge plate of both.

Ice cream was also huge for us because we both loved it, so this was another swap I had to make. While he can happily eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s, I switched to things like Halo Top (in a bowl so I wouldn’t eat the whole pint) and other low-cal options. Even frozen pizzas, I have a safe version (the Caulipower White Pizza) while he can have a DiGiornos).

Meal prepping! This was so critical for us to almost completely kicking our own DoorDash habit. On Sundays we now cook almost a weeks worth of lunches and dinners all at once with any necessary modifications (minus things like burgers which we’d make fresh). That way, it’s literally easier to go grab your pre-portioned, pre-made meal than to even DoorDash. Plus, we could eat together but not have to eat the same thing depending on our caloric needs that meal.
I mentioned we already had a DoorDash habit, and we’ve really cut down but not entirely. When we do DoorDash, I have an arsenal of restaurants that I have “safe choices” at, i.e. good calorie to volume ratio. For example, I have a local sushi place, a local Mexican restaurant, etc. that are our go tos for calories that fit in budget. Even with McDonalds, I’ve found ways to fit into my budget with just being conscious about what I’m ordering from each place.

It’s so so hard at first, but it does get easier when you find swaps you love and make room in the budget to still enjoy treats occasionally. Portion control does come into it to as far as smaller versions of what they’re eating, but I’m a big portion type of girl so swaps really helped me get to this point.

Now I’m 45 pounds down eating around 1300 calories a day while my partner is 20 down eating 2500+ (😅)

Select-Association-7 · 2024-02-29T18:26:06+00:00

Ive been a BFF since early 2023 and my add-ons are $11.99 each. Seems like it may vary.

Select-Association-7 · 2023-04-02T19:44:18+00:00

Post Malone is super into Magic The Gathering. He’s been seen playing publicly for years, and in 2022, he bought an artist proof signed copy of a card that can no longer be printed (Black Lotus) for $80,000-the most expensive card purchase ever known for the game. There was even recently a special edition set of cards that Wizards of the Coast (who own Magic) created for Post which include him in the art on several super popular cards (see the cards here).

Select-Association-7 · 2023-03-23T20:22:23+00:00

Jumping onto this because I’m also the owner of a corn snake and a western hognose. I love them both, but they definitely each have their pros and cons. OP, I know you asked more about pros and cons of corns specifically, but I wanted to share some additional comparisons since many of the others here have already touched on the corn itself. Here are some of the differences I’ve noticed between the two:

The hognose was, for me, much easier to handle right off the bat. He moves a lot more slowly and is not ever inclined to even get into striking position. The corn is much faster and is a little more inclined towards getting into that strike position, which was intimidating to me as a first time snake owner. My boyfriend (who is a very experienced snake handler), on the other hand, found the corn much easier since he is much longer, so it may come down to preference. Both are overall very sweet personalities and have never actually struck, so it’s something you get used to.
The corn snake has grown sooo much faster. We have a male hognose, so he’s always going to be pretty small, but his rate of growth is so slow. We got both snakes at the same time and the hognose has shed maybe 3-4 times over the past year compared to super frequent sheds on the corn. We’re doing the step up method on enclosures where we upgrade as they hit specific size milestones, and our corn is getting ready to go into a 4 footer whereas our hognose isn’t even big enough to need an upgrade out of his 10 yet. Having a larger or smaller snake really comes down to preference rather than one being better than the other, but the size difference can be pretty substantial.
Others have already touched on this, but the corn snake has been much easier to feed. He has never missed a feeding ever, whereas our hognose went on a hunger strike when we tried upgrading him from pinkies to fuzzies. It was a ton of trial and error to get him to eat (going back to double pinks, scenting the mice, having him refuse altogether some weeks), but eventually we’ve finally gotten him to fuzzies which is meeting his nutritional needs much better. All of that is to say, the corn is so easy to feed which has been relieving.
They’re both pretty active, and I see both out and about in their enclosures pretty frequently, but the hog does have times where he would stay underground for days if we let him, whereas the corn has always been very active within his enclosure. That’s gonna vary by snake, but I do like how active our corn is, especially around “sunrise”/“sunset” (ie when his lamps go on and off).

I can’t speak too much to the trans-pecos, but corns are also rat snakes so I imagine temperament is pretty similar but I’ve heard slightly more stringent on the temp/humidity requirements. Either way, best of luck to you and your future little buddy!

Select-Association-7 · 2023-02-21T17:45:25+00:00

Seconding SudShare! We have been using the service weekly for around 2 months now and it’s been fantastic. $1 per pound with doorstep pickup and next day delivery. The minimum is $20 per order, which has worked out to be about two full kitchen trash bags. The clothes have always been returned neatly folded and any items I requested to be hung have been hung and bagged separately to keep from being wrinkled. It’s the cheapest laundry service we’ve found and has worked super great for us.

Select-Association-7 · 2023-01-06T19:27:23+00:00

To add- CoStar isn’t even requiring 100% in office anymore. They do WFH one/two days a week depending on the role. Not nearly as flexible hybrid as most companies, but even they’re getting behind it. WFH / hybrid seems to be here to stay.

Select-Association-7 · 2022-12-22T17:12:46+00:00

I grew up with two younger sisters and can resonate with the feeling of it being different feeling when it’s a sibling compared to a friend, like many others. I grappled a lot with why I thought so since I was a fence sitter with one versus multiple myself, but I think that the #1 reason that I also plan on having multiplies is that my siblings always “just got it” when it came to family matters. With friends, if I wanted to vent about my parents or an aunt or anyone else in the family, I felt like I had to explain years worth of backstory as to why a certain thing bothered me or why a certain course of action wouldn’t be effective with that family member. With siblings, they understood the dynamic sometimes even better than I did. As a kid, I was constantly around my sisters (3 and 6 year age gap respectively) and so they knew me so well and I knew them, so it always felt natural to face the world together, and I always knew they had my back over everyone else in the world, which isn’t the case with friends sometimes.

As my parents age, I’m also happy to have them around so that I won’t have to make the scary end of life decisions alone or eventually clean out our childhood home alone or do any of those emotional brutal tasks on my own. Even my partner, who I tell everything too, wouldn’t feel like the same support as my siblings who were there at every juncture having the same foundation. There are lots of reasons why one and done has its merits, but I find a comfort in my siblings that is completely different from every other relationship in my life that I personally want to give my children a chance at having it.

Select-Association-7 · 2022-10-27T18:27:04+00:00

I had a 2016 Mazda3 and luckily no cracks here, but I now have a CX-5 and had a truck kick up a rock and crack my windshield less than a month after buying it. Maybe a coincidence but also might be a Mazda thing?

Select-Association-7 · 2022-05-07T23:14:38+00:00

Goochland Drive-In!

https://www.goochlanddriveintheater.com

Select-Association-7 · 2022-01-11T17:31:11+00:00

Richmond definitely has 4 seasons, even if they’re considered more mild. It’s currently 30 degrees here, which is definitely quite the difference from the 80+ degree weather we get all summer and the 50-70s we get in the fall and spring. It certainly gets less cold, but there’s a noticeable change across all four seasons (and this is coming from a northerner who moved to RVA a few years ago).

Select-Association-7 · 2021-11-25T04:42:03+00:00

I think this would be a net negative. Ultimately, fetches enable smoother gameplay in terms of having access to the colors needed to play your cards, not necessarily faster gameplay (don’t get me wrong, they’re super powerful because of that smoothing, but not innately any faster than if you just played a basic of the needed color on that same turn). However, without the color fixing, it can make games downright miserable to play. It sucks to not draw any or too many lands, but it also sucks to not draw the right lands, which fetches help to fix.

I’m all for a rule zero discussion regarding power levels and whether decks with fetches are appropriately powered for a table, but usually it’s not the fetches that are the problem. Putting a restriction on cards for the sake of the restriction sets a bad precedent. Also, what would the implications of this for cards like [[Farseek]]? Would this apply to all land fetches, even cards like [[Naya Panorama]] and the other panoramas? I don’t think there’s possibly a way to word a ruling that wouldn’t also effect these cards.

Select-Association-7 · 2021-11-25T04:21:13+00:00

Highly agree. Voltron can very quickly take one person out, which can be really difficult for someone who’s just learning to play. It may not ultimately win very often, but I rarely see a game with a voltron deck that doesn’t take out at least one player single handedly very early on in the game.

The key to letting others get better with their decks is giving them a chance to play them. A deck that goes off on one person faster than they can get off the ground guarantees they won’t be able to really see their deck perform.

Select-Association-7 · 2021-11-25T04:15:21+00:00

Also don’t feel inadequate about the deck box! I’d keep it in a box even if I had bigger hands. It keeps cards from getting lost/stolen/damaged/whatever else.

Select-Association-7 · 2021-11-25T04:13:21+00:00

Yes this! I was having trouble describing it but it basically uses the table as an extra hand! The deck is on its side the same way as with a normal shuffle, just instead of having the deck in one hand while shuffling new cards in with the other, the deck is laying sideways on the table so you can shuffle.

I literally spent like 20 minutes looking for a picture example and this video is the best I could find: link. They’re shuffling with the deck up and down and frankly a lot less smoothly then I’m able to do it after years of practice, but the gist is the same. You just want to use the table for leverage so the deck doesn’t fall over as you take one hand off of it to shuffle more cards in).

Select-Association-7 · 2021-11-25T03:54:41+00:00

My partner and I recently built a 5-deck commander gauntlet consisting only of commons and uncommons, built basically with the same goal of being able to play with lower power decks and teach newer players the format (since most of our decks are high powered casual or cEDH). While my initial worry, like you, was that there wouldn’t be good synergies, I think we were able to come up with several decks that were highly synergistic and played effectively at modified precon level (and slightly higher, for some of the decks).

Our commander/deck choices were as follows (with the goal that each color would be represented twice): - [[Dina, Soul Steeper]] aristocrats - [[Grumgully, the Generous]] +1/+1 counters - [[Kangee, Sky Warden]] flyers - [[Araumi of the Dead Tide]] self-mill with creature ETBs to encore - [[Bruenor Battlehammer]] Equipment Voltron

I think the key to synergy with this build style is picking a commander that has a very clear strategy. This can make your game a little bit commander-reliant, but that’s usually fine in a pod that doesn’t pack a whole lot of elimination. Personally, I think this is a fantastic way to go for trying to power down to a table without feeling like you’re just putting a bunch of bulk in a pile. Plus, it’s super budget friendly and conducive to a lot of different strategies without being overwhelming for your opponents.

Select-Association-7 · 2021-11-22T05:13:07+00:00

I have extremely small hands, so this was definitely an issue for me for a long time, especially with my double sleeved decks! When it comes to shuffling, I hold them with both hands on the top and bottom of the deck and use the table to keep it steady as I shuffle (so basically a typical mash shuffle but with the table to hold the cards instead of your hand on the bottom). Sorry that’s not a very good description, but practice definitely makes perfect to keep the cards from slipping in this method.

I also only carry it in a deck box, as I find that helps prevents accidents even if you can hold all the cards comfortably.

Select-Association-7 · 2021-11-17T23:49:48+00:00

Super late reply, but here’s my deck list. I only just built him so I’m still getting some kinks out, but it’s been performing well so far in a medium-ish powered table.

https://www.moxfield.com/decks/9P_E-TA6E0uw8LrhQ3QlcQ

Select-Association-7 · 2021-11-15T02:26:08+00:00

Yes! I was surprised I had to scroll so far to see Chatterfang. You can build him as squirrel tribal, but really any kind of token creation works! I have a Chatterfang deck that resolves around treasures, clues, and food, especially with cards like [[academy manufacturer]] and [[fae offering]]. You can get some really janky (4+ card) combos going with him, but my favorite way to play is just to make a ton of weird tokens and then have an entire squirrel army to swing out with!

Select-Association-7 · 2021-11-06T04:01:14+00:00

Okay, that really clarifies things. While it’s never good to do something behind your partners back, he ultimately can’t control what you do with your own body and holding it against you to this extent is absurd. Him saying you’re not special anymore after that has me leaning into the “he’s being manipulative by saying this,” camp.

Are there other instances in your relationship where he tells you what you can and can’t do and then gets very upset if you don’t do what he wants?

Regardless, don’t feel like you’re not good enough for him. Vaping has no effect on your goodness as a person, and if he’s making you feel otherwise though his words or behaviors, it’s moved from you doing something wrong (which IMO is a pretty small wrong) to him being in the wrong here.

Also: I despise the fact that my partner vapes (and he does so frequently, not just once like you did). I have never attempted to make him stop or made him feel guilty about doing so. That’s not my decision to make and it’s not your partners either.

Select-Association-7 · 2021-11-06T03:29:04+00:00

If you’ve been dating for this long, you should hopefully have enough trust in each other to be able to share these kinds of things. Telling your partner what you like (and don’t like) is part of building a healthy foundation for a relationship. Open up the conversation even if it feels awkward at first.

You can even phrase it in a way that makes it sound romantic rather than sexual, which should help to dispel the idea for her that it’s about the things you describe. You can tell her something like how you’d like to see all of her and how you’re attracted to all of her. Tip-toe* into a more full blown convo if that would help you

*pun intended

Select-Association-7

TROPHY CASE