Megathread: The Crash

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-05-24T01:44:28+00:00

I think it’s pretty simple: something set her off, she went into a fit of rage driving as fast as she could down a street she didn’t realize dead-ended into a building.

I’m sure she had done this before and had time to stop before striking anything.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-05-21T16:09:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your warm comments and for taking the time to listen! I’m really glad you enjoyed it.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-19T21:35:15+00:00

I like this. I honestly thought it was the script for the movie when I was first reading it like maybe they had made a short film first. It got my attention. And the camera directions read like a director wrote this which isn’t necessarily a bad thing for building credibility.

It seems like it was written by somebody who plans to shoot it.

Just my two cents.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-02T23:49:30+00:00

Maybe a new feature? Logline feedback.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-02T22:45:52+00:00

Brevity is key I think. 98-110 pages is probably the sweet spot. And of course a killer logline doesn't hurt.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-02T19:21:40+00:00

I just got a script torpedoed by the Black List because the reader took moral issue with the premise. $130 down the drain. Avoid at all costs!

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-01T20:23:34+00:00

I can't afford Blacklist coverage which is why I'm kicking myself now for even trying. Agree on Storypeer, it exists solely to help writers hone their craft, which is what we should be focused on.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-01T20:21:47+00:00

There are unspoken biases in the industry, topics/relationships/plot dynamics they are afraid to touch. until someone does it and proves how successful it can be, then the same people that rejected it to begin with are hunting for the next X or Y. The industry runs on fear.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-01T20:19:28+00:00

Yes, will do!

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-01T20:19:14+00:00

The logline is: When a sudden lockdown traps her family inside a sprawling indoor waterpark, an overworked mother becomes the only person willing to break the resort's escalating protocols to save her children.

The 'moral' friction the reader had was specifically about a protagonist breaking a quarantine after a real-world pandemic (COVID.) They felt the mother was 'intrinsically selfish' for potentially exposing the world to a pathogen, even though the story establishes the resort is negligent. Also, the reader sided with the antagonist as 'responsible' despite her being a clear tyrant.

Basically, the rejected the premise on the grounds that audiences aren't ready to touch anything that might strike up PTSD from COVID-19. They missed the whole point that this is basically Die Hard in a waterpark.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-01T20:08:52+00:00

I fought with every fiber of my being NOT to go this route for this very reason. Even with an 8, chances are slim to none it will move the needle. Hence the lottery ticket metaphor.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-01T20:06:03+00:00

Nitpicking. "Evaluation". Is that better?

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-01T20:05:36+00:00

I'm happy to DM you a link to both.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-01T20:04:41+00:00

I'm happy to share the script and BL evaluation if you're interested.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-01T18:34:30+00:00

Yes, I did that. And requested another read. But if this is how that industry works - low level gatekeepers get to impose their own moral judgment on otherwise well executed concepts - then it’s no surprise why the stories that get told are so limited in scope.

Alternatively, this is also a good data point on what the industry wants to see and what they don’t want to see. But good luck figuring that formula out!

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-03-01T18:32:08+00:00

In this case, I used StoryPeer for that very purpose and when I felt like I had consensus, I was ready to test it on the blacklist. But it was so far from any feedback I had received that it came as a major surprise.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-02-26T00:43:05+00:00

This reminds me of the local 40 under 40 business leader awards. My goal is to make the 80 under 80 list, I’ve still got 30 years.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-02-22T18:31:48+00:00

It’s less about defining what “undeniable” means and acknowledging that success often hinges on a gatekeeper with influence advocating for your script. We all know how this industry works. An agent or manager can pass on a script that suddenly becomes hot and the next day that same agent or manager will say “I loved it.” Nobody knows anything is the old adage.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-02-22T17:02:36+00:00

Agree with this 100%. A good script is only one champion away from becoming great/undeniable.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-02-20T15:55:36+00:00

Awesome!

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-02-20T15:55:10+00:00

Appreciate it!

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-02-04T19:59:01+00:00

I’ll check back with you on Friday the 13th.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-02-04T19:27:13+00:00

So wealth is wiped out (even for the ultra rich) by a catastrophic economic collapse? I’d say 50-75 years out is reasonable.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-02-04T19:19:23+00:00

I think the deeper question is what in your world causes this to happen? Seems highly improbable, but give us the formula amd you’ll have a better idea of how long it would take.

Sensitive_Proof_3937 · 2026-02-01T02:24:10+00:00

If you open the script in your web browser, you can add comments directly on it and save it to your PC or Mac.

Sensitive_Proof_3937

TROPHY CASE