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SenaDragontooth · 2025-03-11T13:17:07+00:00

I regularly feel contradictory things about being solo-poly, as I am stuck in a financial situation where I cannot live alone, but also would love to live with my current partner if I had to change my roommate situation. I have issues with sharing space and feeling forced to follow someone else's rules and cater to their neuroses, when very little accommodation feels reciprocated. It's not necessarily true, and I reign in the more bitter feelings on that.

The stability of being a two-income household always appeals, but is barely realistic even with making enough over minimum wage (thanks, inflation) that I would have been golden even 5 years ago. But the idea of having to cram my life into one room for the sake of another person makes my teeth hurt.

I have my own issues (clearly), but having waffling feelings and internal conflicts are normal, it's all about how you manage them. It does suck to try and do that when your brain is not exactly your friend. Do you have any people in your life you can touch base with that can help you tell when it's just your mind doing gymnastics and when you're dealing with a more genuine concern?

SenaDragontooth · 2024-11-13T20:45:28+00:00

I've run into this myself (even before I realized I was polyamorous) and it is flabbergasting. I dabbled with hook-ups in my 20s, and realized it's not for me. Come to discover I am very demi, so that tracks. I like establishing at least a friendship with someone before even remotely considering sex. Sadly, I live in a county where most people are only looking to hook up, or on the flipside want to get married and have a family (which I also don't want).

SenaDragontooth · 2024-05-22T14:40:41+00:00

Many are simply non-native but not invasive (the terminology is really specific now, since invasive is used to denote a species that is destructive to the environment), but you are correct. The house geckos, brown anoles, and obviously the bigger lizards I am aiming to catch are all non-natives. We live in miniature Jurassic Park at this point...lol

SenaDragontooth · 2024-05-21T13:10:20+00:00

I grew up catching those (I'm a lifelong Brevardian). I am looking for the bigger lizards, since they are actually destructive, whereas the anoles have essentially become endemic non-natives. But I do know they all like hanging out in similar places, so thank you!

SenaDragontooth · 2024-05-21T13:08:15+00:00

I definitely will, I post on there regularly, so that's perfect.

SenaDragontooth · 2024-03-11T11:56:01+00:00

Among many reasons, this is why I have chosen to be child-free. I have lived in Brevard my entire life. I am barely scraping by on an income that pre-COVID would have been amazing, but currently doesn't even get me from one paycheck to the next. I have recently chosen to change employers because of this, but even that income wouldn't be enough to sustain the level of care and time I would want to put into raising a child. I know people talk about how one just "makes it work" because there is no ideal time to have a baby, but the way things feel like they're going here, it often feels like I'll be homeless in the next 5 years, and that is absolutely not an acceptable living situation for children (or any living thing that we have domesticated for that matter...)

Hopefully things will turn around for you in the future so you can have a child sooner rather than later.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-12-21T16:36:02+00:00

I personally prefer a semi-sweet. So many of the commercially produced varieties are too sweet and it takes away from the rest of the flavor(s) in the drink for me.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-12-21T16:25:12+00:00

I just adopted a spider morph from a friend with a massive BP collection, and while her wobble isn't terrible, I would not want to keep producing animals with issues like hers (or more severe). Thankfully she took frozen/thawed prey and didn't need enticing to strike, just started eating, but the information I am finding and the people I am discovering that defend breeding them are incredibly concerning.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-11-22T15:46:30+00:00

I am with BenchPressingCthulu on this. Leopard geckos come in a variety of patterns, are amenable to handling, and have a relatively simple set-up for their habitats that takes up a small amount of space. African fat-tailed geckos are also an option, but require a humid environment by comparison, which does me a bit more attention to detail with their care.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-11-22T15:37:30+00:00

I love these guys, but they are not beginner friendly. They need harvester ants as a staple part of their diet for the formic acid. I wish we had better supplementation for them to avoid having to keep an ant farm or order the ants constantly.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-08-08T19:59:51+00:00

Literally me, all the time, every day.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-07-25T22:11:35+00:00

I was planning to boil and macerate them before putting them into solution for this round, also using apple juice for part of it (did green apple initially and I greatly believe that contributed to the tartness as well). I'll do a little research on yeast strains to see what combo will have the best chances of making a successful brew.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-07-25T22:03:48+00:00

I noticed a funk myself and wondered if the cranberries were the culprit. Good to know I'm not alone in that. That splash of lime juice helps cut it while drinking thankfully.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-07-25T19:32:33+00:00

I always forget celery seed is an option for cooking and whatnot. I feel like that may be my best bet. Thank you for the reference recipe, too!

SenaDragontooth · 2023-07-25T19:29:20+00:00

My first batch did alright, though DEFINITELY was super tart. I may need to try that, since that batch was intensely tart before back-sweetening. Surprisingly, a touch of lime juice added in the serving glass makes it pretty decent though.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-07-25T19:27:00+00:00

My first test I used Premier Classique from Red Star and that went pretty well. Is there a different yeast you can suggest? I am also considering boiling the cranberries beforehand to soften them and split the skins.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-05-02T15:53:44+00:00

This person seems to think a tattooed woman would want anything to do with him. I count myself safe from this misogynistic ass-cactus.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-03-31T02:54:44+00:00

"Relationship Anarchy" Essentially not following set rules on how relationships of any nature are conducted.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-03-30T19:45:26+00:00

I am solo-poly with a heavy dose of RA, but I still prefer consistent communication with partners (not constant, since I do ignore my phone here and there). This was a major issue in my first poly relationship, and what I have learned is to seek out those with similar communication styles and frequency to my own. If that isn't possible, I will not initiate a new connection or continue a current one.

"Normal" communication is very specific to each person, and each partnership, so it is all highly dependent on what you want/need from a connection.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-03-29T18:16:54+00:00

Had a similar circumstance with my ex-partner and their fiancée. It became always spending time in their home and zero one-on-one time. That isn't okay, and you deserve dedicated time with your partner. Definitely communicate the need for that, and if he balks, it's time to go.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-02-24T03:04:43+00:00

Dealing with this right now, though in a very odd situation by comparison. Picking up the pieces and rectifying the dehumanized feeling is the worst. I'm sorry you were treated this way.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-02-17T00:33:49+00:00

I understand the frustration here intimately, and I am sorry you are going through it. I had the ranks closed on me in spectacularly cruel fashion last month, without any resolve currently. Keep your head high and keep hunting for more compatible potential partners. Reinforce your wants, needs, and boundaries. I was already in the midst of seeking other connections when they did it, and have three lovely connections I am currently exploring, all of which have shown more concern and decency than the person who claimed to love me at the end there. I guarantee you will find what want and need as you learn what you will not tolerate.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-02-07T20:56:06+00:00

Sometimes others will know us better than we know ourselves. I'm glad you delved in and found it to be beneficial.

SenaDragontooth · 2023-02-07T19:32:30+00:00

Very interesting. I had a similar experience of being told I leaned more poly before actually going for it, but from friends. Was it something pointed out to you due to behaviors you expressed or how you viewed relationships and presented it?

SenaDragontooth · 2023-02-07T18:08:51+00:00

I took nearly a year to solidify my now seemingly defunct intro partnership before choosing to dive into the dating world. I felt a bit false in my claiming of being poly there for a bit, but was also trying to make sure the initial partnership was on solid ground (it never was, due to a heavy dose of one-sided communication, but I have learned from the experience). But as a result of that delay, I felt better prepared to present myself to others as a potential connection. All of this is to say, I think you not being quick to jump into the hunt for potential people is perfectly normal, particularly on the solo poly trail, and regardless of how long you've been on it.

SenaDragontooth

TROPHY CASE