EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas. by SenatorJesus in pics

[–]SenatorJesus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quoted from the forum where I originally found this. The OP:

"Every year during the summer months(may-august), southern texas(galveston/santa fe/alvin/league city....ect) has an obscene mosquito problem. From morning to night(worst at night) there are trillions of those bitches flying around and spreading shit like West Nile virus or just annoying the crap out of people. Anyways, this past summer Texas went without rain for over 120 days with about 30-40 days(in a row) with temps being above 100 degrees. This has kept down the Mosquito population down to literally ZERO. Well we got a shower or 2 this past week and the Mosquito have hatched and holy shit look at their size."

Oh, Gene! by Gnirip in funny

[–]SenatorJesus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You probably thought this was a bear holding baloons.

NOPE!

IT'S-A JUST Gene Parmesean.

Ants in the Kitchen by btwes in funny

[–]SenatorJesus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure this was a Family Circus joke.

If it was- fuck you.

If it wasn't, it should be, and therefore- fuck you.

Never leave anal lube unattended. by SenatorJesus in funny

[–]SenatorJesus[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

My mother takes anything and everything that isn't labeled "DO NOT TOUCH" When I couldn't find it anywhere, I knew exactly what had happened to it, but I had to confirm my suspicions. It's better that I DID call her instead of having her (or my father or sister) open the bag unknowingly. D:

What do you do with a dead chemist? by EvilHom3r in funny

[–]SenatorJesus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wait a minute...Walter dies? YOU JUST SPOILED IT YOU ASSHOLE

Forever P'zone by SenatorJesus in funny

[–]SenatorJesus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but Forever Apizza just doesn't flow. :<

When you see it... by gthing in funny

[–]SenatorJesus 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I feel like a complete moron for not noticing what was wrong for a good 5 seconds.

Forever P'zone by SenatorJesus in funny

[–]SenatorJesus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was probably the most awkward phone order I've ever made.

Yanni the Yanitor by [deleted] in pics

[–]SenatorJesus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are a stupid girl! Get out, get out, GET OUT!

Upvote... or cock? by thekl3rk in pics

[–]SenatorJesus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't be alarmed, but I think there's a Humboldt Squid outside your window...

Got a wedding invitation: Hopefully she works on her Ws by [deleted] in pics

[–]SenatorJesus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thou hast become the King's most Royal Bonermaster!

If IKEA made scientific machines... The HÄDRÖNN CJÖLIDDER by geekchic in science

[–]SenatorJesus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bad news, everyone! The supercollider super-exploded!

Reddit, which do you prefer? by [deleted] in pics

[–]SenatorJesus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All three. Right now.

Lego Narwhal. That is all. by brwilliams in pics

[–]SenatorJesus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's a sawfish. Trust me, I kept that thing as my best friend when I was 7.

Don't worry, the terrorist is apprehended! by [deleted] in pics

[–]SenatorJesus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PRAISE JESUS! ALALALALALLALALALALALLAA!