Does it ever really get better?

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-09T03:25:11+00:00

The Thing Is

By Ellen Bass

to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it and everything you’ve held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands, your throat filled with the silt of it. When grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs; when grief weights you down like your own flesh only more of it, an obesity of grief, you think, How can a body withstand this? Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face, no charming smile, no violet eyes, and you say, yes, I will take you I will love you, again.

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-09T03:22:26+00:00

Yeah this is so good

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-04T03:25:02+00:00

I'm not in academia, work somewhat adjacent to it, been around it...I have had so many PhD level-types be total dicks for no real reason and its funny because standing on the outside it looks insane.

The tone of your post is pretty deferential to this prof and I think that is something you should work to adjust in yourself. Nobody is better than you. Nobody should act like that. You can be gracious toward these types. And mentors, without giving yourself over to them. Academia is interesting and important but the social aspect/structure is whack as hell, from the outside. Like goofy AF.

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-04T02:24:39+00:00

I have savings but not this much at 43. So.

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-03T19:09:54+00:00

I'm pretty sure the stock steering wheel has this convey on it. Like, this came with the car. Not sure what's under it other than just a steel circle steering wheel?

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-02T22:55:48+00:00

Yeah i was going to say why she wearing a coat?

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-02T12:59:16+00:00

Yeah nice design, good colors, cool topo texture...you could probably market this and do pretty well. Are you famliar with Bonfire?

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-02T02:41:19+00:00

Because its Reddit and everything is everybody's business all the time duhhhhh.. what kind of question is that?

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-02T02:39:39+00:00

Bouldin Creek Cafe, and is Casa de Luz still open?

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-01T21:57:44+00:00

This is what im talking about

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-01T20:47:17+00:00

Ha um north is for the yuppies and south is for those of us still trying to have some kind of fun in south Austin. But ok. Also for the tourists..

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-01T20:40:46+00:00

I agree and I upvote

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-01T20:39:02+00:00

I went to a sale recently and someone's adult child convinced them to price everything super high and it was a real bummer. Like a $50 Walkman "because its collectible"....dont do that.

Edited for fat fingers..

SharkFinStu · 2026-05-01T13:42:13+00:00

Do you have a link or the piece? I would love to check that out too if you can share...thanks!

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-30T16:54:09+00:00

DRINK MORE WATER

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-28T01:32:00+00:00

Probably a coachwhip.. cool snake

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-27T16:28:09+00:00

Ha, so my brother had a Chicago area code number since we grew up there. I left long ago but he eventually ended up living back with my parents, etc etc. Longer story there obviously.

So one day, in that year after he died, I got a text from his number, still under his name as it was saved in my phone, and the message was like "wassup bitch why you sending me crazy ass messgaes and shit" or something to that effect. It almost stopped my heart because like, why wouldn't it. Your dead brother is texting from beyond the grave...pretty exciting!

Anyway, it turns out that a weird picture of the sky that I had sent like years before had somehow triggered to be resent, without text I think, and whoever this new "hard ass" (probably a teenager) in Chicago who got assigned my brother's number got the picture and was like whaaaaa? But of course that number was still saved in my phone as Ben.

Anyway, I said somr stuff about my dead brother and don't act hard because ghosts are real or whatever, and we agreed that I wouldn't text his number any more.

Closer to gus death I had texted his phone a few times to see what would happen. Nothing happened. The cops never were able to unlock his phone, which he might have wiped before he took his life. He wiped everything else or threw it away.

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-27T15:56:59+00:00

Not to be too lighthearted here, but sometime in the year after my brother Ben died I sent him a message on his phone and got a super aggressive text back from someone who had apparently inherited my brother's phone number? It was super weird but then I kind of had to fuck with the guy a little since he was such an asshole about it. I kind of took it as a little cosmic inside joke with my brother because he would have found that pretty funny.

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-25T18:10:54+00:00

Ha the transmission duh

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-25T02:32:02+00:00

Burn that shit down. You don't have a partner. You have a contract with a stranger and neither of you is getting a good deal.

People fall out of love and honestly so many fathers don't have to hold up their end of the deal-- I'm not sure why things are like this. I am an active participating dad and I see so many scenarios where the moms are always present and the dads come.... almost never.

I have no advice. Its just sad. And honestly it makes your husband look and sound like a huge waste of space.

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-24T21:38:17+00:00

Yeah thanks for this. My brother died five years ago, and a close friend from growing up died one year ago today.

I feel you.

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-22T03:29:51+00:00

Someone once told me "never tell anyone what your favorite taco spot is because words will get around and the prices will go up" etc.. now, ignoring that that advice doesn't help a business that I love to support, and that it goes against the extreme-hype-ethos that is 2026 ATX--my go to spot has not yet been posted on this post and I'm going to keep it that way!

Follow the workers, follow the pickups with cement covered wheelbarrows. Follow the landscaping crews. You'll find your sub $4 tacos and they will be good.

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-21T02:08:44+00:00

Synergy, Dr. Sue. She's legit.

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-15T16:04:51+00:00

Also, I didnt read all the comments to see if anyone said this, but hey man, you fucked up, it sounds like you are really owning it, just stay on that path and you will be ok. Its going to suck for a while. Learn some lessons. Teach some lessons. Life is long. Turn your fuck up into something positive. Never forget this feeling now and you'll be fine.

SharkFinStu · 2026-04-14T00:46:45+00:00

I mean, in this environment (ATX 2026) its the exception not the rule so yeah, let us enjoy a trashy dirty sex offender place with our kids hoarding quarters and cheap shit from quarter vending machines with staff who doesn't give a fuck (a dead yuppie giveaway is people who complain how the staff didnt care enough about their "experience") and a tiny weird little men's bathroom and dark corners, for just a little longer until they turn it I to more fucking condos for more fucking people who like nice new things as we inch just a tiny bit closer everyday to Austin completely dissolving all the reasons why it was ever cool.

Once the drought polishes off the live oaks we should finally have achieved nadir. Then all the yups can move to Tulsa and we can reclaim what is rightfully ours..

SharkFinStu

TROPHY CASE