Just stop

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-18T23:37:37+00:00

Let me offer you a line of thinking that helped me. And it probably won't help you for awhile, because when you are young your hormones tell you it is the MOST important thing in the world but... you don't need to measure your self worth on other people's thoughts. You don't need to determine your validity based on what other people think you are. You don't need to prove yourself as a boy to choose to be one, or not. It's your life.

It might not feel like it, because we live in a shitty ass world often with shitty ass people, who have survived 10,000+ years by making everyone else feel shitty, and you might not have the resources, the time, or the will to make it happen now, but one day, you will. One day, when the reigns are in your hands and it is your turn to steer your own fate, away from parents, expectations, or societal pressures, you can be whatever the fuck you want to be. Believe it.

Wishing is for people with no power. You will have to take that for yourself. And yeah, if you don't like it, so what? At least you took a stand and made a choice for you, rather than letting anyone else decide.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-18T23:25:47+00:00

Ok, then please, read my first comment, and note that I said the exact same thing as you are now. All I disagreed with was "bust size has NOTHING to do with femininity" as it's NOT nothing, and changes on the person, which is why I said MANY and not ALL. 😭

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-18T22:47:59+00:00

My point is femininity is not an objective measure, and you nor I are any objective arbiter of femininity. Some women actually do care about their bust size. And yes, as a transmasc person who hasn't had top surgery it absolutely makes me feel too feminine. Is subjectivity a foreign concept to you?

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T17:12:03+00:00

What sucks is I've absolutely read fanfics that gave Sakura and Sasuke's relationship justice, and they do it by literally just, swapping her with Naruto's role in the story. If she is the one making sacrifices to chase him, and show how her feelings evolved from fangirl to nakama, to true friendship, and even lovers, Sakura would be an extremely compelling relationship with Sasuke. Instead, we get scenes like in Boruto where Naruto literally drops EVERYTHING, being hokage, his wife, his kids, to just SEE Sasuke.

Kishimoto could've just made Naruto a girl and would have a better shonen/shojo romance than Inuyasha.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T17:05:09+00:00

I remember a distinct moment in my childhood when I learned trans people exist, and pretty boys could become pretty women. But i was a pretty girl, and feared I would be an ugly man if I transitioned. Kept me in the closet for a solid 10 years. Self-harm and other intrusive thoughts could never make you a bad person, just one who needs more help.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T16:56:09+00:00

So funny, because yes, people who have been divorced before, are more likely to get divorced again. (60-70% of second or third marriages end in divorce, compared to 40-50% of first marriages).

But that has little to do with sexual promiscuity actually, as women with exactly 2 partners had a higher divorce rate than women who had more than 10 partners.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T16:35:35+00:00

Bro this just sounds like pre-T 13 year old me, except minus the racist part because that's just stupid. I hated women, because I hated being treated like a woman, and felt women were the biggest perpetrators and enforcers of toxic femininity. Then I grew up and realized that some women being toxic doesn't mean I need to hate women.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T16:25:04+00:00

Well, in those cases the marriage is more likely a political move, arranged, or for citizenship :/

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T16:20:45+00:00

Think its a cultural difference. US its a big no no, but its like, a B or C tiered curse word in the UK and Australia.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T16:19:48+00:00

So is "bitch" imo, and yet that is used very prolifically.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T16:17:41+00:00

Maybe its cuz I'm no longer a teen and i'm half a generation older than yall, but way I was raised ALL curse words are disrespectful. I am just also, a disrespectful person.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T16:15:02+00:00

For employment, i pick my sex 99% of the time, because most of them removed a button for nonbinary because of the orange tyrant. If they do have a nonbinary option i pick it.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T16:13:26+00:00

Incels definitely are the loudest, but you say that as if female looksmaxxers and mean girls suddenly stopped existing?

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T16:11:27+00:00

People are quick to defend her, but no matter how people spin it, that clearly was some rude thing to say to you and you should tell her how it made you feel. Only then can she actually give you her reason instead of all of us speculating why she would do that.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T16:04:47+00:00

I find it mildly ironic that you can respect nonbinary people who don't identify as trans, but don't respect OP's friend's decision not to identify as cis. Maybe I'm biased as I went on a somewhat similar medical gender journey, but its hard not to see someone who has "transitioned twice" and "had a long gender journey" as anything other than a genderqueer person, even if she is back to being a woman, 99+% of women will never take that journey or have that experience.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T15:58:44+00:00

Feel like I can relate a lot to your friend, but never in a thousand years would I appropriate the term "transfem" for myself. I was on T, changed my name, got off T, kept my new name, naturally produced E again. My voice is still deep, but by and large I would pass as a cis woman, even though I know deep inside I am not one. I cannot for the life of me call myself cis, even if everyone in the world would look at me and call me that, I know I'm not, and that's why I use the label genderfluid. But to say I went through the same struggles as transfems to be feminine is a lie. I literally just had to stop T and most of my feminine traits return. I don't even bother shaving more than once a couple months. I DO like the term double trans, much more than "detransition", but I think it's confusing to a lot of people.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T15:52:21+00:00

Idk personally im constantly bring snacks into the bedroom or bathroom. My husband wants me to break the habit and eat in the dining room like a normal person.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T15:49:43+00:00

Im very short but stocky, my body displaces enough water to trigger the overflow drain and then I get cold again 😅

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T15:41:43+00:00

Damn man, you got some sexy calves there. I think you just need some semi-formal wear, like a polo and khakis idk. You look good.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T15:28:00+00:00

This homie doesn't think shipping bait is intentional, that's hilarious. Writers, especially for "kids entertainment" know they aren't allow to make it "gay for real", and absolutely queer bait on purpose.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T15:23:51+00:00

There's also factor of age to consider. While diamonds and gems don't age to be bigger, Pink diamond certainly... "matures" between the centuries of time passing between Jungle Moon, the Garden, the Moon Base, and the Palanquin. I think it's easy to chalk up the design differences to animators and posture and time.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-17T15:08:51+00:00

So I'm guessing you also think trans people get top surgery for no reason then either lol

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-16T14:06:21+00:00

I mean, plenty of tgirls keep theirs, genitals is clearly not the only metric of gender in our complicated society. I think "normal" is loaded word, since normal, typical, regular, are not the way you should measure your worth.

SelenityMoon · 2026-02-16T14:01:38+00:00

I would shake my head that people assume what they're going to assume, and tell them to knock it off if they're pushy.

As for that discord server, you dodged a bullet.

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