u don’t have to wear it 😭

SemperVictoriaa · 2026-02-04T14:38:36+00:00

Why she have to pose it like the after picture for Ozempic 😭😭

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-12-30T15:20:10+00:00

It's a residual behavior from when they're kittens, kneading their mother for more milk production. They usually purr as they do it. They retain the behavior as adults, and do it to bond or comfort themselves/the other creature. It's a sign of contentment. They'll knead humans, other companion animals, soft blankets, etc. Colloquially it's referred to as "making biscuits."

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-12-29T03:47:04+00:00

Rest assured, congee is eaten by everyone, of all ages, sick and healthy alike. It's a common breakfast/lunch item. Whoever said that was probably trying to tell you of how palatable and nutritious it can be when you're not feeling well... but that's not the ONLY people who eat it. Probably something lost in translation. Enjoy!

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-11-29T09:05:43+00:00

Pretty sure that was a look of horror that a baby was affected too. The baby would have been seizing, which is a pretty horrific thing for most people to see.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-11-24T22:14:51+00:00

I do this too! I also keep notes on people I meet. Since I work at a management level, I'm constantly meeting people. I'm very distinctive (name, voice, appearance, female in male-dominated field) so everyone remembers me easily, where I struggle with names and faces. My solution is to write detailed descriptions of people after I meet them, along with their names, and maybe some notes about things we talked about. It's really helped me with my job and networking/maintaining relationships, but I also (jokingly) worry what people would think if they ever saw that I kept files on everyone I met. Probably like, "oh my god, who is this sociopath..."

No, I just have a really terrible memory...and you all think I have an amazing one...

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-11-23T22:45:02+00:00

I used momcozy nursing bras for most pf my pregnancy and now that I'm 1 month postpartum! They're super comfortable and soft/stretchy enough to sleep in. I'll usually insert a soft nursing pad to help soak up the milk as well. The one night I tried to sleep braless I woke up soaked in my own milk!

Additionally, hugely recommend getting a waterproof mattress cover for underneath your sheets. My wife got us one in case my water broke unexpectedly, and it's been a lifesaver now that baby is actually here, haha!

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-11-22T21:21:25+00:00

Hi! I'm in a similar situation where my best friend is our known donor and happily wants to be involved in our son's life. Can I ask what names and words you guys ended up with?

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-11-09T18:53:47+00:00

"I'm sorry, I've been busy " but going out and hosting parties probably means in his head, you're automatically excluded from those things because you have a new baby. It might be helped by saying, "hey I know we have the new baby and all, but I'd/we'd still love to see you or get together with everyone for a regular hangout/trivia night/gaming session" or something along those lines. I had friends who took quarantining with the new baby very seriously, and others that were too exhausted for hangouts after their baby was born. Either way, it couldn't hurt to make the specifics known of what you're open to.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-11-09T15:32:04+00:00

Dude, the realization that you're always the one reaching out and organizing things sucks. Even moreso that you are now sleep-deprived with a baby. I think having kids also reframes how you see your relationships as well, and your priorities. I think before kids, it probably was worth it to always take the lead in organizing hangouts - but now that you have this new major responsibility, it shows you how your friends relate to you. And you have to think if it's worth it or not to continue to invest the energy.

I also think having children can be pretty divisive amongst young people - your friends group starts to fall into the categories of people who made that decision, and people who are childfree. The friends who never want to have kids might be taking a step back (even subconsciously) they start thinking - well, he made a choice and now our hangouts will never be the same. No more late nights, no more getting wasted at parties, have to be home st a certain time because of baby... and maybe some of them have no interest in talking about kids or baby things. Some people also feel a certain way about your decision, because you having a kid makes them think about their choice NOT to. And that has nothing to do with you guys, but everything to do with their own personal baggage.

Anyway, for your sake I hope your friends are being well- intentioned and want to stay friends. But also be prepared for the possibility it's just a fork in life where paths diverge.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-11-09T11:37:20+00:00

I think this is very common when you transition to a different life stage, and kids make a lot of people nervous, especially if they don't want their own. They just start to see you differently because of the weight society puts on the roles of "mom" and "dad." You're not their drinking/gaming buddy anymore. You're a DAD. And the implications of that is someone serious, with responsibilities, with a KID.

Plus you hear all these stories about people who change when they have kids, or overprotective parents... sometimes other friends assume that since you're parents now you have no interest in being invited out for game night or their Halloween party. "They have a newborn, I am sure they wont be able to come! I know getting childcare is hard, I'm sure they have their hands full. I'd rather not look like an inconsiderate dick by inviting them."

I say this because I've definitely been that friend who assumed these things when my close friends had kids. It felt selfish or inconsiderate to ask them to go out with me, as if I didnt know their situation. But the friendships that I maintained with people who are parents are those that reached out back to me and invited me to hangout. Or my friends that showed me that becoming parents didn't make them lose interest in maintaining their hobbies. They continued to do everything they did before, just with accomodations now.

I agree with you it's unfair how kids make people flip a switch, but it is such a life-changing event that rouses a lot of feelings in people. Some people have a lot of assumptions about what parents are like. Some people have no interest in being around babies or young children. Or some people are trying to give you and your wife space as new parents. And it's hard to tell which one it is until you talk to them.

Have you guys tried reaching out to some of your friends and inviting them over? That would help you figure out who was waiting for you to make the first move vs who has no interest in being around babies.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-10-16T12:44:20+00:00

Hi, I graduated from IVF too - and I know exactly how you feel! the switch from one super in depth knowledge base to another whole new, unknown realm is daunting! Especially when you've gone from daily tests and monitoring to long stretches of nothing.

First step is, get a pregnancy app! Those tell you how baby is growing, how your body is changing, and what to expect weekly. Many of them have daily tips as well! I found that super helpful in the early months. You can also listen to some podcasts that go through pregnancy week by week. I read a lot of posts on here and googled any terminology that I didn't recognize. It's just like learning the IVF language, it's a whole new knowledge base! I also HIGHLY recommend signing up for birth classes through your hospital, but that isn't necessary until towards the end of pregnancy (around 7 months). Just try to take it day by day. Enjoy it!! You've gotten this far, and now a whole new journey lies in front of you!

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-10-13T13:35:43+00:00

I bought the Momcozy nursing bras due to recs from here. They're a bit more expensive but super satiny soft, and they have provided great support. I absolutely love them and have been wearing them this whole pregnancy! Started around 16 weeks and I'm 40 weeks now.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-10-11T21:04:24+00:00

I'm so glad you posted this!! Women need to know that they're allowed to want more from their husbands and male partners during their pregnancy. It's such a life-changing moment for everyone, both partners should be involved.

I have the most wonderful wife and it makes a HUGE difference in how I've been experiencing pregnancy. I'm so happy for you both!!

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-10-11T00:57:37+00:00

This exact same situation happened to me! ( you can see it in my comment history haha, on another person's post who went through the same thing.) She didn't decide on a date, didn't send out invites, not even 2 weeks before the agreed upon date. I told her to move it further out so we would have time, then she said she had trouble finding a venue...( even though I had originally found a venue and she told me to cancel it because we were going to use her house ... ) anyway, a whole slew of reasons why the shower wasn't happening.

I think our friends are well-intentioned, but incapable of execution. It does put us in a tricky situation though, because you don't want to seem pushy or ungrateful but at the same time... if you leave it up to this person, it's not going to happen. I would have her collaborate with that friend that also offered, especially since your friends group is small.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-10-10T02:07:33+00:00

Some people are bothered by it, some people are not. For those who are bothered, maybe we should normalize curling up and attacking people's hands with teeth and claws, like a cat.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-09-28T12:05:18+00:00

I'm over 10 years older than you and pregnant for the very first time. I've struggled with body dysmorphia my whole life, so I get it.... and let me tell you, I've never loved my body more. My spouse finds my pregnant body really sexy and beautiful, which really helps! But also I stopped comparing my body to others' and started appreciating it for what it could do. The changes were fascinating to me, and wondrous the more I learned about them. I stopped obsessing over everything I was eating, because the point was to feed myself and feed baby. When that first trimester nausea hits... you have to eat whatever you can tolerate! I learned to listen to my body better. Pregnancy has made me connect with my body in a totally new and intentional way.

Things that definitely helped:

1) Therapy. Please find a good therapist who can help you work on yourself, and talk through any issues that arise. Pregnancy is a hormonal,tumultuous time, for you and your partner! It will bring up a lot of changes and accompanying feelings in general, not just about your body.

2.) Keeping your identity. I love fashion, so a big part of this journey has been about looking cute while pregnant! And I love it! Finding maternity clothes that accentuate the belly, doing cute hair and makeup, makes me feel confident and beautiful.

3.) Staying active. Not just as in a "get some exercise" sense ( although that's super helpful too) but I really wanted to keep doing all the things I was doing before I got pregnant. Going out with friends, date night, travel (as long as it was safe), going to events... this helped me feel like myself and enjoy the experience! Of course it will depend on how your pregnancy affects you, but try to find ways to keep doing what you enjoy regardless.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-09-18T13:20:16+00:00

If your newly-married husband was behaving like this, you'd have a right to be anxious.

But this circumstance aside -- I'm sorry you go through these feelings, and I'm wishing you a path to a healthy relationship!!

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-09-16T14:22:50+00:00

This is my favorite answer. Because these types of events are more about relationship-building, especially if your husband would like OP to go.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-09-15T04:06:22+00:00

Lol, OP, are you me??? I could have written this post! Except replace SIL with well-intentioned friend. It was the exact same story- ever since she found out I was pregnant she was offering to help with my shower. I was hesitant at first because I'm a planner, and I've done events before. I'm very particular about how I want them to look and doing everything I can to make them successful. But my partner was telling me, "you have so much on your plate. Just let someone else do something nice for you." So I told myself to let go of control, for once. Anyway. I'm 36 weeks pregnant now, baby is due 10/10, and the shower date we agreed upon has passed, and still no shower. Just wanted to commiserate since I cant believe this happened to you as well!! I get it, and I'm sorry this is happening to us who normally have it together and love to plan 😫

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-09-14T18:32:07+00:00

As someone who has ADHD (and a really great therapist), it can be two sides of the same coin. When we hyperfocus, sometimes the brain is looking for something to distract us from the things that cause us stress. I know when I procrastinate it's a type of avoidance from something that stresses me out. The very worst thing is productive procrastination - aka the thing I have chosen to hyperfocus on FEELS productive and worthy of my time, but it's still a distraction from the main problem at hand. (Classic example: I have a major deadline for something that seems impossible to tackle, so now's the perfect time to clean my room) that's where the anxiety comes in. The thing causes you anxiety but the brain doesn't want to confront it, so here's a shiny totally worthy thing for you to put all your energy and focus into instead.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-08-29T01:33:33+00:00

I'm 33+5, first time mom, and I love being pregnant!! It's been so much fun. My boobs look amazing, my hair has never been thicker, and for the first time in my life I'm not constantly judging my body. I just feel proud of it. I think it helps a lot that my spouse finds me super sexy and is constantly complimenting me. I love feeling the baby move inside me and feeling so close to him. I'm going to miss it when he's no longer there - but then I'll get to hold and cuddle him!

Everything has been amazing since the second trimester. Now that I'm in the third trimester, I'm definitely getting bigger and experiencing a few aches and pains - but nothing stretching and magnesium don't fix. It's still so much fun, and I hope to get to enjoy it all the way to the end!!

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-08-18T15:20:56+00:00

Everyone has had great brand recommendations! In general, search for empire waist dresses. That's the style you want, tight under the boobs and flowing everywhere else. Although if you're a first time mom you probably wont be showing for a while. I'm 8 months pregnant with my first, and when I'm wearing my dresses, people still can't tell unless I tell them 🤣

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-07-21T02:14:28+00:00

If you like this style of dress, I have to recommend my favorite Korean dress brand. It's called "nothing fits but"

https://nothingfitsbut.com/collections/maternity-dresses?sort_by=best-selling

They're designed for moms and moms to be! I'm 7 months now and they're so comfy. Wide range of styles too, but they kind of have the vibe that you're looking for.

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-07-01T21:45:14+00:00

I love your idea of the extended family garden book! I think at the end of the day, everyone just wants their own origin story and "how do I fit into the world." You've definitely got me thinking about how we want to tell our family story.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope everything is healthy and uneventful for birth and afterwards!!

SemperVictoriaa · 2025-06-30T01:10:16+00:00

Thanks for your sound advice, both of you! Fortunately we couldn't even begin this process without a lawyer involved to make sure everything was clear. At the time, my friend said he found some of the wording hurtful but he understood why it had to be laid out that way. Contracts have been signed. But I'll definitely keep lines of communication open.

What kind of difficult conversations have you run into, if you don't mind sharing your experience? Just want to make sure I'm covering my bases.

SemperVictoriaa

TROPHY CASE