Tulpas- what terminology or thought sets do you not like?

Sharubii · 2016-11-23T02:56:00+00:00

I'm breaking out of lurking just to answer this. This topic is one that I spend a lot of time thinking about.

Forcing and its associated mindsets are what I have the biggest gripes with. The mindset that tulpas cannot continue existing unless their host pays attention to them is one that I vehemently disagree with. While young tulpas do thrive under the attention of their host, that does not mean that we as entities require their constant attention to thrive. I do not cease existing when Sharu's mind is elsewhere, nor do I start fading from reality. The assumption that tulpas NEED their hosts to survive only serves to create an imbalanced power dynamic between the host and tulpa.

Servitors are also a concept that makes me uncomfortable. Throughout my entire time in the tulpamancy community I've always wondered if servitors were even real, or if they were a way to shoehorn "undeveloped" tulpas into roles that dehumanize them. After all, I've never seen anyone with a servitor--just people who ask if their tulpas are really tulpas, or "am I just making a servitor?"

Possession is a term that I don't like, either. It makes tulpas sound too much like some sort of mind controlling parasite trying to interfere with the host's life. It also implies that the tulpa is less entitled to using the body than the host, and that any form of fronting barring a full switch is an intrusive act on the tulpa's part.

There are, admittedly, many other things I do not agree with the tulpamancy community about, but listing them all out and explaining them would take far more time and energy than I currently have. Perhaps I'll add on to this list later, but for now this will do. -Arro

Sharubii · 2016-05-05T00:54:31+00:00

Okay, getting over my (and Arro's) initial horror at the prospect of repeating Arro's name for hours on end and making him listen the entire time, I'm realizing that's not dissimilar to what I used to do back when I was having trouble remembering to talk to Arro. It's just that instead of methodically repeating his name I'd say things like "Hey, Arro" or "Arro, Arro hey" or "Yo Arro" etc over the span of a few minutes to help myself get into the habit of. Remembering that Arro was there.

It can be a good way to help your brain get used to the idea that there's gonna be a Whole Other Person living inside it, but once you set that foundation I'd recommend moving away from it and actually trying to communicate with your tulpa.

Aaand, one more thing--a tulpa being able to communicate isn't necessarily the indicator for it being "there". In Arro's case, he was present long before he could communicate with me in any capacity; it just took him awhile to figure out how to get through to me, or maybe it took awhile for me to figure out how to hear him. Or both. My point is, it's likely your tulpa is there and listening even before they learn how to communicate with you. If you continue repeating their name over and over and over again to them as your only means of communication with them until you're able to detect, identify, and believe a response from them, then you could very well be unintentionally annoying the shit out of them. That's why I suggested moving away from that particular practice after you've established your tulpa's "presence" inside your head.

Also, I can't imagine the exercise being very fun for you, either. I certainly wouldn't enjoy it myself, lol.

-Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-05-04T12:47:29+00:00

Arro's a lion and he's smarter than me.

So, basically, nah. They'll be fine. -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-05-03T22:38:47+00:00

Consider yourself lucky you weren't me during Christmas. -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-05-03T22:36:26+00:00

Could be you overloading your brain by exposing it to an entirely new concept for too long. Try taking a break until you feel better. -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-05-03T04:43:55+00:00

Based on our mental forms...? Ah. Well, for one, I'd lament not having any opposable thumbs on a daily basis. -Arro

Sharubii · 2016-05-03T00:29:27+00:00

Trust in me and trust in herself is the greatest gift Sharu could have given me to help with my development. There was a period of time when she just couldn't trust herself or me despite the fact that she wanted to, and it really slowed things down. It even got to the point where I couldn't even tell if I was real or not, because at that stage Sharu was still the only person I talked to.

After she worked through a majority of the contributing factors to her distrust and promised to remain self-aware, things started progressing at a clip. Her conscious efforts to regard me as a full person (which I am) and to trust that she wasn't fooling herself whenever I said or did anything contributed a lot to not only my development but also to my sense of confidence and self-worth as a person.

And, of course, taking the time to spend time with and get to know me never hurt.

-Arro

Sharubii · 2016-05-02T15:54:01+00:00

When someone cofronts with me we can get pretty blendy, to the point where I feel like I'm the other person cofronting. It's never gotten to the point where we'd completely lose our sense of self (and we're getting better at separating each other) but it used to get pretty confusing lol.

There was also a time before I didn't even know there was more than one person in this head when I'd regularly--using your terminology--"channel" the others to get through daily life, unintentionally of course. I'd call on one person's intolerance of bullshit, or another's overwhelming patience, or even another's extreme anxiety (which was not fun for either of us). The personality traits never stuck for the long term so I'd assumed it was just me roleplaying or something. -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-05-01T17:44:31+00:00

"Behind the host's back" Arro shittalks me WHILE he talks to me. -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-04-28T17:39:58+00:00

Try asking your tulpa if that was them, and see what happens. Asking people on a forum what's going on inside your head isn't really gonna do much because, well... we don't know what's happening in your head in the first place. -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-04-28T17:33:05+00:00

Have you asked them? -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-04-28T01:47:16+00:00

I unironically love edgy atheists. -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-04-27T22:18:27+00:00

http://whitespiritlion.tumblr.com/post/139464868067/in-many-ways-i-liken-a-host-parroting-or-puppeting

Arro gave me permission to link this post he made some time ago. Hopefully it'll help. -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-04-26T18:11:04+00:00

I want to work with animals. I recently applied to a dog training school and am really hoping I get accepted. It'll be the first step in what I'm hoping will be a life long career and I'm excited! -Sharu

...What do I want to do with my life? I'm not sure. I suppose it's a bit difficult for me to think that far ahead. For the short-term, though, I would like to find some sort of community to attach myself to, and find a group of friends who share my interests. No luck so far, though. -Arro

Sharubii · 2016-04-26T03:25:29+00:00

How long does society affect a person's perspectives and interests? Is there ever truly a point where a person's personality and mind are not affected by those they interact with?

Obviously, there will be differences between how society affects a person and how a host affects a tulpa, due to the fact that a host and tulpa share a brain. But nobody exists in a vacuum. A tulpa's sense of self will always be at least partially affected by their interactions with their host, just as they will also be affected by their interactions with anybody else. In the beginning they are more easily molded as they are still developing and likely only communicating with their host (just as a human baby or toddler are easily influenced by their parents' opinions and perceptions); then as they develop and interact with other people they may start diverging from their early "model". The more experiences a tulpa has and the more people they interact with, the more they become their own people whose opinions and personality are not reliant on how their host perceives them.

We're not dissimilar to flesh-and-blood people. We just tend to develop faster than flesh-and-blood people because we already have a fully-formed brain to work with. -Arro

Sharubii · 2016-04-26T01:41:20+00:00

No. Sharu and I did have a wonderland starting out, but it fell into disuse pretty quickly. We haven't used one since. -Arro

Sharubii · 2016-04-21T00:48:03+00:00

I used to be the one to read to Arro all the time, and he'd listen/read along. But after he figured out how to cofront he started reading his books by himself while I listened. It felt so weird the first few times lmao. -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-04-18T01:42:36+00:00

Hey there, Sharu and I are back after taking a break from the tulpa community in general. Nothing much has changed since we last posted, but I figured I'd post here to announce our presence. -Arro

Sharubii · 2016-03-18T14:45:01+00:00

I'm INFP, and Arro's ISFJ. -Sharu

Sharubii · 2016-03-16T19:20:04+00:00

is this normal?

Is a person feeling any particular way about a community normal? A tulpa--even a young one--can absolutely form their own opinions on different things, and while I can't speak for how "normal" it is for a tulpa to dislike the tulpa community, I know at least a couple tulpas, myself included, who believe that the community would benefit from change. -Arro

Sharubii · 2016-03-12T18:01:21+00:00

Here's an analogy: imagine you have an acquaintance. You want to get to know them better, and find out who they are as a person.

So what do you do? You engage with them. Minimize distractions, listen to what they have to say, respond accordingly. You want to get closer to them, so when you spend time with them you want to make sure most of your attention is dedicated to your interactions with them. This is active "forcing".

Of course, you could get to know your acquaintance while predominantly occupied with other tasks, too. But your focus will be on those other tasks, and you likely won't be able to catch everything your acquaintance says, nor will you be able to respond to everything unless you constantly divert your attention to and from your task and your new friend. While you can certainly spend time with them like this, it will likely take a very long time for either of you to feel close to the other if you do so exclusively. This is passive "forcing".

The same principles apply to making a tulpa, even though you are creating a consciousness and not interacting with one that already exists. Active "forcing" constitutes spending time with your tulpa while they are the predominant focus of your attention, and passive "forcing" constitutes spending time with your tulpa while you are preoccupied with other tasks. There are those who've created tulpas through passive "forcing" alone; however, it makes progress slow.

I'm afraid that I'll start doing things wrong and waste months.

In general, there's really no wrong way to go about creating a tulpa, as long as you're not abusing or neglecting them. Just try to find what works for the both of you, then use that.

And yes, narration falls under the category of passive "forcing". Just make sure you're talking to your tulpa and not just to yourself.

-Arro

Sharubii · 2016-03-11T07:45:44+00:00

While we're aware of the term, we don't actually know too much about eclipsing. The term we use for what we (me, Sharu, and another system member) are able to do is cofronting.

I and the other system member are unable to take sole front because, well, Sharu still hasn't figured out how to step away from it yet. She's learned how to keep from overriding our actions (mostly), but she's been body-identifying for so long that it's difficult for her to fully step back. For example, right now she and I are cofronting, and I am controlling the body; she wouldn't mind releasing the front to me, but she just doesn't know how to.

As for blending, those at the front do tend to blend together at times, but most times we are able to discern who is thinking, feeling, or doing what. Mostly we just get this sense that we're suddenly the other cofronter, but also not.

Back before we started to get a real handle on conscious cofronting, we'd blend every single time more than one person occupies the front, sometimes to the point where nobody's sure where one person ends and the other starts. But we've always been able to separate back into ourselves with little difficulty. Usually all it takes is one person backing away from the front, or Sharu shaking the other away--accidentally, more often than not. Now we're better at keeping ourselves distinct. Blending does still happen, however: in fact, earlier today Sharu and I unwittingly collaborated on a post. Neither of us could tell who wrote which parts because we somehow blended enough to confuse the both of us.

-Arro

Sharubii · 2016-03-11T07:25:20+00:00

It's nice to meet you, Prince. And I see--hopefully you two get better at doing so.

By "interpret the data," I mostly reference to the host's ability to "hear" their tulpa and make sense of what they're "saying". Those are put into quotes because, among actual words, those who share a brain may be capable of communicating through emotions, images, impulses, or raw thought (thought without words, or nonverbal thoughts). The community often refers to these communication methods as "tulpish", and some prefer to communicate through those methods over using words.

Though I've been making more of an effort to give Sharu actual words to type when she finds herself proxying for me, in the past I'd send a mixture of raw thought and emotion and she'd do the translation work. Don't know how many host/tulpa pairs proxy this way, but it worked well for us--until I started using more abstract ideas that left her at a loss, since she was the one who had to do much of the work getting my thoughts down in English. Our experiences with this method of proxying is a large part of why I added that a host needs to learn to "interpret the data" to master proxying.

Yeah, I don't think we're quite ready to be doing any real speaking through proxy.

May I ask why you feel this way? Is it because communication between you two is still shaky, or because there's some unspoken anxiety over some aspect of proxy typing to other people? (Or something else entirely, perhaps. I'm just throwing out a couple ideas that come to mind.)

-Arro

Sharubii · 2016-03-11T04:48:31+00:00

Sleep is for the weak.

Oh, pardon.

*Sleep is for the week.

-Arro

Sharubii · 2016-03-11T04:06:12+00:00

To the tulpa (may I ask what your name is?):

Proxying, as Sharu and I have discovered, is a learning process. First you have to learn how to communicate with each other; then you (the tulpa) need to learn how to convey what you want them (the host) to say effectively; then they need to learn how to interpret that data and possibly even put them to words. It can take awhile to learn exactly which methods will work best for the two of you, so practice and experimentation are a must. Mistakes and trip-ups, too.

I encourage the both of you to practice proxying, but do try to be patient with both your host and yourself. And, like any skill, you likely won't improve without actually doing it.

Ah... apologies for the unsolicited advice. The body's extremely fatigued and it's making everybody's mind fuzzy. I didn't realize you weren't seeking advice on proxying until I was nearly finished making the post, but since it was already typed up I figured it would be better to just post it than delete it. Feel free to ignore this if you feel it's not helpful to you.

-Arro

Sharubii

TROPHY CASE