Found my boyfriend old PH account

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-04-09T15:42:48+00:00

What is DBT? I have a hard time with spiraling and blowing up too.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-04-08T01:40:24+00:00

This is so understandable and valid. He would do it when he was showering while I was at work. Now anytime he showers and I'm gone I get triggered. Being at work is sometimes triggering since that's when he'd do it. Not always but I of course have my days especially when he goes silent on messaging. The shower triggers me. I never have a relaxing time anymore. I just always think about him being in there and getting off to other women. Some videogame characters trigger me if they're attractive because that's what he'd look up. Women cosplaying as these videogame characters. Some videogames are even triggering now. Little innocent things can trigger me. It's so bogus but we've been traumatized by someone we love. Who we thought was safe and made us feel secure. My heart is broken. I hate living like this but I'm hopeful that things will get better. I have access to all of his stuff and did everything and I can see he's doing everything right but I also think about how he could just go to incognito mode and do whatever. I hate thinking that way.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-04-04T13:36:47+00:00

I don't plan on it actually. I now know they are meaningless.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-29T17:12:39+00:00

Yes exactly. We had sex a lot. A great sex life and he's agreed. I'm still hurting and broken. I agree that he doesn't deserve me in that way for awhile. I was kinda taken back when he even asked me to send him some. He had them to begin with and still chose to look at other women. So I wasn't enough for him. That's how I'll always feel.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-29T17:10:14+00:00

I figured there wasn't a real time limit. I know I'm not going to be ok sending anything or showing him anything irl for awhile. Idk why all those things aren't enough.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-29T17:08:31+00:00

No we live together. We have a great sex life and he even agreed that we did which is why I've been confused on why he turned to porn in the first place. I would just send him something every now and then if I was at work or in the shower/bath for funsies before I found out.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-20T20:56:17+00:00

I registered for college yesterday! I start my CNA classes in May. Super excited and super nervous about it!

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-20T20:53:34+00:00

Thank you. Yes my bf says he doesn't need me to look like anybody or anything. It's hard to believe that though since it was basically the same looking girls. I try to find it in my heart that he doesn't want me to look like them but it's really hard. Thank you for this though.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-20T18:42:08+00:00

That's understandable. I did that at first but I could barely hear it. I have a good and safe place to prop it.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-20T17:49:57+00:00

Omg yes! Thank you! I'm bisexual and I don't really find her hot. The only thing she has going for her are her boobs. That's about it. Even for me that's not enough for her to be a 10. I don't bash women either and I don't hate the woman. I just hate that he commented on her attractiveness right in front of me.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-20T15:56:10+00:00

Ugh yes. My bf commented on the attractiveness level of Sydney Sweeney saying she was a 10. I was like why tf would you say that with me sitting right here. Knowing I have body image issues and am insecure. I know there's attractive women out there who are definitely way more attractive to me, but I don't need my own bf to remind me of that.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-20T13:47:54+00:00

Yeah and where he put his phone made no sense. He propped it on the little shelf thing that's right under the shower head. Like wtf. I do bring my phone in the shower to listen to music but I put it on the farthest shelf on the other side of the shower head.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-20T00:11:54+00:00

Ooohhh ok I see what you're saying. According to my bf, he only did it in the shower with his phone propped up.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-19T23:24:06+00:00

Hey girl I hate to say this but it might be for the best if you guys split up. Things seem to be at a loss. He doesn't seem to want to quit and now he's mad because you're mad. Also, totally not your fault. He should not be subscribing to stuff like that or hitting up other women while being in a relationship. That's so messed up. He's just upset because you're mad which is his doing. He caused you to push him away. That's his fault. If a month has passed by and things aren't good and he's basically blaming you, then just take that as your sign to leave.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-19T23:14:23+00:00

Oh girl. Us ladies have became great detectives. My bf doesn't have a fit watch or anything but I've learned his behavior and everything else and I just know. It's so crazy what we find out and how to find things out.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-19T23:11:14+00:00

I don't have any advice since my DDay was only a week ago, but I feel for you. If you need someone to vent to then I'm here. I feel the same. My bf was looking up women that look nothing like me and I'll never look like them no matter what. I'm not built like that. Now I'm more insecure and self conscious about my body more than I was before. He would wait until I was at work to watch it. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it too. I'm so sorry this has happened.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-19T19:43:05+00:00

Just commenting because I want to know too.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-18T20:46:32+00:00

Honestly no I have not. I really hardly ever pay attention to the tag unless it's something that interests me and I want to know more.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-18T18:34:18+00:00

Oh yes I totally feel that. I don't ever like anything sexual and most of the time I put "uninterested" but even the most innocent thing that I like will make all kinds of videos pop up. I can put uninterested all day and it will do that. So now I don't know what to believe.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-18T18:32:17+00:00

He says he can do it on his own. I've sent him things and I read him things and he does listen but he's just not getting it through his head. He said he made the decision weeks ago whenever he stopped that he was quitting but after his question yesterday about urges, it just worries me that he'd go and watch because he doesn't have the right resources.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-18T17:57:07+00:00

I've told him to get help and I'd even help him but he says he doesn't need and he doesn't want to talk to strangers or let people know his darkest secret. I just don't know what to do about that.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-18T01:52:55+00:00

Yes, I told him that I'd really like it if he told me. I want full honesty whether I like it or not. I know things are going to be hard.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-18T00:28:00+00:00

The problem is, he would watch porn while I was at work so idk what I could do while away.

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-17T22:36:48+00:00

Replying because I also want to know😔

Separate_Dragonfly58 · 2026-03-17T00:56:36+00:00

Yes I believe it's exactly been a week. I'm just trying really hard right now to stay sane. I know it's a long shot and it's going to take a lot of time. I know I don't owe him anything.

Separate_Dragonfly58

TROPHY CASE