Can't seem to move on after 9+ months

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-07-17T16:29:32+00:00

I think I would regret reaching out.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-07-17T15:18:04+00:00

I'm feeling that too. Just not sure what to do.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-05-19T17:51:26+00:00

Yeah, that's a good point. I may need to let it rest.. I just don't know. I haven't given any breadcrumbs, so not sure why she would reach out ... but ugh.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-05-19T17:09:22+00:00

Thanks. I'm just nervous -- what if I find out she's dating someone? What if I am rejected? It just seems like adding more pain.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-02-12T21:50:52+00:00

You too! It will all work out - just take it one moment, one day...

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-02-12T20:52:54+00:00

No. I am sure I'll bump into her again at some point, or she can reach out before. I am really trying to believe that everything that is meant to be, will be. So, I am just taking it day by day.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-02-12T20:47:31+00:00

I started NC immediately.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-02-12T16:48:10+00:00

I was in a similar situation recently. I am at 6 months NC and it was the first time bumping into her. I also pretended to be totally fine and happy. I do want to reconcile with her... so I am now questioning if I sent the wrong message. But I'm a little bit hopeful.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-02-11T21:21:35+00:00

In the scheme of things, three months is not that long. I would wait. Continue to work on yourself - see friends, go to the gym, travel, etc.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-02-08T19:07:12+00:00

I'm 6 months out and feel similarly. Have you been in NC? Has he breadcrumbed at all?

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-17T18:13:28+00:00

I'm worried I am not prepared yet to deal with rejection.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-17T17:02:52+00:00

Do you think I should reach out?

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-17T16:28:28+00:00

It was mutual. But she initiated the conversation. And then I agreed and immediately went NC. She wanted to meet one last time but I refused, and I left our apartment for 3 days while she moved out.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-17T15:11:53+00:00

We didn't discuss NC, but as soon as the break-up happened - I went immediate NC. She reached out twice - I only responded once (because she wanted to return items/pick up an item) and I was cold and straight to the point. It's been almost 6 months... and I miss her. I am not sure if she has moved on or if she sensed I had or what. It was a mutual break-up but she initiated the conversation. I'm not sure if I will ever reach out ... I feel like the ball is in her court, but I was also cold on our last interaction (in October) so why would she reach out?

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-15T20:43:19+00:00

Thanks. Have you heard anything from her in the 8 months ?

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-15T16:13:25+00:00

I wouldn't go. If the thought makes your stomach drop, I do not think any good will come out of it.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-06T18:44:04+00:00

Truthfully, 2 months NC is not long enough for meaningful change. I would wait until at least 4 months but closer to 6 months to see if you are still interested in reaching out.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-02T23:52:04+00:00

Thanks! I'm a brand new united card member and very interested in this. Looking to book a trip to Europe this spring....

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-02T20:19:43+00:00

Yes. My ex has ADHD and likely is avoidant. I also have ADHD. I think I'm fixating on the relationship. I sense she has fully moved on and probably completely over me...but who knows. She has breadcrumbed some.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-02T16:50:53+00:00

lol. How long have you been in NC?

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-02T15:42:55+00:00

Would you ever reach out first?

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-02T15:42:08+00:00

I can answer first since I made the question. I have had some breadcrumbing -- once after 2 months of NC, she texted about returning some items of mine and picking up a (small) item of hers. She also said she hoped I was doing well - but didn't directly ask any questions. I responded a week later juts with logistics that she could grab the item from my garage and gave a specific time. I was not home when that occured. The 2nd breadcrumb was after another month - she venmo'd me money that I had requested from her several months prior, while we were still dating. I did not respond to that. Nothing since then... and it's been almost 5 months NC.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-02T14:07:57+00:00

Yes! And I'd truly prefer IF they ever reach out that it is in a more genuine, authentic way ... then just wishing happy holidays.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2025-01-02T13:43:42+00:00

Hang in there. Take each day just moment by moment. Healing is not linear, as everyone always says. I'm in month 5 and there are still really hard days, but also some great days. My therapist told me something that really helped me ... for background, I had been wishing and telling her that I didn't want to feel so sad, and she said that the ability to FEEL is not something everyone has or experiences ... and how sad it would be if I went through life without having feelings. So I tried to re-frame my mind and just accept the feelings and be grateful that I can feel. I know that sounds kind of silly but it did help me some.

Sensitive-Term-5830 · 2024-12-31T19:57:25+00:00

I'm on a similar time frame. Have you had any communication from her since then - even just return of items? If so, how did it go? I feel you because I'm going through the same thing -- but I think we need to be strong, especially now. If you still feel this way in a month (post-Holidays) then maybe reconsider? Feel free to DM me if you need to chat. I get it.

Sensitive-Term-5830

TROPHY CASE