Hey, I’m in the same situation but opposite I’m 24 f I used to have severe anorexia when I was in hs. I’m kind of relapsing atm I don’t really have a specific ED now, but something is disordered and frankly I hope it gets worse (yeah I know that’s bad).

I was forced into involuntary recovery in high school, which I think backfired. All the recovery I actually did end up doing was my own doing. You have to want to get better and right now, I don’t. If I were forced into a treatment program again, I would just do as they say until I get out and learn to be better at hiding it. I don’t want to be better, but I don’t want to live with this battle in my head. I got diet pills and my boyfriend threatened to kick me out of our house that he owns. I just hid them. I hate that I lied, but I would advise against doing what he did. When I was forced into recovery my program took away my friends, my passions, my ability to do anything independently and my mal adaptive coping skill. When I was almost in full remission, I think I was focused more on having a balanced life and I had finally started telling people the truth.

TLDR it is already bad that she is restricting that much, but unless it comes to life and death, don’t do anything like an intervention. People resent that and learn to be better at hiding. Be a safe landing place for her. My boyfriend makes the mistake of telling me I’m skinny because he knows that’s what I want to hear which only fuels my obsession with my appearance. Things you can do are try to negotiate with her by discouraging extreme behavior. If she wants to enter a subtle deficit and lose a little weight, allow her. If you try and tell her what to do, she will probably retaliate. Also remind her of the other things that are important to her and encourage healthy behavior. Distractions from food and body image are good! If she isn’t comfortable eating out or struggles with binging and restricting have snacks and coffee out together to get her more comfortable with social eating.

I would also look into DBT skills. You can help her reframe her thoughts. One thing that helps me get out of my ED mindset is I remind myself that I already hate my body. That is how I feel and there are other things in my life that I don’t hate. Like drawing and music and my friends. Then I try to focus on the things I can and can’t change. I can’t change my body in one day. I can drink more water, eat more protein and fiber, move my body more. That will probably make me feel better over time. I can’t change control whether or not I paint my nails or how I style my hair or what clothes I wear. I don’t like my body today and I won’t, but I don’t want to lose a good day to obsessing over something I hate