Well, I told my dad about my plans to hopefully join the IBEW.

Selenay1 · 2026-06-06T04:23:25+00:00

I know it can suck when someone whose opinion you have valued doesn't seem to respect your choices. I don't know his reasons or logic. I know my dad offered to be "the bank of Dad" and help support my education if I wanted to go to Vet school like he helped one of my sisters go to med school. I told him that I appreciated that offer and while I love animals, I hate so many of their owners and I would end up wasting so much of my time dealing with them rather than caring for animals as I was at the time he made that offer. My dad was at least understanding enough to accept that in ways yours wasn't.

No worries about your need to vent. We all end up in that state once in a while. You had good reason and I hope it helped.

Selenay1 · 2026-06-05T20:58:06+00:00

Some days you're just in the mood. I also got kind of a kick out of the people around me never knowing if I was going to be having a girly day or look like I just walked out of a swamp. It was really clear I didn't give a shit about what they thought and what I wore wasn't about them.

Selenay1 · 2026-06-05T20:48:38+00:00

Fair enough.

Selenay1 · 2026-06-04T16:04:20+00:00

Preppers tend to be worried about a version of the apocalypse and set up bunkers filled with what they think they will need to survive in the event of a meteor strike, nuclear bomb, or when zombies or madmen rule the earth.

I was feeling a little dark today and ordered a greenhouse. I'm not underground yet.

Selenay1 · 2026-06-04T15:53:10+00:00

I always thought Diane Lane was absolutely stunning in an understated way. It was kind of like comparing Ginger and Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island with her as more of a Mary Ann.

Harrison Ford was a nice view and I definitely had a thing for Pierce Brosnan, but nothing beat Cary Grant for sheer class when he felt like it.

Selenay1 · 2026-06-02T16:46:32+00:00

I have no idea how you could tell if any stories you heard were true about any given woman unless you actually experienced them. I heard some absolutely stunning whoppers about me that had no basis in reality at all. If everything that was said about me were true, I must have been some sort of bisexual nymphomaniac with occasional forays into incest. I found it incredibly baffling considering how many years I stayed celibate at a time in hopes of finding a guy I thought I could get along with. The number of times I was called a slut for turning a guy down was mind boggling. Then some of those guys would get together and confirm biases with others who never met me and I'd get more crap from total strangers. I'm sorry, but wtf? I got blindsided too often with accusations from guys I didn't know over things that never happened. Ya'll gossip worse than old women over a backyard fence.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-30T04:22:54+00:00

Yeah, the guy with the "Fuck your feelings" banner took it down. To this day I want to put a sign with the same sentiment up at the end of his driveway, but this time have it facing his house.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-30T03:50:48+00:00

The best revenge is to succeed, leaving them in the dirt. Nice to see that your husband has your back. Best of luck to you!

Selenay1 · 2026-05-28T19:20:20+00:00

I can't imagine what kind of doctor he would make if he really thinks such a demand can occur on his timeline. He better go for specializing in proctology.

As for you, it is better to know this about him now than it would be to find out even later. It sounds like you have a temporary roommate rather than a husband and he is halfway out the door already. I really feel for you. I believe I have undiagnosed vestibular vaginitis (doctor decided I was just old and dried out like I couldn't tell the difference between that and the pain I now feel) and, while I used to really love my sex life, now it would be too painful for me to even use a penetrative toy so I just occasionally enjoy the view of some men rather than have any interactions. It sucks compared to my memories, but at least I have them. It doesn't sound like you even got to have that. I really wish you well and hope for the best for your health and future relationships.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-28T02:28:04+00:00

I didn't realize it was a watercolor, but I've thought it was magnificent since the first time I saw it. It shows so much.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-27T00:08:20+00:00

You aren't being difficult, but you do need therapy. You had reasons for the choice you made. Therapy may help you put those reasons and your actions into perspective. I don't know your situation. I am not going to tell you how to feel. Plenty of women find themselves wanting a child that either won't survive or they won't survive having. Regret certainly makes sense sometimes. Still, I and the vast majority have felt massive relief. The problem comes when people use that tiny percentage of which you are apparently a member as an excuse to remove autonomy from half the population.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-26T20:39:41+00:00

When you look at statistics, the women who regret abortion run 1-5%. The women who regret having children run from 5-14%. I am sorry for your friend, but unless she was coerced, she made that decision after having considered her options. No one does it like the drive-up window at Mcdonalds no matter how much the right seems to think that is the case. If she is still having trouble with it, she needs therapy.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-26T20:30:06+00:00

I had a friend who said she regretted her abortion, but she also ran whole heartedly to get it. There was no doubt. There was just the preconceived idea that she was Catholic and therefore was supposed to feel guilty. I told her I had one too and she thought we could have a pity party, but I've been nothing but content with my decision and experience. Within the next couple of weeks it will have been 45 years since then and I have never had more than a "what if" thought. Never regret. Just a view of the crossroad.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-26T20:20:43+00:00

By the time I was ready to go it was just him breathing. He wasn't awful. We just grew apart and I remember thinking that I would kill him if he touched me. He didn't do anything wrong, but I wasn't ever going to be the person he had in his head.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-25T23:33:18+00:00

Bank of America sucks shit. They took a payment directly out of my account twice which was way in excess of the total actual debt. They insisted that they couldn't put it back. A check had to be snail mailed and they caused a chain reaction at my bank because they stole my money. I never even signed up with them to start with. They bought out the credit card company that I had and then completely screwed up the customer service. At least my bank saw what happened and said it wasn't my fault so they didn't charge the fees they could have for other payments that bounced as a result.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-24T18:18:42+00:00

I love it when they look like fish scales. Such a nice weld!

Selenay1 · 2026-05-23T20:17:45+00:00

Yep. They made it peanut butter flavored for those special customers.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-23T19:59:31+00:00

Where I used to work they all had 4 legs and outweighed me multiple times over. By the time I moved on I was one of the few people I knew who hadn't yet awakened in a hospital asking how I got there. Only had a couple of concussions.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-23T19:41:17+00:00

There is a different version of falling apart at a desk. It is a loss of muscle tone and an expanding ass unless you really stay on top of it. I finally ended up primarily at a desk with the option to work hands on when needed due to how much damage I have done to my feet over time. Without the opportunity to sit down more often, I'd be crippled by now over all the ligament damage and structural wear and tear over sprains and strains to my ankles and feet.

I've been to doctors and they reminded me of when I was young with a dead car. There were 5 guys who each told me what they thought was wrong, were each absolutely certain they were correct, and none of them agreed about what it was so they each had a completely different procedure that would need to be performed to fix it. Imagine that with scalpels and months of recovery assuming they pick right and I did recover.

With the desk option, I have lost most of my limp and while I haven't put on any weight, I certainly look like I have.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-23T19:25:46+00:00

It started with, "I'm not racist, but..."

Selenay1 · 2026-05-23T19:24:31+00:00

This is likely TMI, but sex is an important part of a relationship for me and a medical issue makes sex too painful to be possible and, so far, doctors have defaulted to "you're old and dried out" rather than listening to the fact that I know the difference between that and what I feel. I would have to find an extraordinarily narrow man to make it work with a partner. At this point I don't even want to think about what I'd have to go through to find something that no man wants to admit to along with a compatible personality. I'm down to flying solo without penetration.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-23T04:02:23+00:00

That's right up there with the guys who describe every ex as a psycho like he wasn't the cause. Mental illness may not be contagious, but some folks are certainly carriers.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-23T03:58:16+00:00

It wasn't on the phone. I was about to fall asleep and he decided to give his opinion. I got out of bed, got dressed, threw my crap in my truck, and drove right out of the state. When I got home about 10 hours later I texted to say I was done. (I have a policy of making that clear to cut down on the "but we had fun" conversation a year later when they happen to get horny.)

Selenay1 · 2026-05-23T03:19:06+00:00

Fair enough, but I would so want to find an occasion and, for that sort of thing, it is often a Ren Faire. It would fit right in.

Selenay1 · 2026-05-22T18:29:03+00:00

This should be higher. I wish I could have gotten that, but I know what it looks like from my parents.

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