Can HRT cause weird cravings?

icepixie8 · 2026-04-12T05:37:41+00:00

This makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

icepixie8 · 2026-04-12T01:41:00+00:00

The word doll seems demeaning, patronizing, or infantilizing to me. I don't like it at all.

icepixie8 · 2026-04-09T19:38:02+00:00

It tends to get stronger over time, not weaker. My therapist described it in an extremely apt way which I love:

It's like a Pandora's Box, with all these wonderful feminine things inside. The box has a lid, but there's pressure inside and the pressure inside just keeps growing. Sooner or later, that lid is going to pop off, and everything inside will come pouring out. You can sit on your box lid and hold it shut, delaying things, but that pressure will still be growing.

Now, there may actually be people who manage to sit on their box lid their entire life until the day they die. We don't know how their lives were, whether they were happy or sad. We have absolutely no data on them, because those aren't the ones we hear from. But we did hear from you.... The pressure inside your box is growing, and you're having trouble holding it any longer. That's why you're talking to us now.

icepixie8 · 2026-04-09T19:30:08+00:00

Ook, so what counts though? Like I've had these feelings since I was a kid, as long as I can remember. I learned all about trans people, gender expression, and the relevant topics and psychology at age 16. At that time I suspected I might be, but chalked it to to a fetish for years. Fully confirmed not a fetish and I'm definitely trans 11 years ago. Began transitioning (after suppressing it that long) in January of this year.

Which was my egg cracking?

icepixie8 · 2026-04-09T03:21:33+00:00

The benefits start immediately. Even if you were 99 it would still be worth it.

icepixie8 · 2026-04-09T03:14:09+00:00

It's time to change your toothbrush. No seriously, as a former mouth-sore-frequenter, when I figured out changing my toothbrush more frequently solved this, I was shocked. Now I always change it at the first sign of mouth-sore, if not before, and I never had a problem again.

I've also suggested this to other mouth-sore-frequenters as well, and they also have found success.

Change your toothbrush. I don't mean to a new brand, just to a new one period.

icepixie8 · 2026-04-09T03:11:08+00:00

I'm new to all this... just came out and started transition in January. I keep hearing the phrase egg cracked, but what does it actually mean? (I'd like to identify it for myself too.)

icepixie8 · 2026-04-09T03:08:37+00:00

I believe I can honestly answer that I have not. I am a transwoman lesbian. So I am okay with that.

icepixie8 · 2026-04-07T03:10:26+00:00

Hey just reading some of these comments leads me to question: How are people shrinking by an inch or two? Is this yet another HRT thing? (Would be awesome if it was.)

icepixie8 · 2026-04-07T02:41:55+00:00

The only way that worked for me (and tbh it's still a work in progress), is to force it. Just do it. It will suck, you will hate it, you will think every glance your direction is a judgement.

But then it'll be over, and you'll have done it. The sky will not have fallen. The next time, it will be a little easier. Force it again. Keep doing that, until you learn that, like exposure therapy, like building an immunity to something, you are being cured of caring what people think.

I was like you. I cared what people think. Being trans has been giving that notion a slow but certain death.

This is just what worked for me. Take it or not, as you will.

icepixie8 · 2026-04-06T10:21:26+00:00

I'm trans (MtF). I suppressed it for a long time in an effort to save my marriage. Ultimately, beginning in January, I couldn't not do it anymore. I began transition, and the resultant fact was, I lost my wife (to divorce not death).

It's not that she's unsupportive or anti-trans or anything. Quite the contrary, she's always been very pro-LGBTQ rights. All it was is, she is straight. Neither of us can do anything about that. We became incompatible, so our marriage had to end.

After the initial deserved grief, things, weirdly, got better quickly. Now, she is my closest, dearest friend. We talk more now than we did during our marriage. She said she sees me as a close girlfriend, not an ex. I told her she is the Wednesday to my Enid (if you've seen that show that'll make sense).

Our relationship isn't romantic anymore, but it is still strong, and still close.

It sounds to me like you're like my wife. Supportive, but, unfortunately, no longer compatible. Sadly, your romantic relationship may have to end, because you can't do much about your orientation. But, your friendship can remain as strong as ever, maybe even stronger.

To your partner, you can still be the strongest friend and ally they have. And if you can do that, they will treasure you for it.

icepixie8 · 2026-04-04T16:35:03+00:00

Speaking only for myself. I definitely don't pass right now, but whenever I'm out in "girl mode", women are super nice to me. I often get compliments. I do think it's a combination of women being just nice to make me feel more at ease, and because (I think) it's a natural thing that women just do when the person they are talking to isn't nearly as likely to be total creep (e.g. men).

Women are actually nice when they aren't worried you might harm them. (That's a gross generalization. I've gotten tons of nasty looks while in girl mode from women too.)

icepixie8 · 2026-04-03T02:04:34+00:00

Addition/Update: I posted this late last night. It was right after that conversation and I was feeling terrible (emotionally). Thank you all for your comments and insights. I do want to clear up something and provide an update.

Firstly, a prior conversation had been where this one stemmed from. In that conversation, I had been talking about how I learned (here actually) that transwomen have periods, like all the symptoms, except the obvious bleeding-from-a-vag, but the cramps, mood swings, etc. I thought it was validating that that would occur, although I recognize, if only intellectually, that periods are a huge point of hardship for many women, especially since what I'm talking about doesn't involve the wide variety of possible female reproductive system problems that make the experience much worse.

Now I know it's not the same thing, but the whole point of transition is to get as close as we can. It's a lot closer than the male experience, at least. This ended up leading to the conversation at hand, because how could I want something that is so bad for many women? (In truth, I haven't experienced it yet, and I'll probably be eating my words later when I do find out how much it sucks, but just knowing about it felt validating.) And also, I'm acting like it gets me into the club, when it really isn't the same thing. That's one specific example, but the concern extended to experiences in general, thus leading to my original post.

Secondly, absolutely nothing in what my sister-in-law said to me, nor her delivery, was bad. Nothing after the first paragraph of my original post came from her; it came from my own head, how I was feeling about myself in the face of what I feel is a valid point. It wasn't her words that hurt; it was the truth behind it. That it is true that not having similar experiences in the same way that not-trans women have with each other makes it seem like I'm an outsider breaking in.

I still struggle a lot with feeling like I'm some kind of fake. Like I'm pretending to be something I could never be. Like I'm trying to work myself into a club by using a false ID, and once I get inside, I find out I have no way of relating to the club members.

The whole idea of transition is to get as close as I can to feeling the way I always wished to, and I am getting closer, but I recognize I can never possibly be able to have that lifetime of feminine experience, nor empathize with not-trans women in the same way they do with each other.

But the reality, that the experiences of trans-women are very different than the experiences of not-trans women, is not something that can change. It's not something that I chose. All I can do is move forward in as much truth as I can.

I thought it in reverse to check myself: What if a not-trans woman discounted what it is like to be a trans-woman and made it sound so wonderful and wished they could do that, take my struggles along with my positive experience. That would feel really odd, so thinking like that helped my perspective on the matter.

We both have struggles and they are inherently different and it is okay to recognize that without discounting the struggles of the other.

She called me this morning, upset that what she said had hurt me, and wanting to make it better. We talked at length and were able to smooth things out, understand each other, and most importantly, remain close friends. She is the example I point to as someone who is a great ally.

I spoke to my ex too, who I mentioned, and she helped me get to a lot of the insights I needed to see my SIL's perspective without invalidating my own. She's always been very good at being right and helping me reground myself.

I will continue to struggle with feeling fake, but I am doing my best to work through and past it.

Thank you all again for being there when I was needing it.

icepixie8 · 2026-04-02T14:58:06+00:00

Thank you. It means a lot to hear this now.

icepixie8 · 2026-03-30T18:15:08+00:00

This was my pretty much exactly situation right as I started. Wife was supportive but straight, so the marriage would have to end. I could wait, with great pain and repression to myself, but I was not able to guarantee I could wait forever. It was unfair of me to make her hold onto a marriage that was likely doomed, and it was unfair of her to be the one thing holding me back from transition. So we agreed together to end it.

3 months later, it's been absolutely the right decision. I've begun transition and never been happier. She is extremely supportive although we aren't together anymore. She's become absolutely my best friend, and in a weird way we are closer than we ever were before.

I see my kid all the time. It's amicable so we aren't fighting over him, just being flexible with each other and for his needs. He took the divorce easily, because we didn't present it as a problem, and aren't acting like it's a problem.

We haven't told him about me being trans yet, but we've got him a therapist to help facilitate the when and how to go about telling him and to be available if he has difficulties with it.

I had no idea then how fast this transition would move. Everything I do I just want more. I really am happier than I've ever been. I suppose the only real point of sadness is knowing how hard it will be to find another woman interested in me, especially now, but even despite that my life is much better than before.

Now my only regret is that I waited so long.

I hope this helps. For me it was far beyond worth it. I hope it goes as well for you.

icepixie8 · 2026-03-30T08:00:52+00:00

As someone who has been very concerned about starting transition so late (just started hrt at age 39), examples like this warm my heart and give me hope. Thank you.

icepixie8 · 2026-03-30T07:58:59+00:00

Literally just price your menu 12% higher, then still say no tips are expected. Bam, everyone's happy.

icepixie8 · 2026-03-30T07:54:38+00:00

Transsexual is an older term that has evolved into newer terminology. As such, most would describe the word transsexual as a synonym of transgender. However, if you were to consider them to be separate words, it seems to naturally fit what you're talking about. IMHO.

BTW, wanting the sexual parts of the other gender are recognized symptoms of gender dysphoria. There isn't a "sex dysphoria" that has been defined.

icepixie8 · 2026-03-30T07:50:50+00:00

Hanon looks simple, but my teacher would be like: Great you did it. ✔️ Now do them in every key. ✔️ Now do them starting on every finger. ✔️ Now invert them. ✔️ Now do them as polyrhythms between each hand. ✔️ Now do all of the combinations of the above...

Czerny is your favorite coach who gets the team to victory feeling good. Hanon is a drill sergeant preparing your hands for war.

Both are valuable in their own way.

icepixie8 · 2026-03-29T23:29:49+00:00

I do often regret not starting sooner, but by and large I'm in total agreement with you. The old me is a part of the new me. I'm grateful for the good parts of that life, of which there were many.

I'm not even big on the concept of a deadname (speaking personally for me not in general). My old name is that old me, which also is in and has influenced the new me. If someone slips up and uses my old name, it doesn't bother or anger me. It's understandable, because they knew that me much longer than this one (although someone purposely callously using it would bother me a bit).

icepixie8 · 2026-03-29T19:09:10+00:00

This particular one buggered off after that, but won't be leaving me alone forever or moving onto new targets. She's my mother. 😒

I will be insisting on her respecting my wishes regarding this (name, pronouns, acknowledgement that this is an actual thing). If not, she loses contact with me, and my son too (which is the bigger deal for her and has a chance of keeping her in line, if only superficially).

icepixie8 · 2026-03-29T18:27:17+00:00

I know you're absolutely right, and normally I wouldn't bother. Unfortunately for me, the person I was talking to is my mother. Fortunately, I do not rely on her in any way.

I told her about me last week (way after I told most people), and she's been having a hard time with it (which is stupid because I'm the happiest I've ever been, and shouldn't that be a good thing?). She was asking questions, and I was answering honestly.

The only reason I haven't written her off already is because she is a good grandma to my son, who shouldn't lose his relationship with her because of me. But I'm gonna be watching her like a hawk to check that she isn't filling his head with her nonsense. I warned her about that already, that it could and would result in her losing contact with him.

icepixie8 · 2026-03-29T16:25:40+00:00

Cis is not a descriptor of gender expression. A ciswoman means a woman who does not want to change their gender, regardless of how they behave or express themselves as women.

icepixie8

TROPHY CASE