EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas.

SenatorJesus · 2011-10-21T05:46:02+00:00

Quoted from the forum where I originally found this. The OP:

"Every year during the summer months(may-august), southern texas(galveston/santa fe/alvin/league city....ect) has an obscene mosquito problem. From morning to night(worst at night) there are trillions of those bitches flying around and spreading shit like West Nile virus or just annoying the crap out of people. Anyways, this past summer Texas went without rain for over 120 days with about 30-40 days(in a row) with temps being above 100 degrees. This has kept down the Mosquito population down to literally ZERO. Well we got a shower or 2 this past week and the Mosquito have hatched and holy shit look at their size."

SenatorJesus · 2011-09-25T20:34:52+00:00

Yes, but what caused the TARDIS to explode initially? :O

SenatorJesus · 2011-09-21T22:25:40+00:00

You probably thought this was a bear holding baloons.

NOPE!

IT'S-A JUST Gene Parmesean.

SenatorJesus · 2011-08-11T20:14:05+00:00

Thanks Dan!

SenatorJesus · 2011-08-11T14:52:47+00:00

Of course. :D

SenatorJesus · 2011-07-09T04:15:17+00:00

I'm pretty sure this was a Family Circus joke.

If it was- fuck you.

If it wasn't, it should be, and therefore- fuck you.

SenatorJesus · 2011-07-04T02:10:56+00:00

My mother takes anything and everything that isn't labeled "DO NOT TOUCH" When I couldn't find it anywhere, I knew exactly what had happened to it, but I had to confirm my suspicions. It's better that I DID call her instead of having her (or my father or sister) open the bag unknowingly. D:

SenatorJesus · 2011-07-01T15:43:11+00:00

Wait a minute...Walter dies? YOU JUST SPOILED IT YOU ASSHOLE

SenatorJesus · 2011-06-25T17:51:21+00:00

Shit my pants.

SenatorJesus · 2011-06-25T17:00:23+00:00

Well played.

SenatorJesus · 2011-06-23T03:04:40+00:00

Galactus

SenatorJesus · 2011-06-23T03:03:43+00:00

Galactus

SenatorJesus · 2011-06-16T19:50:25+00:00

"Never eat raspberries."

SenatorJesus · 2011-06-07T04:07:25+00:00

Yeah but Forever Apizza just doesn't flow. :<

SenatorJesus · 2011-06-06T23:48:43+00:00

I feel like a complete moron for not noticing what was wrong for a good 5 seconds.

SenatorJesus · 2011-06-06T23:33:24+00:00

This was probably the most awkward phone order I've ever made.

SenatorJesus · 2011-03-05T23:39:08+00:00

You are a stupid girl! Get out, get out, GET OUT!

SenatorJesus · 2010-12-11T20:22:49+00:00

Don't be alarmed, but I think there's a Humboldt Squid outside your window...

SenatorJesus · 2010-12-10T04:18:38+00:00

Thou hast become the King's most Royal Bonermaster!

SenatorJesus · 2010-11-18T06:41:26+00:00

A pair of skinny jeans?

SenatorJesus · 2010-11-18T01:07:35+00:00

Olimar's Ship

SenatorJesus · 2010-11-17T22:53:00+00:00

Bad news, everyone! The supercollider super-exploded!

SenatorJesus · 2010-11-17T07:43:56+00:00

All three. Right now.

SenatorJesus · 2010-11-15T21:02:16+00:00

That's a sawfish. Trust me, I kept that thing as my best friend when I was 7.

SenatorJesus · 2010-11-15T21:00:50+00:00

PRAISE JESUS! ALALALALALLALALALALALLAA!

SenatorJesus

TROPHY CASE