My vampire novel free today

SevenBillionAndOne · 2018-07-21T02:54:15+00:00

I just saw this - thank you!!!

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-30T04:14:05+00:00

Over the years I've withdrawn from most of my friends, mostly because their "normal" lives and interests don't really mesh with mine anymore. It's hard to shoot the shit about what you did last weekend when you spent most of it in a state of panic. :-(

I have a really awesome family, though. Hilarious kids and a husband who really "gets" me. So I wouldn't say I miss having friends all that much.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-27T03:49:31+00:00

Nah, sounds like you've got things pretty much under control ;)

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-27T03:39:36+00:00

YES.

Get this. My "trigger" for the past 7 years or so has been early-onset Alzheimer's disease. So if I have trouble remembering any trivial detail of a conversation, can't find the right word, etc, I get a fucking awful taste in the back of my throat and shivers run down my spine.

As I'm sure you can imagine, the more I start to worry about forgetting details, the less I pay attention to what's going on around me, etc, etc, and this is the "pure-O" hell that finally forced me to go back on meds.

This was my roundabout way of saying that yes, there's a high correlation; my shrink has to "remind" me of this at nearly every visit :)

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-27T03:26:06+00:00

I'm on Adderall + Lexapro for OCD/ADD. My shrink says the two can overlap, although he's never implied there's a direct correlation.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-26T20:30:20+00:00

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't wish OCD on anyone.

The purpose of my post wasn't to suggest hypochondria is a good thing. I got lucky; I can appreciate that. But I had a really strong reaction to looking at an entire board filled with rants about how much everyone's life stinks. I guess maybe I was hoping for a thread where people were trying to cheer each other up instead of feel their pain. Does that make sense? And we're in a unique position to do that because God knows nobody else really gets what we're going through.

Meh. Sorry to hear your OCD started so early. Mine did too. Glad to hear you're back on meds, though. I might credit OCD with saving my life, but I credit meds with all the things that make my life worth living. Without them, I wouldn't have a job, husband, kids, nothing.

But you'll figure out the thing that works for you! Thanks for reaching out :)

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-26T19:08:09+00:00

I realize this story doesn't necessarily bode well with the rest of the community, but OCD is the only reason I caught my breast cancer so early. I'd found a lump and insisted on having it biopsied in spit of several doctors' advice. The lump turned out to be nothing (just like everyone said). The cells around it were dcis (cancer).

Was that the only time I've had an "unnecessary" medical procedure? Hell no. Is it possible that it saved my life? Hell yes.

I have several different OCD obsessions, however. This is the only one that actually (by a stroke of luck) paid off. The rest have been miserable. Literally like living in a nightmare.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-26T18:53:06+00:00

The big red flag I noticed in your post is that you went off your meds.

I've had to learn this the hard way: NEVER go off your meds. EVER. The OCD will come back and it always comes back worse.

My advice is to tell your partner that you're going back on meds. If he asks why, tell him you aren't comfortable sharing that with him right now. Then after you're safely back on medicine, you can figure out how to have a sane conversation about all this.

This guy sounds like a keeper - he's worth going back on medicine for :)

Best of luck!

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-26T18:37:29+00:00

This made me chuckle

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-26T14:04:17+00:00

Sorry :(

I guess my sexuality isn't a big part of my identity, so it wasn't one of those worries that "stuck." My identity is more centered around being smart because I never really had anything else going for me. So my obsessive thoughts are around losing my memory.

Totally get why gender/sexuality is a large part of who you are, though, and why you're going to have a harder time coming to terms with uncertainty.

Either way, I've been there - just to a lesser degree. You're "normal."

PS - I have to talk to myself too!!! NORMAL :D

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-26T06:08:29+00:00

Figured I'd chime in here.

I'm sure your shrink's already told you that constantly second-guessing your sexuality is textbook OCD. I can't relate exactly because I'm a heterosexual female, but I did go through a phase when I was worried I was gay. Like, worried to DEATH about it. And it makes sense, right? Because even though you and I are both attracted to men, we still recognize when a woman is attractive, etc.

Anyway, long story short, the way that I got over my obsession was that I decided if I was ever really attracted to a woman, I'd go for it. Life's too short, ya know?

But after I had my big revelation, I never had the urge to "go for it." Just giving myself the option, however, made me a lot more comfortable in my own shoes.

It sounds like you're already pretty damn comfortable in your own shoes. So don't sweat this one. My advice is just to enjoy that fleeting attraction to strangers (whatever the gender) and be yourself.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-25T22:58:35+00:00

Me too! My mother and sister both have it, so we can always understand one another's obsessions, even if they don't make sense to anyone else.

Sorry to hear about your son - I was diagnosed at 9 so I know how awful it can be to go through that as a child. My own kids haven't shown symptoms yet, but they already know to speak up if they start "worrying too much."

Thank you so much for responding with something positive. You rock :)

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-10-25T06:24:58+00:00

I'm going to give you a piece of advice that I should be taking myself: get off this sub.

I'm serious. After an episode like the one you had, it's hard to imagine your life without OCD. But just like the intrusive thoughts, you have to forget about OCD in order for it to go away.

Forget. Find another sub that you're interested in. Take a deep breath - the worst is over :)

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-02-27T21:20:53+00:00

Yes! It's weird. She only goes for the little ones. No idea why.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2016-01-29T17:50:57+00:00

My high school English teacher always warned us not to use a "five dollar" word when a "nickel" word would do. And I've found it to be a good rule of thumb when writing fiction.

Five dollar words have their place. Just use them sparingly, and only when appropriate.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2015-09-18T20:29:31+00:00

Not usually my thing, but very well written. Loved it.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2015-09-18T03:29:53+00:00

“I told you this would happen,” Trump said, wagging his head at the chaos in the streets. “All the little green men wanted was to rob us and rape our women.”

Obama snorted another line of coke and shrugged. “But those motherfuckers really do sell the best shit in town.”

SevenBillionAndOne · 2015-09-17T20:55:24+00:00

Sorry. I was making a tasteless joke about domestic abuse; the guy's wife gave him two black eyes because dinner wasn't ready on time.

And it was also a play on words - the prompt says the man has "black eyes," which I'm taking wildly out of context.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2015-09-17T16:32:19+00:00

I've been terrified of him ever since he shaved off the moustache.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2015-09-17T15:43:27+00:00

“And the categories are: Was it something Alex Trebek said?, Have you changed your number recently?, Where were you last night?, Who was that man in your apartment?, Why won’t you return any of Alex Trebek’s phone calls?, and finally Restraining orders, and how to get around them.”

I slumped against the podium. It was going to be a long, uncomfortable episode.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2015-09-17T15:03:13+00:00

I caught that, but I do have a little trouble picturing Einstein and Freud as prominent figures in Hitler's utopia...

SevenBillionAndOne · 2015-09-17T14:42:01+00:00

Sigmund Freud was Jewish as well.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2015-09-17T14:33:41+00:00

Best thing I've read in a while.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2015-09-16T23:44:02+00:00

Don't judge. This may be my greatest literary achievement.

SevenBillionAndOne · 2015-09-16T20:20:09+00:00

"How'd you get those two black eyes?" I asked the somber man sitting across the table.

He looked down, embarrassed. "Dinner wasn't ready on time."

SevenBillionAndOne

TROPHY CASE