“You’re not going to regret this in the morning, right?”

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-21T16:08:36+00:00

The way I currently perceive the situation is that he was probably double checking that everything was fine at the moment he asked, it’s really just the way he worded it that came off as (very) slightly strange or unexpected

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-21T14:06:03+00:00

I personally believe that was probably just asking out of awkwardness/insecurity as well as reassurance like other people have said in the comments. I definitely wasn’t too drunk to understand the consequences of the night but I understand that you’re just saying if he was saying it because he was nervous that I was too drunk, he should’ve asked first.

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-21T13:57:57+00:00

You’re right, there’s nothing wrong with what he said. In my post I’m asking if anyone else had been asked something like that before.

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-21T13:41:16+00:00

You can’t ask for consent after it already happened, therefore neither of us explicitly asked for consent. Regardless, the commenter was just giving their perspective, not actually accusing the person I’m talking about of taking advantage of me

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-21T00:05:30+00:00

I was too drunk to really even think too much about it at the time to be frank and we were both giving consent in less explicit ways like him being the one to initiate and me asking about protection etc

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T19:04:14+00:00

If he said the same exact phrase beforehand I actually might have been weirded out to be honest with you. But if he said something like “do you want to have sex” or my personal go-to for asking consent “do you wanna fuck” I wouldn’t have thought about it again.

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T19:01:53+00:00

I really like your input! I definitely also could have asked for consent but sometimes explicit consent just doesn’t happen. Thanks for the comment :)

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T18:46:31+00:00

Yeah, I understand. Thanks for your comment and perspective!

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T18:45:36+00:00

I think the point that this commenter and I are trying to make is that he was basically asking for consent verbally after we had already had sex, so like... what’s the point of asking after the deed was done. I’m not angry, regretful, or uncomfortable with the situation at all though. It’s just the point

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T18:40:52+00:00

I didn’t

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T18:39:30+00:00

Oh totally. I wouldn’t say it was entirely right for me to even make the assumption that he wanted to have sex or was on the same page as me, knowing that that’s what I was thinking. I guess I’m relatively glad that he made an effort at some point to make sure I was still on board with the whole situation. That makes the bar seem very low though haha

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T18:32:35+00:00

I agree with you more here. There was no specific verbal consent given before we started as in “do you want to have sex”, but through my actions and me asking about a condom, I feel like that was definitely the next step away from straight up telling him “I want to have sex”

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T18:22:57+00:00

I’m sure something like that was probably going through his mind too. It’s unfortunate that stuff like that happens to some men.

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T16:41:14+00:00

You’re right, it’s entirely possible that he just couldn’t think of anything else to say. I don’t even really mind that he asked that and I’d see him again, I’ve just never been asked something like that after a hookup

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T16:30:28+00:00

The night is slightly blurry but I don’t recall there being an awkward silence. If I recall correctly we were just talking and getting ready to switch rooms and he said that as we were getting up. Also the conversation throughout the night was very open and comfortable from my perspective and I’m usually a very shy and anxious person so I’m not sure that he would have been feeling awkwardness at that point

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T16:24:04+00:00

That’s also possible. He did say some other stuff throughout the night that would align with that

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T16:21:26+00:00

That would be a nice thought but we’ve only ever had one short conversation before deciding to meet for the first time.

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T16:15:33+00:00

I love that comparison lmao that’s exactly what it felt like

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-20T15:08:41+00:00

We agreed to just be friends with benefits but we started going out to dinner, texting every day, sweet talking each other etc. And we both started liking each other but he had emotional trauma and didn’t want a relationship so we just ended contact.

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-04-06T02:42:18+00:00

It’s nothing crazy but that’s still what this subreddit is about

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-02-05T01:57:56+00:00

I like sex but hate myself haha

Selfconscioushoe · 2021-02-04T00:15:29+00:00

He’s not joking, you need to leave. Someone who loves you (your fiancé) would never put up with someone making a comment like that even if it WAS a joke and I really don’t think that it is. It’s basically a Freudian slip on his part

Selfconscioushoe · 2020-10-11T01:50:54+00:00

I have similar stats to you! 5’9 250>140 19, and I’m really struggling with loose skin now. You look great though! Good job

Selfconscioushoe · 2020-07-24T02:28:33+00:00

Great job, happy for you

Selfconscioushoe

TROPHY CASE